


All That Glitters

by FloraDelirus



Category: High Mountain Rangers
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-29
Updated: 2012-03-23
Packaged: 2017-10-31 22:08:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 87,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/348854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FloraDelirus/pseuds/FloraDelirus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When someone from Matt's childhood shows up in the mountains to claim the cabin she inherited from her Great Uncle, mystery seems to follow since she won't speak of what's happened to her in the last 15 years since Matt last saw her...which can't be good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: The original High Mountain Rangers and Jesse Hawkes characters are the property of A. Shane Co. with Sibling Rivalries. They appear in this piece of fiction for entertainment purposes only. All other original characters are intellectual property of Heather B.
> 
> No money is made by anyone. We want to thank the writers and actors from bringing these wonderful characters to life and sparking our imaginations to continue to keep them alive.

An old green Chevy pickup, badly rusted around the wheel wells, pulled into the parking lot of the Ranger Station. Behind it was a small two stall horse trailer that had seen better days. One tire looked to be almost bald and the door latch was held closed with what was probably bailing wire. The bed of the truck was tarped over, hiding the contents that made it bulge at odd angles here and there. When the engine shut off, it rattled to a halt and the driver gave a grimace as if afraid it might not start up again.

Robin looked up from her desk and out front window of the station at the noise of the truck. She raised an eyebrow at the sight but said nothing to the others who were scattered around the inside of the station. It was only 8:30 in the morning and everyone was working on their list of tasks that Matt had just handed out to them earlier. Looking back down at her own work she didn't see the short haired woman get out of the truck and glare at it as if it had offended her somehow.

The woman ran a hand through her short hair in frustration, walked around the truck to make her way towards the Ranger Station and up onto the porch. The old broken down cowboy boots she wore thudded heavily onto the wood and she yanked on the handle of the exterior door in front of her. Looking inside the second glass door she saw the interior of the Ranger Station as several white and black clad individuals bustled around with packs, unpacking and checking out their gear. Frowning slightly, she opened the second door and stepped inside.

Robin looked up the woman that had entered, "Hi! Can I help you?" she asked politely.

The woman glanced around as she spoke, though she hadn't looked at Robin yet, "Yeah….Guy down at the store told me I had to check in if I was gonna go up into the mountains." The woman's head swung around then to observe the blonde with blue eyes that looked dull with a hint of frustration behind them.

Robin had recently taken a class offered by the FBI on reading a person by the look of their eyes and their body language. This woman made several of the things she'd learned in class jump to the forefront of her mind. She saw a guarded nature, tense muscles and tight control over facial features that told her the woman was nervous about something. What exactly, Robin didn't know yet. Now would be a good time to try and lead into that with some simple questions.

"Sure. Standard procedure ma'am," Robin said with a calm smile. "We like to know who's going up into the mountains in case we have a storm blow in. We occasionally get earthquakes and if that were to happen, we need to be able to account for people who are up there." Robin kept her tone light and positive, non-threatening.

The woman's eyes swept the place again, noting that several of the other Rangers had glanced up at her and then had gone back to their jobs. "Yeah…kinda figured," was all she said.

Robin raised an eyebrow, "Sooo…can I get your name, where you plan on going and for how long?" She had taken a clipboard out of her desk with a sheet of paper on it that had standard questions for travelers to fill out if they checked into the Ranger Station.

The dull blue eyes looked back at her, "Clara Rodgers. Going up to my great-uncles cabin…." She watched as the blonde scribbled down the information and her muscles tensed a little more.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matt, who had been working in his office with the door open, had heard the woman's voice as she spoke to Robin. Something about the way she spoke made him take notice and he slowly got up from his chair to go out and investigate. The voice sounded dull, tightly controlled, unemotional and upon stepping into the doorway, he got his first look at the woman. She stood stock still, not moving except her head having turned to observe the room, but never looking at Robin for more than a moment. When she did stop to look at Robin, the woman seemed to go completely still.

She was dressed in a pair of faded blue jeans, broken down cowboy boots, a plaid flannel shirt and a slightly oversized wool lined jean jacket that had seen better days years ago. Her hair was a dark brownish color that he could have sworn was a dye job and it showed signs of having recently been cut and not professionally. She looked well fed but there was a feel to her that made him think of a long caged animal, tense and untrusting and would either cower or react aggressively at the slightest move towards them.

Robin had asked her name and upon hearing it, Matt's attention snapped back to her face. Clara Rodgers? He stepped forward finally, stopping so not to tower over the woman. "Excuse me, Miss? You wouldn't happen to be Jake Rodger's great niece?"

Her eyes flicked towards him then upward slowly. "Yeah," she stated simply, her tone wary. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news but he passed away about eight years back," stated Matt. "His place has stood empty since then." Her eyes never left him, "I know. He left it to me in his will." The eyes looked him up then back down again. "I used to come out here in the summers until I was about eight to stay with him." Her entire body was one tight ball of nerves and she seemed almost ready to bolt for the door.

Matt broke into a grin, "Well if you're the Clara I remember, you'll have a half moon scar across the pad of your left thumb…," he stated, wondering if this was really 'the' Clara he remembered.

The woman before him jerked a little in surprise and looked down at her left thumb, rubbing it absently and then rolled it upwards a little, the light of the station catching the tips calloused finger pads. In a faded thin line was the white half moon scar. She looked up at him then frowned slightly. "Thought that was you, Matthew Hawkes. It's your fault I've got that scar. You and your stupid pocket knife," she said flatly.

Matt blinked, "You were the one that insisted that you could cut the fishing line all by yourself. I told you the knife was sharp." He had crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at her a little.

Blue eyes looked back up at him but there seemed to be little emotion in them. "Listen. I have a long drive ahead of me if I remember correctly. Think you can give me directions on how to get up there?" she said in a bit of a clipped tone as she dropped her hand, shoving it into her coat pocket.

Matt seemed wary of her tone and demeanor. "Yeah, sure. I'll warn you though. The cabin's in rough shape. Standing eight years without anyone using it in this climate, it's probably going to have some serious roof or even structural issues." He picked up a map and unfolded it. With a highlighter, he marked out the route she was to take and then highlighted the area that was Rodgers property.

He made a note with a different colored marker, "This is where my dad and brother live and how to get there if you get into trouble or need help. They've also got a radio there if you need to get a hold of anyone," he said trying to take up a professional manner again since it seemed as though Clara was not here for a social visit.

She looked down at the map then reached out and took it, folding it before looking around once more. "Thanks," she said flatly. With that, she walked out of the station, pulled the oversized coat around her a little more tightly and went over to her truck. Climbing in, she managed to get the engine to start after the second try and pulled out of the parking lot.

Robin looked at Matt. "Something's not right with her," she stated with a touch of concern.

Matt frowned, "I knew Clara Rodgers when we were kids. Whatever's happened to her in the last fifteen years to make her like that, I almost don't want to know. Dad used to joke she was nothing but sunshine and daisies …nothing could ever keep her sad or upset for more than five minutes back then."

Robin watched out the window at the now empty parking lot. She looked down at the clipboard then back up at Matt who was shifting a little as he stared at nothing, thinking.

Absently Matt said, "I think I'll radio my dad and give him a little heads up. Maybe he can keep an eye out for her. Something's not right…," he said, echoing Robin's last statement. But he didn't say anything more as he turned and headed over to the radio desk to call up to his dad's.

TBC --


	2. Chapter 2

Clara got out of the parking lot and onto the road before she let her emotions catch up to her. Of all the people to run into…Mathew Hawkes! Oh god! Her hands were shaking so hard on the steering wheel she had to hold onto it until her knuckles were white and she was afraid she’d break the ancient thing. Her breath was coming in short pants as she tried to get herself under control.

The whole reason she’d come up here was to escape, to get away from everyone and everything. No one to know she was here, to just…disappear. She’d been such a fool to even consider checking in at the station like the old man had said but what else was she to do? She couldn’t remember how to get up to Uncle Jake’s cabin. The last time she’d been up there she’d only been eight. Eight year olds don’t remember things like north and south or landmarks. That was fifteen years ago! Things changed in that kind of time!

Her mind whirled in ever tightening circles until she let out a little scream of frustration and pulled over to the shoulder of the road for a few minutes. Maybe she should just go somewhere else. Maybe she could find another cabin somewhere else…. She stopped her brain in that line of thinking. She wasn’t a mountain girl. She didn’t know the first thing about survival up here. It had taken all of her courage just to get this far. Where else was she going to go? Out of the thousand dollars she’d started out with, she had four hundred bucks in cash left in her pocket. She’d spent six hundred of it on this truck, trailer, two horses, supplies, food for the horses and for herself according to the research she’d done of what she thought she might need when she came up here.

She took a few deep breaths, pried her hands off the steering wheel and ran them through her hair. God she hated her short hair. It felt…wrong to her. She’d had long hair since she was young and this short crap was just not her. But she’d have to make it ‘her’ if she was going to disappear. She sighed finally, working to unknot the tension in her shoulders. This wasn’t helping her any. She just needed to get up to the cabin, assess its condition and figure out what to do from there.

Pulling the map out from her jacket pocket where she’d stuffed it, she looked down at it. She took in a deep breath to calm herself and then put the truck into drive. She winced at the clunking noise it made as she did so and prayed that it was just because it was old. Pulling out onto the blacktop she headed towards the road she was to take that headed up towards her Uncle’s.

Half an hour later she found the turn off and slowed down to take the turn, wincing at the roughness of the dirt and gravel pack, giving a stray thought to the two horses being jostled around in the back of the trailer. She began working her way up the mountain, taking the twisting, turning road as it headed ever higher into the hills surrounding the snow capped peaks.

The farther she went the rougher the road grew, showing that it hadn’t been traveled much in a long time, even by logging companies. Putting the truck down into second gear she took things much slower as the ruts and washouts became worse. Wincing with each jostle that she felt would have shook the teeth from her head. She prayed that the trailer would stay attached and that the horses were still standing. Two and a half hours into the trip up the road, she heard something that made her heart nearly leap out of her chest.

A grinding noise could be heard coming from under the truck and with a sudden horrible clang, the truck came to an abrupt stop, the trailer’s momentum causing it to jack-knife sideways somewhat and she felt as well as heard the screech of metal as the frame of the trailer bent and the back of the truck buckled. Then there was silence except for the screams of the horses in the back of the trailer and the thudding of hooves from inside.

Quickly scrambling out of the truck, Clara ran to the back of the trailer and climbed up onto the fender knowing she didn’t dare open the back doors of the trailer for fear the horses would bolt if they were free or kick at her. She looked down at her two horses and saw their wide terrified eyes looking around wildly as they squealed in fear. She could see no signs of injuries and she scrambled down and ran around the side of the trailer to make sure it was still intact and not buckled in somewhere.

With nothing more than a bent frame, she sighed and assessed what was left of the truck and trailer. Bending down, she looked under the truck and saw the answer as to the noise and sudden stop. Imbedded in the dirt of the road was a long thick rod that ran from the back of the truck to the front and was broken off somewhere near the front of the truck. It even had brought the front of the truck up off the dirt somewhat and it now tilted at an odd angle. Apparently this truck wasn’t going to be fixed easily or…ever again. She remained where she was, bent at the waist, looking at what remained of her trucks underside, her mind blank.

Finally she stood up slowly and opened the passenger door, taking out the map. She couldn’t be more than a few miles away from the cabin. She could saddle up the horses, load up the most important supplies now and come back for the rest later. She looked up at the sky then down at her watch. She had plenty of time…it was barely noon and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. Moving stiltedly she went back to the trailer, unhooked the bailing wire latch and opened the doors slowly.

Looking at the wild eyes of the horses inside, she swallowed nervously. A stray part of her brain asked her again why she was doing this. She had no answer for it…not now anyway. She had to get these horses unloaded, load up gear and get to the cabin. Then she might have an answer for that questioning part of her brain.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Four hours, two smashed fingers, a bloody nose and multiple bruises later, Clara sat on a downed tree next to the edge of the road looking at what was left of the trailer and truck, her mind numb for the moment. She reached up absently and took out the wads of toilet paper she’d shoved up each nostril in hopes of stopping the flow of blood. Her nose was tender and she ached everywhere.

The horses had given her a fight just to get past them to get to their ropes to untie them and get them out of the trailer. It had taken everything she had to hold onto them once out of the trailer to get them tied to trees so they could calm down. That’s where the bruises came into play. While they were calming down, she’d given them hay in hopes of giving them something to take their mind off the ride and being inside the trailer. Then she’d gone about untarping her load and looking at her supplies to decide what to try and take with her.

Once she’d sorted out what she thought she would need…a tent, sleeping bag, saddles, food, a few tools, grain for the horses, clothing for her…she’d gone to saddle the horses. Thankfully in the last fifteen years, she’d managed to keep up with her horseback riding. It wasn’t as often as she’d liked to but at least she had some clue about putting a saddle on a horse.

But with a spooked horse in an unfamiliar setting, it was pure hell trying to get things cinched down, tacked up and bridled. Hense, two smashed fingers when she had been knocked down and stepped on by one of them. They weren’t broken but they were sore and hard to flex at the moment. Once she’d saddled them, then came the task of getting her gear loaded. She had to cobble together something over the second saddle to carry the supplies. That’s where the bloody nose came from. Shear dumb luck caused the bag of canned goods to shift and slide off the saddle just as Clara was about to reach up to secure it, catching her in the face and nose.

She felt lucky not to have come away with a broken nose or two black eyes but it was still tender and she just wanted at this moment to lie down and give up right there. She was exhausted. She wanted to sleep. She felt like she should just go running down the road screaming at the top of her lungs. No one would hear her; no one would care. Maybe she would feel better afterwards. She let out a breath. It would just take more energy than she had at the moment so she gave it up as a lost cause.

Moving slowly from where she sat, she stood up and went back to the truck. Taking what supplies were left, she managed to get them all shoved into the cab of the truck then locked the doors. It wasn’t like she had to worry about anyone stealing the truck. Busted as it was, it wasn’t going anywhere. But she didn’t want the extra supplies and grain for the horses to be stolen, gotten into by the wildlife or ruined by the weather. The extra hay was shoved into the far back of the trailer and covered with the tarp to keep it dry before she shut the doors up and latched them.

Sighing, she finally got up onto the horse with the lightest load and after consulting the map, turned the horses in the direction of the cabin. At this point, she ‘almost’ didn’t care if the cabin had fallen over. She just wanted to come to the end of this nightmare journey. She was becoming too worn out for her brain to think of all the ‘what if’s’ or run in dizzying circles of worry and fear for her to care much about anything anymore. But there was always tomorrow…

TBC ---


	3. Chapter 3

Jesse Hawkes woke early every morning and this morning was no exception. He was up before the dawn and even in this mid spring morning, one still needed to stoke the fireplaces to take the chill off the cabin for a few hours before the sun took care of things for the rest of the day. He made his way into the kitchen and stoked the wood stove to get things heated up so he could make his morning coffee. He knew that as soon as the smell of coffee wafted up through the rafters, he’d hear Cody stir and get up.

Ten minutes later, the soft footsteps of Cody moving around upstairs could be heard as he made his bed and got dressed. Such was their morning routine. Jesse pulled out a skillet and went to the ice chest to begin pulling out eggs and a chunk of bacon along with a small jar of salsa and canned peppers from last year’s supplies. They were running low and Jesse was glad they’d be planting their garden soon. He honestly couldn’t wait until he could have some fresh vegetables instead of canned.

As he worked to make them breakfast, Jesse’s mind wandered back to the radio call he’d gotten the previous morning from Matt. He’d called up with news about Jake Rodger’s great niece. Apparently she’d returned eight years after his death to claim what he’d left to her in his will, fifteen years after her last visit. That didn’t seem too out of the ordinary but it was the way Matt said things, basically giving him their own little code that something was off about the whole situation that made Jesse consider going and looking in on her today or tomorrow. Something about it all had made Matt uneasy and if Matt was uneasy, then it might be something Jesse should check into.

Cody stepped into the doorway with a strange look on his face. “Dad? We only own five horses…right?” he asked casually.

Jesse raised an eyebrow at this. “Last time I checked. Why?”

“Because either we don’t know how to count or someone lost a horse,” he said, jerking a thumb towards the direction of the corral.

This had Jesse’s full attention and he took the skillet off of the stove so not to burn their breakfast. “You sure?” he asked as he headed towards the door, reaching to grab his jacket off the peg, watching Cody do the same.

Cody nodded, “Has a halter on and it’s just standing outside the corral, helping itself to the hay.”

Jesse pulled open the front door and stepped out, feeling the crisp morning air and looked around for any signs of trouble. Seeing none at first glance, he made his way around the side of the house and headed at a slow, calm pace towards the corral where two of their horses were, Cooper and his leopard Appaloosa. Sure enough, helping himself to the hay in the manger from the other side of the corral fence was a worn out looking bay gelding. 

Walking with calm even footsteps up to it, Jesse reached out and took a hold of its halter. It showed signs of recent flight, sweat stains having dried on its flanks and it seemed tired, perhaps too tired to give up much of a fuss about being caught by a human, especially when food was right in front of its face.

Jesse continued to let it eat, “Cody, go make sure the middle stall is cleaned out for our guest and then lets saddle up and track him back to see where he came from.”

Cody had stopped at the front porch to watch his dad, not wanting to spook the horse with the presence of too many humans coming at him and let his dad do the ‘catching’. With a nod at his dad’s orders, he went off towards the barn and made sure there was fresh straw on the floor and water in the middle stall as his dad brought their ‘guest’ inside.

As Cody gave him a measure of grain and put hay in the manger, Jesse began to assess the horse. Finally he left the stall and went to help Cody gather their horses up to saddle. Jesse had to admit to himself, this was a first…waking to find a rider-less horse outside their cabin. Most likely it had run off in the night after being spooked and whoever it had run away from was left stranded.

“I’ll go in and finish fixing our breakfast to go Cody. Go catch one of our mares in case whoever lost their horse is stranded.” With that Jesse headed into the house and finished what he’d started, wrapping the eggs and bacon in some of the flour tortillas they had made up a few days before. Packing a few other supplies in the saddle bags, he brought them out and within moments, they were on their way, headed off to track the gelding that had graced them with his presence that morning.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Clara had stood there as she watched her pack horse run off while she held the lead rope. A stray thought flitted through her brain at that moment…she had a small pistol in her packs. It would be so easy just to end it all right here. Just go get it, stick it under her chin and pull the trigger. Bang…then nothing. No frustration, no anger, no fear…no …nothing.

Then the thought was gone and anger filled its place. She had left the road in hopes of angling over to the cabin instead of switching back and forth on the road. She was hoping to save time but instead had become lost on top of everything else that had happened. Typical! Just typical! It was growing dark and she had finally given up trying to find the cabin. It had turned into the utter and absolute worst day of her life. With a sigh, she figured she’d just have to try again in the morning. Finding a relatively flat spot, she deciding to pitch camp, fix something to eat since she’d missed lunch then spend the night in the tent before saddling up the horses up in the morning and finding the cabin. 

She’d tied the horses off to trees and unloaded their packs. She did her best to rub them down and even took a length of rope to make a picket line so they could graze a little. She had hooked up the horse she’d ridden today to it and gone to get her pack horse to put on the line. She’d unhooked the pack horse from lead rope that was tied around the tree, had a hold of him by his halter as she took him over to the picket line. As she had reached for the lead rope on the line to hook him up there, he’d spooked at something. With one swift jerk of his head, he’d pulled his halter out of her hand and was off like a shot.

Dropping the lead rope to the ground, she staggered back to the stack of goods and found the tent. After a few minutes she had the dome tent up and had pulled everything inside with her. She found a can of peas and opened it. Pulling a spoon out of the pack, she ate them cold, not even wanting to chance a fire at this point for fear she’d burn the forest down at the rate her luck was going.

She drank some of her water and finally crawled into her sleeping bag. She slept hard that night, too numb to do anything else. Morning came too early and the sound of her horse making noises outside woke her. Fearing that she might lose him too, she got up and went outside. The shock of the cold air made her gasp and she huddled down farther into her jean jacket, something she hadn’t taken off the night before.

Looking over at her horse, she saw he was simply moving up and down the line, digging at the ground to try and get to more grass just out of his reach. She went back into the tent and got a measure of grain from the one bag she had brought and put it on the ground in front of him. He stopped his pawing and began to eat, calming down. 

She had to make a decision now. She had to figure out what she could take with her and what she had to leave behind. What if she stayed lost another night, maybe more? What would she need? She took a few minutes to pull out the map again. Seeing the direction the sun was coming up, she looked for land marks and studied the map. Figuring out which direction she should go, she began to pack things up. 

After saddling her horse, putting as much as she dared on him, she took the rest and tried to put it up into a tree. She thought she remembered something about bears and trees but what the hell did she know. She was a city girl mostly. But doing the best she could, she wrapped the other saddle up in a blanket and put it up in the tree with the other things. If she was lucky, she would be able to come back in a few days if she found the cabin and retrieve it all.

Trying to memorize the place and landmarks, she took a piece of yellow nylon roping and tied it around a branch of a tree to mark it and make it visible…she hoped. After that, she climbed carefully into the saddle of her remaining horse and pointed him in the direction of where she thought the cabin was.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

By late morning, Jesse and Cody sat beneath a large pine tree and looked at the assortment of supplies tied up in the branches. Cody smirked, “Why do I get a feeling that a flatlander is responsible for this?”

Jesse looked over at his teenage son and sighed, “Well, you have to admit, it’s better than just leaving it on the ground for who knows what to get into it or the weather to damage it. Granted, a determined bear will get into it if they are hungry enough.” They had searched the area for the single horse but had found that two horses had entered the area, then their ‘morning guest’ had left, leaving them the trail they followed back here this morning. Another single horse had headed off at a different angle and that track was still relatively fresh.

Looking around at the ground, Jesse spoke up. “No sign of fire so they must have spent a cold night but at least they had the shelter of a tent.”

Cody looked down, reading the marks as clearly as his dad did. “Looks like they put up a picket line for the horses. I’ll bet that’s how their horse got away.”

Frowning, Jesse looked off in the direction the single horse that morning had gone. They were headed in the direction of Jake Rodger’s place. “Cody, I want you to bring down those supplies and saddle up our spare horse with their gear. Pack up the supplies and follow after me.” That little nagging feeling had awakened when he had seen the direction the fresh trail had gone off in.

“What’s up dad?” asked Cody.

Jesse looked at Cody, “Nothing yet but I get a feeling this is someone who doesn’t know a thing about being up in these mountains and the sooner I can find them, the better,” was all he said as he nudged his horse into a walk to follow after the lone rider.

Cody looked after his dad with a slight frown to his face then he looked upward and groaned. He hated climbing trees. At least he was bringing stuff down out of it, not hauling it up into one.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Her heart began to race a little when Clara saw the chimney over the tree line as she crested the rise. She knew those stones and had spent her summers admiring their formation. She was finally within reach of her goal. She urged her horse on a little, trying to reach the end of her journey…to get to the one place where she’d always felt welcome, always had felt free, had felt loved.

She knew her Uncle wouldn’t be there to receive her but if she could just ‘go back’ and be surrounded by the memories of her childhood after all these years…. Her horse picked its way down the ridgeline, causing the chimney to disappear behind the growth of pine trees. Just a few more minutes and she’d be there…at the end!

There was the tree where she and Matt had carved their initials as best friends when they were seven, the old trunk having healed itself over, the cuts barely visible now but she knew they were there. Her eyes shied away from it. Those were memories for another day, memories she wasn’t sure she ever wanted to revisit now that she’d seen Matt as an adult.

An edge of the barn came into view and her heart skipped a beat. It looked as though nothing had changed it in all these years. And then there it was…the cabin of her memories. The windows had shutters over them and years of pine needles had built up on the porch but could be easily cleared away. She quickly slid out of the saddle and pulled the horse over to the hitching post, tying the reigns around it.

Her hand absently reached up for the saddle bag that had been in front of her that held her small pistol and a few other things. She didn’t want to go in and find a bear or something living in there or a wild cat or something. She chuckled nervously at herself. A bear living inside of there…how stupid could she get! Wouldn’t it be obvious if a bear was living inside?

She fumbled inside the saddle bag for the key on a leather thong that would unlock the padlock on the front door. Her hands trembled as she stepped up onto the porch, hearing the old wood creak under her. Reaching for the rusted padlock, she had to make several tries at it to get the key into the hole and then put a little effort into getting the key to turn, popping the mechanism open.

Pulling the lock apart, she unhooked it and tossed it aside, putting the key absently back in the saddle bag and pulling out her small pistol. Unhooking the latch, she pushed the door of the cabin inward. It groaned on its hinges, like one would hear at a haunted house.

Having expected it to be dark inside from the shuttered windows, she stood in shock at the sunlight pouring in, illuminating the rubble in the center of the empty room. Taking a hesitant step into the cabin, hands trembling as the saddle bag fell from numb fingers, Clara looked upward.

Rays of noonday sun streamed down from the open roof. The support beams for the roof were still there but the shingles and ceiling had caved in. Several sparrows flitted about on the inside of the cabin, causing shadows to dart here and there through the sunlight. Her eyes fell to the floor again and the evidence of at least one winters worth of snow melt having damaged the interior of the walls and floor. 

She couldn’t move another step. There were only two words that echoed through her mind over and over again. ‘Now what?’

Her vision blurred and she closed her eyes for a moment, hoping that if she opened them again, everything would be just the way she remembered it so long ago. But as she opened them, two huge tears rolled down her cheeks and nothing had changed from the image that had just been burned into her retinas. Destruction of her last hope for escape lay in a jumbled up pile on the floor in front of her.

Without really thinking of it, the hand holding the gun brought it up to her chin and she felt the cold barrel pressed there. This thought had flitted through her mind last night. She knew it was the coward’s way out of everything that had happened to her, but she knew that four hundred bucks wasn’t going to fix this. She’d been foolish to think that she could run away from everything and just disappear. The cage that had been built around her really hadn’t let her go. It was still there…this had all been an illusion of freedom.

Four hundred bucks…wouldn’t fix a roof, wouldn’t be enough to put food on her table for god knew how long. She didn’t know how to grow anything. What was she going to do? Live off the land? Wait tables? She didn’t even have a truck to get back and forth out of town now. She had one horse to her name. How long was that poor old thing going to last traveling back and forth so she could make money to buy food? How was she going to heat this cabin, even if she could afford to fix the roof? She had no clue of how to chop wood or even what was good wood or not. 

She was a fool! A stupid, naive, useless fool…. Tears streamed down her cheeks as her finger worked to tighten on the trigger. She could only pray the end would be quick and painless.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Jesse had followed the trail but it was evident that they were headed right for Jake Rodgers place. He knew instinctually then that it was Clara he’d been following. He wondered how she’d take the sight of seeing the collapsed roof of the cabin. He’d seen it last year when he’d come through after the earthquake. 

It wouldn’t take much to repair but something told him that with what Matt had hinted at in his radio call yesterday about Clara and with finding her extra horse at their place, tracking it back to find half the gear inexpertly hung in the tree and no sign of fire from the night before, he got the sense that she might be at her wits end. If this was Clara, perhaps having someone there to soften the blow of the hole in the roof or to help her out some would maybe make things not seem so bad.

As he came around the corner of the cabin, he saw the horse he’d been following tied to the hitching post and saw the front door standing open. The silence from inside worried him and his gut told him something wasn’t right. He would have expected to hear someone moving around inside, shuffling through the debris, checking out the rest of the place, something. 

Dropping the reigns of his horse and giving the hand signal to stay, Jesse moved towards the door. He could see a shadow of someone standing just inside, the noon sun casting it out past the door and onto the porch. The stance of the shadow and the position of their arm up to their head made him move as silently as he could, his instincts telling him he didn’t want to scare her.

As he came to the door frame and looked inside, he took in the sight of the woman before him, how she seemed to stare at the floor, then up at the opening in the roof. Her whole body trembled with tension as the glint of sun off of metal made Jesse’s heart stop as he saw what she held to her chin. Her hands were shaking as tears ran down her face. This was not someone to mess with as she seemed only seconds away from making the decision to pull the trigger.

He swallowed and in two fluid steps he swept her gun hand away from her chin so that if her finger squeezed on the trigger, it would fire off into the wall or ceiling. In that same sweeping arch of motion, he reached to grab for her hand so she couldn’t come back at him with the gun. His other arm and body moved around behind her to hold her in a grip to keep her from escaping and trying to do herself or him any harm in her panic.

He heard a shot go off and felt her body tense and then go limp as he worked to hold her up, his back screaming with the added weight as he worked to lower her to the floor, praying that the shot had actually gone wild and that he hadn’t been too late…

TBC ----


	4. Chapter 4

Twenty minutes later, Jesse was coming to realize how thankful he was that he’d had sons instead of daughters. He sat on the floor of Jake’s cabin with a sobbing young woman in his arms as she cried all of her sorrows out against his shoulder. He had pulled the gun away from under her chin in time but she had collapsed as if in a faint. In that second it took her weight to bear them to the floor she seemed to come back to her senses somewhat and she began to fight him though he held onto her, not letting go. 

He could hear the fear in her voice of not knowing who was holding onto her. He’d had to repeat his name over and over again to her, calling out her name and telling her to calm down. Jesse knew he didn’t dare let go of her for fear she’d take off and do something foolish to cause further harm to herself in the state she was in. Finally she seemed to remember who he was and had burst into hysterics, her whole body going limp and her face pressed against his shoulder.

He did what he felt was right by simply holding her gently and letting her cry herself out. Those first few minutes had been the worst. It was the kind of crying that could have ripped the heart out of anyone. The sound of mourning, of loss, the kind that spoke of a pain that was soul deep, of desperation and fear, sorrow and the desire to just give up completely. 

After that, she began babbling in between sobs in broken sentences about how she had been so stupid to come here, what was she thinking, she couldn’t survive up here, how was she going to fix all of this up with what little she had left, what was she going to live off of and on and on. It all tumbled out in half broken sobs as Jesse simply held her and stroked her hair, one hand patting her back absently. Until she calmed down, there was no sense in trying to make heads or tails of what she was saying.

Finally, when his back began to really hurt from sitting in one position for too long and the strain it had taken upon her collapse to the floor, she began to calm down to where there were only little hitching sobs now and then. He felt her begin to pull away and he released her so not to make her feel trapped. He took a good look at her and saw her face was blotchy red and her eyes swollen from crying. 

She wiped her nose absently on the sleeve of her jacket and snuffled as she pulled away and sat up, her face beginning to flush a deep red from perhaps shame or embarrassment. Reaching into his coat, Jesse pulled out a hanky. 

“Here,” he said quietly, in a soothing voice.

As she took it, he reached into the other inside pocket of his coat and fished around for the other item he sought. She turned her back on him a little and he heard her blow her nose and saw her arms move as she wiped at her eyes a little. There was the sound of a little hiccup. 

Pulling the flask out of his jacket pocket, he nudged her with it. “Take this. Drink some of it. It’ll help dull the edges.”

Clara turned to look at him again, red swollen eyes still looking defeated. She looked at the flask and then back up at him, “But…,” she tried to protest.

Jesse shook his head and stood. “Come on Clara. I’m going to take you back to my cabin. I think you could use a hot shower, a warm bed and some time to regroup. I don’t usually abide in drinking this stuff straight but have a few swigs. It’ll help dull the edges a little. I get a feeling you’re probably a bit raw mentally and spiritually. This will help till we can get you back to the cabin…”

She blinked, “We?” she asked, taking the flask finally and slowly twisting the cap off of it before sniffing at it.

Jesse smiled. Even as upset as she was, she caught the person change in his speech. “Yes. My youngest son Cody is bringing your supplies from out of the tree. Your spare horse showed up at our place sometime last night. We stabled him and brought one of our pack horses, followed the tracks back to your cold camp and saw your gear up in the tree. He stayed to get it down and pack it up then followed me here.” 

Clara blinked at him in confusion for a moment, her mind trying to work through what he’d just said and then looked past him as a shadow moved outside. She caught a glimpse of a young man leading another horse just past the door. Her eyes went back to Jesse and then to the flask. Tipping it up, she took the first of the prescribed swigs and gave a little cough after she swallowed.

Nodding in satisfaction, Jesse walked over and picked up the small caliber gun he’d gotten away from her and set the safety, then cleared the round in the chamber. Not saying anything, he tucked it into his waistband, pocketed the unspent round and policed the spent shell casing off the floor.

Clara took a second swallow and then put the cap back on the flask as she grimaced when it burned going down. After a few moments she had to admit that she felt a little numb around the edges and she realized she didn’t really mind. 

Cody stepped up onto the porch after dismounting and peeked into the doorway, giving a slight whistle at the hole in the ceiling and then looking at his dad and the woman whose eyes were swollen and red from obvious crying. 

“Clara, I’d like you to meet my youngest, Cody. The last time you saw him he was just shy of a year old,” said Jesse with a little smile.

She nodded to the teenager, “Yeah, I remember somewhat. That was the summer Matt could hardly be pulled away from his baby brother to come over and play. You were just learning to walk by then and he was determined he had to show you every tree and rock outside….” She smiled just slightly at the memory. All she could remember was how exasperated she had been with Matt at the time and how bored she was when she visited him at the family cabin because it was all about Cody. She didn’t have siblings so she hadn’t understood the concept of how great it was to have a baby brother. All she knew was it cut into their fun time that summer.

Cody flushed a little but nodded politely, “Nice to meet you Clara. I take it that the stuff I got out of the tree was yours? I managed to get it all packed up and I guess we can store it at our place since this place looks unfit for anything at the moment,” he offered, turning to look at his dad.

Jesse looked at the young woman whom he remembered being so full of life back when she was only eight. Now she looked…well the best words to describe her were…used up. She looked worn out, tired and obviously at the end of her rope or she wouldn’t have just attempted to take her own life in desperation. 

“I agree with Cody. We can store it at our place. We’ve got a spare room there. You can stay with us until we can figure out what to do with this place,” he said looking around.

She shook her head, “I appreciate the offer Mr. Hawkes but … I don’t have the money to fix this. Even if I did, what little I’d have left, wouldn’t be enough to put food on my table. I was….stupid to think I could come up here and do this on my own.” She felt near to tears again.

Jesse shook his head, “It’s Jesse and help is always here for the asking. There’s a lot of ways to do things up here in the mountains that don’t cost much at all. Before you give up, why not come back with us, spend a few days regrouping and we’ll see if it’s not such a lost cause after all. You’re still living and breathing…means you can learn to live up here, take care of yourself and this place. Don’t give up so easily young lady,” he scolded softly.

Taking her shoulders, he guided her out the door. “Come on. A hot meal, a hot shower and a warm bed should make things look a little better tomorrow.”

Looking at Cody who smiled shyly at her, then at Jesse over her shoulder, she gave in and nodded. If it didn’t, she could always go find a cliff to jump off of somewhere…

TBC ---


	5. Chapter 5

Clara woke with a start in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room. The dark that surrounded her made her heart beat faster for a moment or two until she finally remembered the events of the day before. Settling back down under the covers of the warm bed, she stared up at the ceiling of Jesse’s spare bedroom. The sounds the cabin made were almost comforting in a way and the sound of the wind in the pines right outside her window lulled her back into a half sleep.

After an hour long horse ride back to their cabin, Cody and Jesse helped her unpack her gear and store it in the barn and cabin then turn the horses loose to graze. Cody had disappeared to take care of assigned chores and Jesse began working on fixing supper. She’d been ordered into shower and settle in for the night. Supper had been stew and fresh corn bread, the kind she remembered Uncle Jake making. 

She hadn’t been up for much conversation and after Jesse poured her another shot of a hard drink, he ordered her off to bed as the sun was sinking into the west. The shot of booze had done the trick and she barely remembered climbing into bed. Her body was awake now and her mind was catching up as thoughts of the past few days began to speed up, making her want to pull the covers over her head and disappear. 

The smell of coffee tickled her nose a few minutes later and that brought her head out from under the covers as she realized that someone was awake so she’d best get up and make an appearance since she was a guest. Getting out of bed with a slight gasp at the cool air, she quickly got into a pair of jeans and an old flannel shirt before making her bed and padding downstairs in stocking feet.

The lamp was lit in the kitchen and she made her way towards it, finding Jesse moving around as he began to prepare breakfast. “Good morning…,” she said in a quiet voice.

Jesse turned a little, “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”

She nodded a little and sat down on a chair, pulling her feet up into the chair and hugging her legs to her chest. “Yeah, more or less.”

He nodded and began preparing what looked like the fixings for scrambled eggs. “Feeling a little better today?” he asked.

Her only answer was a shrug.

Jesse looked at her for a moment and pursed his lips but said nothing for a few minutes as he continued to work. Once the food was ready to be started, he left it to the side as he waited for Cody to come downstairs. Finally he sat down at the table next to her and faced her.

“Clara, what’s happened to you? It’s been fifteen years since I last saw you and yes, people do change but this…,” he indicated the woman sitting the chair next to him, “…is nothing even close to the eight year old girl I once knew.” 

Blue eyes looked back at him for a few seconds and then she looked away. “My life sucked. My family sucked. Only person that ever cared about me was Uncle Jake and they stopped letting me see him after that summer. A few months ago, I’d had enough of everything and so I made plans. I saved up what money I could and I left. Bought a horse trailer, a truck and supplies, two horses and gear then came up here. Doubt they even remember that Uncle Jake left me the cabin. I thought I’d come up here and everything would be all right….everything would be just like it was when I was eight…,” she snorted bitterly and looked back at Jesse. “…instead it just turned into one big cluster fuck.” There was an angry edge to her voice.

Jesse raised an eyebrow at that, “If you had a truck and trailer, why didn’t you drive it up to Jakes instead of riding the horses up?” he asked, trying to keep her talking. There was something more to this and he needed to start pulling answers out of her somehow.

She gritted her teeth and let her legs drop down off the chair, her feet thudding heavily onto the floor boards. “Because, the truck broke down on the way up here…something underneath busted and impaled itself into the road, caused the whole mess to come to a sudden stop and bent up the trailer frame. So there just went most of six hundred bucks. It’s sitting out there on that road with the rest of my supplies and horse feed locked up in the cab.” She crossed her arms in a huff and glared at the table.

With a sigh, he got up from the table as he heard Cody’s footsteps on the floor upstairs and began to fix breakfast. Jesse didn’t need her to tell him much else about the trip. The truck had wrecked, the horse trailer bent and then she’d had to try and pack up as much as she could to make it to the cabin. That night, she’d lost a horse and by the next morning had to pare down her gear even more. When she finally made it to the cabin, she found it with a huge hole in the roof.

There was silence in the kitchen as he worked. His ears were long ago tuned into listening to Cody move about and soon heard him coming downstairs. “So what do you do for a living Clara?” asked Jesse as he worked to fry up some sausage.

Clara looked up as Cody came into the kitchen then looked back down at the table. It was quiet for awhile and when she finally spoke, there was hesitation in her voice. “I traveled a lot, worked a lot of long hours, manager was a real asshole but the money was good…not that I really ever saw any of it,” she said, fiddling with something on the edge of the place mat. 

Jesse looked over his shoulder at her, “That doesn’t tell me what you did though…,” he stated evenly.

She glanced up at him, then at Cody, her cheeks flushing slightly. “Honestly, I really don’t want to talk about what I did for a living.”

Giving her a long, measuring look, Jesse nodded finally, “Fair enough,” he said and went back to working on breakfast as Cody got up to set the table, looking at her curiously. She was certain he had manners enough not to ask the questions he wanted to but she knew they were making up their own conclusions.

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Jesse sighed as he allowed Clara to take over cleaning up breakfast dishes. He went in search of several old books he’d tucked away years ago that he’d first been given by Aaron Bass when he’d come to these mountains. They were basically a form of survival guide…how to books. He figured it would give Clara something to start reading while he did some checking around. 

Her words that morning at the breakfast table basically told him she was either running from something or someone. Could she possibly be involved in some form of adult entertainment services? Why wouldn’t you want to talk about what you did for a living if you weren’t trying to hide from someone or escape your past and start over? He wasn’t going to push the issue so long as she wasn’t involved in anything illegal. 

Finally finding what he was looking for, he took them back into the kitchen and set them on the table. Cody had gone out to the barn to take care of morning chores and Jesse took this time to speak to her about this. 

“I found a couple of books you could use to begin reading,” he said, sitting down to watch her work as she washed dishes. 

She looked over her shoulder at him and then at the books, before nodding. “Thanks.”

“Clara, I’m willing to help you in any way that I can. I owe that much to Jake. But if you’re in some kind of trouble, I need to know. If you are, maybe I can help. But if you’re running, someone is bound to catch up to you sooner or later,” he said, trying to get her to open up.

Her shoulders tensed a little and she stopped moving. Finally she turned and wiped her hands on a towel. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do. No, I’m not in trouble with the law. I’ve just had enough of not being in control of my own life, of being someone else’s puppet. I cut the strings and I left. For good or bad, I’m here and I guess I’m going to have to do whatever I can to survive and start over without someone jerking me around and dictating what I can and cannot do,” she said, her voice growing angry. 

Jesse realized the anger wasn’t at him but at what had been done to her. Whatever that was, she obviously had buried it and was not willing to discuss it with anyone. He nodded, “All right. Just know that if you ever want to talk about it, I’m here. I’m not the most worldly individual but I’m at least good at listening,” he said with a careful smile.

Clara’s hands unclenched from the towel and her shoulders sagged. She looked to the floor and then nodded. “Thanks,” she mumbled. With that, she turned around and went back to finishing the dishes as Jesse got up and went outside.

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Jamie whistled softly at the state of what was left of Clara’s truck and trailer. Cody had radioed him that morning and asked him to meet him on the logging road at the wrecked truck with his Blazer. 

“Damn…,” he said as he walked around the wreck and looked underneath to see the cause of the whole thing. “Pretty much scrap at this point in time. Trailer isn’t worth much either. How she managed to keep it from flipping, I’ve no idea.”

Cody shrugged, “Don’t know. Come on. Help me get these supplies loaded up. Think your dad knows someone who’ll be willing to come up and haul this away and pay her for it?” he asked.

The young Native American kid shrugged, “Don’t know. I’ll ask him though. Brought the Polaroid so I can get some pictures so he can look it over and I’ll radio in a day or two. Might let Matt know it’s here.”

The two used the keys Clara gave Cody and unlocked the cab of the truck, then unloaded the extra supplies into the Blazer. The hay was last to be shoved into the back on a tarp and when they were done, both sat on the tailgate of the wrecked truck, drinking from a canteen.

“So who’s this Clara chick?” asked Jaime.

Cody took a swig of water, “Apparently Matt knows her back from like when they were kids. I guess I wasn’t quite a year old the last time she saw me. She’s Ol’ Man Jake’s Great Niece…you know, the one he left the cabin to?”

Jaime was about to take the canteen from Cody, “That’s her?! Holy crap! Grandfather’s going to be glad to hear that. He’s been storing Jake’s stuff for eight years in that back shed. Won’t let anyone touch it or put anything in there. Says that only Jake’s Great Niece can get the stuff out of there.” he said. “Maybe now I can have some room to put my dirt bike and a place to put a workbench or something…,” he rambled on.

Cody looked at him curiously. “You mean your grandfather hauled all of Jake’s stuff down off the mountain when he died? I was just up there the other day and the roof is half caved in. Don’t even know if the place is even sound enough for her to salvage it.”

The other young man shrugged and took another sip of water and changed the subject a little. “Is she cute?”

“Who?” Cody asked looking at Jaime.

“Jake’s Great Niece...Clara,” Jaime verified.

Cody raised an eyebrow and shrugged, “I’ve only seen her when she’s either just got done crying or in a bad mood or depressed. Looks like she tried cutting her hair on her own and got a bad dye job. She might have been cute but right now…you don’t really want to be around her, so no, I wouldn’t call her cute.”

Jaime looked at Cody for a moment, “Why would she cut her hair and dye it?”

Cody shrugged, “She’s a woman. I don’t understand half the stuff my mom or Robin talk about when I’m around them. Do you understand half of what your female relatives do or talk about?”

The Native American boy shook his head, “You’ve got a point….”

TBC ---


	6. Chapter 6

Clara stood in awe of how fast the Hawkes men could make things happen. In less than a week, her extra supplies had been hauled to the barn at Jake’s and to Jesse’s house for safe storage away from animals. The truck and trailer had been hauled away for scrap and she’d been given cash for what was left after the cost of gas had been taken out of the haul away. Granted, it wasn’t much but it put a few extra hundred dollars in her pocket.

Jesse had taken her over to Jake’s two days later and they had spent that time cleaning out the cabin of debris and her task was to go through every shingle and inspect it according to his instructions. If it passed muster, it went into a ‘keep’ pile. If it didn’t, it went into a burn pile after the nails were pulled out of them. Jesse took the time to show her how to assess wood for rot and damages to the floor and interior of the cabin, which once the debris had been cleared out, wasn’t too bad. 

Several days later, Cody and Jaime, a young Native American kid, were up on the roof pulling up shingles from the side of the roof where the hole was and tossing them inside where again, Clara was assessing them. One of the roof beams had to be replaced but Jesse knew right where to go to get a tree to replace it at no cost to her other than a few days worth of hard work to haul it from the site to the cabin and then getting it up into place. 

By the end of the second week, a new beam had been secured to the roof, replacing the rotted one and they were installing new decking for the roof. Unfortunately the decking was what had cost her about a third of what she had left of her money. Jesse had avoided getting on the roof, leaving that to Cody and Jaime who in the end got Clara up there, showing her how to hammer in nails along the decking and to hold down the protective tar paper that went under the shingles.

When she wasn’t on the roof, she was helping Jesse turn a patch of ground where Jake used to have a garden. Jesse and Cody had already put their own garden in just before she had arrived and had given her their extra seeds. Jaime had brought up a few extra packets of seeds from their garden that they hadn’t used and by the time the decking was on the roof and all that was left to replace was the shingles, the garden was planted. Using an old roll of chicken wire that had been found up in the loft of the barn and a number of thick cut branches, it was as protected as they could make it from deer and animals for the time being.

Cody and Jesse watched Clara slowly come out of her shell in the three weeks they helped her assess and begin fixing up the cabin. She started opening up a little more, smiling more often and seeming to relax as more time went by. Cody thought that maybe she felt more relaxed because as time went by and no one found her, the safer she felt. He wasn’t sure but it seemed to fit the pattern of little things she’d said here and there in idle conversation.

One thing was for certain, she looked healthier. The wholesome food Jesse was feeding her, the exercise and hard work, the fresh air and sunshine she was getting had given her a healthier look. Granted, she looked like she’d put on some weight but it wasn’t in a bad way. Clara had managed to even get her hair evened out one evening from the bad haircut she’d obviously given herself and now that the dye job had a chance to fade some it looked a little more natural, well, at least not so obvious.

Matt had called up to the cabin multiple times over the weeks to see how they were doing but they’d told him very little since they sensed the fewer people that knew how things were with Clara, the better. Besides, it was the busy season and the Rangers were up to their eyeballs in work. Cody made the comment to his dad after the third radio call that if Matt really wanted to know how things were going, he’d make time to come find out for himself. Jesse had only smiled, silently agreeing with his youngest.

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By the end of the fourth week, Jesse and Cody had to head to town to take care of a supply run and Clara headed over to the cabin to work on the roof. It was going to be a hot day and she’d taken a t-shirt and cut off jeans with her because she’d discovered that being up on that roof in the direct mountain sun, she got overheated quickly. 

The fresh air and good food had done wonders for her and she felt stronger than she had in ages. The tasteless food she was always eating so she could ‘watch her weight’ for one reason or another always made her feel hungry. The food Jesse had fed her seemed to fill her up and she knew she was burning off the calories due to all of the riding and work on the cabin she’d been doing just in the past month.

Climbing the ladder with a bucket of nails and wooden shingles, she pulled her hair back in a kerchief and began her work on the next row where she'd left off the last time she'd been up there. By mid morning and her second trip up the ladder, she was already too warm and came down for the next load of shingles. After changing her clothes to her cut-offs and tshirt, she went back up and continued working until the mid-afternoon when the sun began to slip past the tree line. As she worked, she realized she felt at peace for the first time in many years. The air was cool but it felt so good on her skin, the breeze making her stop now and then to take a deep breath just to savor the feel of the sense of clean deep in her lungs and the feeling of the warm sun on her face. 

She knew she had a long, hard road to go yet to make things work up here but if this was just part of the reward for doing so, then she felt it was worth it. Her muscles felt relaxed, sore yes, but relaxed and the headaches that used to plague her constantly had gone away after the first week of being up here. Her thoughts strayed and she began to wonder what things were like back where she’d come from but she quickly shook them away. No, she’d left that behind. She wouldn’t think about it. This was her life now and she refused to let her past continue to rule her.

She heard horses approaching and looked down to see Jesse coming through the trees. She smiled down at him but froze for a moment at the sound of the click of a camera. A moment later, Cody rode his horse into view, a hobbyist camera around his neck and she realized he had taken her picture. The look on her face must have alerted Jesse because he looked over at Cody, “Son, I don’t think the lady is in her element to be having her picture taken. And I don’t think you can term her as ‘wildlife’ either.”

Clara blinked and then blushed a little with a smile. “Sorry. I didn’t know you were a photographer Cody,” she said as she gathered up her tools and lowered the buckets off the roof. By the time she came down the ladder the two men had moved around to the front of the cabin and dismounted. 

The young man was standing there by his horse, having put his camera away as she came around the edge of the cabin. “Sorry about that. I should have asked first. I usually carry it with me. I like to take pictures of wildlife and scenery. I’m interested in doing a photo journalism degree when I graduate from High School.”

“Really?” she asked, looking surprised. “I’d love to see your work if you’ve got a portfolio.”

Cody nodded but said nothing else for the moment. He’d gotten a couple of really good shots of her up on the roof working and one good shot of her when she’d turned around and smiled at his dad. He couldn’t wait to get back to develop them. They were the kind he thought he might tease Matt with. They’d seen Matt today and he’d kept asking about Clara, trying to get details about what was going on up at her cabin. The more closed lipped they’d been about her the more aggravated Matt seemed to become until it was almost comical.

Jesse smiled at Clara, “It’s coming along. Another day or so and you’ll have the roof finished. I think I’ve got you a line on some drywall and insulation for the interior once we’re sure all the leaks are sealed. Shouldn’t cost much at all. It’s recycled but hey, it still works,” he said with a nod.

She smiled at them, “Hey, I’m all about recycling so long as it saves me some green. Let me get changed now that the sun’s sinking. Don’t want to get too chilled but man it got hot up on that roof.” With that comment, she went into one of the back rooms and in a few minutes came out dressed in her blue jeans and flannel shirt. 

Cody did his best to keep his smile hidden as he thought of other things that were ‘hot’ up on that roof. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

What surprised Cody was how knowledgeable Clara seemed to be about his photography work. She had shown a genuine interest in his portfolio that night as they sat by lamp light going through it. After a few direct questions on objects in some of the photos and the themes of several others, she made several suggestions of things he might look to add and why. 

“Can I ask how you know all of this?” he asked casually.

She shrugged, “I’ve seen enough professional portfolios and talked with photographers and artists over the years that I’ve got a grasp of what they look for in the professional world. It’s a dog eat dog world out there and even if you want to do work for a nature magazine, you have to prove you know your stuff and can do it better than the next guy…not to mention being versatile in your subject matter.”

Cody stared at her for a few moments and then nodded, “Thanks. I’ll work to change it up some. I’ve got a few years yet before I’m to that point of looking for a scholarship or anything.”

Clara shrugged, “I’d start looking now. You’d be surprised what’s out there if you know where to look. Even getting your work and name out there now doesn’t hurt. When you get ready to go to look for scholarships or get into certain schools, they’ll usually have seen your work by then and it will be less difficult to get your foot in the door.”

They talked a little longer but finally after the long day on the roof, Clara finally bowed out and went to bed. Cody sat for awhile on the couch thinking about what she’d said but was still trying to puzzle out how she’d known so much about photography. Finally he gave a shrug to himself, put it in the back of his mind and headed to bed.

TBC ---


	7. Chapter 7

Cody rode up to the station a week later, a folder tucked securely in his saddle bag and dismounted with a slight smile on his lips. Several of the photos he’d taken of Clara on the roof had turned out to be those ‘million-dollar heart-stopper shots’ in his book and he was willing to make Matt squirm, maybe even Jimmy, for a copy of them. He knew Clara might beat the crap out of him for it but hey, he couldn’t deny natural beauty when he saw it. Even he’d been surprised when the photos had come out of the development solution. How he’d managed to capture her in just the right light, the right angle to make the most of her curves in those jean shorts and t-shirt with sun on her face…

Opening the front door, he headed inside and found Frank and Jimmy shooting a game of pool while Izzy sat at the radio desk, reading a magazine. Robin was nowhere to be seen but it must be her day off since her desk chair was pushed in. Matt’s office door was open, indicating he was around somewhere.

“Hey Cody!” called Jimmy from his game, “Matt’s out back. What do we owe the pleasure of your company today?”

Cody shrugged, “Just came down to see what Matt was up to. He hasn’t been up to see dad for awhile. Thought I’d come down and give him some crap about it…”

“I heard you have a house guest. Maybe Matt’s trying to avoid them?” said Avila with a grin.

Cody shrugged again and went over to see what Izzy was looking at. He saw it was one of Jimmy’s girly magazines and chuckled, “I’ve seen better,” he teased the tall man.

Izzy raised an eyebrow, “Oh? And where would you see better up on that mountain top…?” he asked in a snarky comeback.

The young man only grinned, “Well at least I can say that what I saw wasn’t air brushed…,” he teased.

That had all three of the men’s attention, “Cody…you better not be spying on that guest of yours. You’re dad will have your hide,” warned Jimmy.

Cody opened up his saddle bag and pulled out the photo of Clara grinning down at his dad, “Nope,” he said and gave Izzy a quick look, “See…like I said, I’ve seen better.”

The look on Izzy’s face was almost comical. He went to grab for the picture and Cody kept it just out of his reach, “Sorry…only the first look’s for free,” he teased as Jimmy and Frank moved over towards him.

“Hey!” Izzy growled. “That’s not fair!” 

Before things could get too out of hand, the sound of the back door shutting made them turn their heads. Matt stood there looking at the four of them, “Do I want to know?”

“Cody’s been taking pictures of some hot chick and he’s not sharing,” whined Jimmy playfully.

Matt’s blonde eyebrows went upward, “Oh really? And just where would you find some ‘hot chick’ that would let you take her picture…,” he asked as he moved over to his kid brother.

Cody grinned and slid the photo back into his saddle bag before Matt could get a look, “That information is classified big brother and will cost you lunch to get anything further from me on that subject.”

Frank and Jimmy laughed at Matt’s look of surprise. “Bribery. Wow! And here you said he was isolated up there on that mountain. If that’s isolation, I’d hate to see what he’d pick up living down here,” snarked Jimmy.

Matt gave a deep sigh, “Fine.” He looked around, “You three hold things down and when Hart gets back tell him I found that part he needed. It’s on the workbench in the shop.” With that, he grabbed his light windbreaker from the hook, then grabbed his brother around the neck and kept him in a headlock, moving him towards the door.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Matt looked across the table at Papa Murphy’s to stare at his kid brother who had remained silent and smiling the entire way there from the Ranger station. Matt knew that ‘smirk’ all too well since it meant Cody was up to something.

“All right Toad, out with it. You’ve obviously got something up your sleeve or you wouldn’t have bribed me to take you to lunch,” said Matt as he planted an elbow on the table in front of him and put his chin in his palm.

Cody raised an eyebrow, “It’s Ace and answer me this Matt…when are you going to go up and see her?”

Matt blinked, “See who?”

Cody sighed as he thought that there were times his brother could be so totally dense. He reached into the saddle bag he’d brought in with him and pulled out the best photo he had of Clara and held it up in front of Matt’s face. “Her.”

Silence reigned at the table for a moment as Cody saw his brother stare in shock at the picture. “Is that…?

“Yup. And you keep asking dad and I about her. We’re not your messenger boys. You should go up and visit with her yourself. She doesn’t bite…,” Cody paused at that for a moment, looking ‘thoughtful’. “Well, she probably doesn’t unless you ask her to,” said Cody with a sudden sly grin.

Matt’s face turned bright red and he sputtered, “Cody! Jesus! I need to stop Jimmy from sending those books up to you…” Matt reached forward to take the picture but Cody held onto it for a few more seconds.

“You going to go up and see her? We can’t always be up there to help her out with repairs to the cabin. Might be nice if you took some time off and helped her out.” With that, he let go of the picture so Matt could take it from him.

Matt looked at it for a few more seconds before he leaned it up against his chest as the waitress came over with glasses of water and asked for their orders. When she was gone, Matt glared at his little brother. “This is extortion. You know that, right?”

Cody shrugged with a sly smirk, “Hey, you’re the one that keeps asking us about her. Besides, you two were friends once. Time you caught up with her and had some friends outside of the Rangers.”

Matt rolled his eyes and looked at the picture again before putting it on the table, face down out of ‘harms’ way of any water rings or potential food spillage. “I’ll think about it,” was all he said.

“Oh, and while you’re thinking about it Matt, you can also call that logging company to come up and grade the road that runs up past her cabin. Dad’s called them once already when we were in town last time but I think a call from the CO of the Rangers would move things along a bit faster. They were supposed to fix it several years ago and they never took care of it. It’s only gotten worse since then.” Cody paused to take a drink of his water then leveled a look at Matt. “You do know she busted her truck and bent the frame on her horse trailer on that road trying to get up to the cabin, didn’t you?”

The look of surprise on Matt’s features told him he hadn’t. “No. I didn’t. Is her truck in the shop?” 

It was Cody’s turn to roll his eyes, “No Matt. Her truck is ‘busted’, as in ‘it will never run again’. Apparently the drive shaft broke off after hitting one too many bad ruts and impaled itself in the ground. Made her stop so suddenly the horse trailer slammed into the back of the truck and bent its frame. Jaime’s dad’s friend came up and hauled it away for scrap. Only way she has in or out of there now is her horses.”

Matt gave a low whistle. “Damned. Didn’t know that.” He was quiet then for a few moments, “Fine. I’ll go up and visit.”

“Good,” said Cody, looking rather pleased with himself as if he’d suckered his brother into something. “Then you can stop by Truxels Hardware and pick up the drywall and insulation he has set aside for her when you come up. It’s paid for. She just needs someone to bring it up there for her so she can finish the roof inside the cabin.”

“Now wait a minute…,” Matt started to protest.

“Look at it this way. It gives you a perfect excuse to come up to visit and maybe help out.” He knew he had his brother cornered and one hand gripped the bench seat under the table tightly, hoping his brother would take the bait.

Matt eyed him wearily. Finally he exhaled, “Fine! Next day I get off I’ll pick up the stuff from the hardware store and drive up there…and I’ll call the logging company to get them up there to make right on that road they should have fixed several years ago.” Matt mock scowled at his brother, “There! Now will that make you happy?”

Cody grinned and pulled out the other two candid photos he had taken of Clara on the roof out of the saddle bag and turned them around for Matt to look at, “With getting to see this almost every day, why wouldn’t I be happy?” he joked.

TBC ---


	8. Chapter 8

The noise that broke the peace of the mountains surrounding the cabin was almost unbearable. It had started out as a loud clanking and rumbling sound in the distance a week earlier and slowly grew to a low roar. Clara had been surprised by how much noise four pieces of heavy machinery could make.

She had grown used to the silence of the mountains and this ruckus was almost deafening to listen to. The only reason she even put up with it at all was because the road leading past her cabin and further up into the mountains was finally getting repaired. The dust that was kicked up from the machines was bad enough but the added noise it made unnerved her enough that she fled along with most of the animals in the area until the crew had moved on and the road was finally finished. She spent several days with Jesse and Cody, helping them with chores around their own cabin and letting Jesse teach her more about what was needed to survive at this high of an elevation. 

Upon returning to her home, she found everything coated in a thin layer of powdered dirt and fine grit from the gravel dumped onto the road. Looking around, she couldn’t imagine how much worse it would have been if she’d been living right off the road. As it was, she was about a quarter of a mile off of it and it was thick enough she could write her name in every surface within the cabin and on the outside of every window.

She spent several days on her own, cleaning out the cabin now that the roof was finally finished with shingles and looked like it had been sealed well since the rain from the week before hadn’t caused anything to leak through. The interior had a few minor repairs that still needed to be attended to but they were nothing that a little time and care couldn’t handle. The only major thing left was the ceiling. Jesse had secured her drywall and insulation but she wondered how she was going to get it up the mountain without any form of transportation.

Not wishing to manipulate Jesse or Cody’s time, Clara kept to herself somewhat, cleaning up around the outside of the cabin and inside the barn. She began assessing the few things she found inside the old structure but it was what she didn’t find that made her worry about her future comfort at the cabin. There was nothing in the barn or cabin that could even be called furniture. Clara ate her meals on a campstool in the kitchen and when she slept at the cabin and not at Jesse’s, it was on a second hand camp cot she’d purchased along with the few other supplies she’d managed to acquire since coming here. She knew though that it wouldn’t be enough for her to deal with the coming winter in any comfort. She could make it work if she had to but she’d prefer not to be sitting or laying so close to the floor during the cold winter months. 

On the second day of her barn cleaning adventure, the sound of a truck coming down the road towards the cabin brought her to the hayloft door. A black Ford pickup truck that she didn’t recognize pulled up to the front of her cabin. The man that climbed out of the cab, however, was familiar indeed. Blonde hair topped a tall lanky frame that had a casual grace about it. The man it belonged to looked around as she watched him and then his green eyes looked up to see her standing in the hayloft door. He was dressed in a worn gray sweatshirt and old faded blue jeans, obviously not in his Ranger uniform, which she thought was a pity.

“Hey…,” he called up to her, putting a hand over his brow to shade his eyes slightly so to get a better look up at her.

“Something I can do for you Commander Hawkes?” she asked, trying to sound casual while her mind whirled in nervous circles. Why was he here? She’d been in the mountains two months and she hadn’t seen him once since that first meeting. She suddenly felt confused perhaps even a touch angry by his sudden intrusion into her little world.

“It’s Matt. I’m off duty. And for starters, perhaps you could come down here and help me unload this drywall and insulation I hauled up here for you,” he said, a touch of annoyance in his voice at her ‘formal’ address to him.

With a raised eyebrow, she looked down at him from her superior position for another moment then disappeared from view. As she made her way down out of the loft she tried to calm her jumbled up emotions. It wouldn’t do to have him see her unnerved by his presence. Once she felt a little more in control of herself, she came out of the barn to stand on the other side of his truck, looking under the tarp to see all that it covered. “You didn’t have to do this. I would have gotten it hauled up here when I had the chance…,” she stated, trying to be casual about it. She didn’t like the fact that she felt indebted to him for doing her a favor. 

He raised an eyebrow, “According to Cody, you don’t have a truck anymore. When he came to see me a few weeks ago, he ‘strongly’ suggested I stop by and pick this stuff up from the hardware store.” Matt stood on the other side of the bed of the truck, looking her over. She looked a bit rumpled this morning, dusty from cleaning out the barn and had a piece of old straw stuck out of the neck of her shirt. The pictures Cody had taken though didn’t really do her justice. The difference between the first time he’d seen her two months ago and now was a stark contrast. She looked much healthier, perhaps…happier.

There was a slight sigh of resignation, “Is this what it feels like to have a ‘little brother’?” she asked him, looking up at him with a slight spark of amusement in her eyes.

“You’ve just now figured out that Cody’s sort of adopted you? Little slow on the uptake there aren’t you?” he teased lightly.

There was a look of rye amusement on her face as she brushed off the front of her shirt and pants with her gloved hands as if just realizing that she must have been covered in dirt from her cleaning. She still missed the piece of hay in her neckline. “Guess I’m just not used to someone else looking out for me is all…”

Matt shrugged a little, “Listen. It’s my day off and I figured I could help you get started on putting this stuff up. Do you know how to hang drywall or caulk the joints or anything?” he asked casually, trying not to sound superior. He was pretty sure her answer would be ‘no’.

There was a slight flush to her face, the heat of embarrassment rising up her neck. “No,” was all she could manage to say.

He nodded, “Come on. I’ll show you. It’s not hard, just takes a careful hand and usually takes two people to hold and secure the drywall into place.” With that, he moved to the back of the truck as he pulled on a pair of leather gloves he’d tugged from his back pocket. He dropped the tailgate and pulled a couple of rolls of insulation out. “Don’t touch this stuff without gloves…,” was all he said as he handed her the first roll.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Lying on her back on the top of the porch steps, Clara looked through the front door and up at the ceiling of the cabin. Matt sat next to her, sipping at a glass of water and was leaning back on one elbow. 

“Not bad for a day’s work,” he stated, looking over at her out of the corner of his eye.

She shrugged with a slight smile on her lips. “True. But the next time you drop a box of screws on the floor, I’m going to make you be the one to go around and pick them up…”

Matt raised an eyebrow, “Hey, I was the one holding the piece of drywall up. If you want to do that while I pick up the screws, be my guest,” he shot back. He wasn’t willing to admit that though it had been an accident, he’d enjoyed the ‘view’ from the top of the scaffolding as he ‘worked’ to hold the drywall in place until she could get enough screws gathered up so they could continue working. 

She gave a rather unladylike snort but didn’t say anything else.

Matt stared out at the trees surrounding the cabin and listened to the wind whispering through them. His mind was full of questions to ask her about her past. They’d talked on and off during the day about his time growing up, going to school and how he became a Ranger. During those discussions, she’d never offered any information about herself. In his experience, most people usually offered up some example of their own lives when you talked about the past like that. She hadn’t and it made him even more curious. 

“So Clara, what happened to you after you left here that last summer you spent with Jake?” he asked finally. His words were met with silence but he’d seen her body tense out of the corner of his eye. Turning his head to look at her, she was still staring up at the ceiling inside but gone was the relaxed state she’d been in earlier. 

“Life…happened I guess. I was a kid growing up in a big city. Mom and dad didn’t think I needed to go up and see Jake any more…that I didn’t have time with all my other activities they had me doing. I begged them to let me come back but when you’re a kid, I guess it doesn’t really matter what ‘you’ want. Parents think they know what’s best.” Her words sounded bitter, even to her own ears. “I was forced to grow up too quickly. They wanted a perfect miniature replica of themselves to fit their perfect life at the time.”

Matt watched as she shifted and sat up, her face turned away from him somewhat. “But once you graduated from high school, then what?”

Her blue eyes turned to look at him with a look that reminded him of an angry, trapped animal. She got up off the porch and walked away from him, stuffing her hands in her jean pockets. “Look, I don’t want to talk about it Matt. It’s in my past and I want to forget about it, ok? So please, don’t ask me about it.” She looked back at the cabin. “I think I’ve got the basics of caulking and finishing things. I really appreciated you bringing everything up here today and helping me out. It was a big help.”

Matt stood up, watching her walk a ways off. He knew a dismissal when he heard one. He ground his teeth a little in frustration. She’d shut down on him over a few simple questions. He had only wanted answers and instead he got vague comments and then told not to ask about it. What was she hiding? What had happened to her in the last fifteen years to make her not want to talk about any of it? His mind tried to come up with a list of things that were common things such as sexual abuse or worse but he’d seen how she was normally when not cornered and she didn’t show any of the signs or symptoms that were usually present in someone who had been abused in some form or fashion for an extended period of time. Granted, each case was different but the indicators they were taught to look for weren’t there other than her avoidance to talk about things.

Sighing, he walked down the steps of the porch and headed to his truck. Before he opened his truck door, he turned to look at her. “Look, I’m sorry Clara. I was just curious, that’s all. I’m off in the afternoon the day after tomorrow. I can come up and help you finish if you’d like,” he offered.

Clara looked over at him, “Actually I’m supposed to be at your dads getting my first lesson in how to cut wood. Guess I have a lot of catching up to do this year to get ready for winter,” she said, frowning slightly.

Matt raised an eyebrow, “I’d say ‘Good Luck’ but I know my dad all too well…so I guess I can only offer my condolences now.”

She snorted, a touch of a smile on her lips as she turned to watch him leave. Matt smirked and opened his truck door, sliding in. He decided it was time to leave before he upset her again since he was hoping to he’d be allowed to come back again…soon. 

TBC ---


	9. Chapter 9

The sun was just beginning to crest the horizon when the sound of horses hooves could be heard coming into the open yard around Clara’s cabin. No life stirred yet about the place as Cody and Jesse got down out of their saddles and led their horses over to the front porch. The air was still cool but summer was upon them and within an hour the heat of the day would begin to set in at this elevation.

Walking up to her door, Jesse knocked, waited and then knocked again, calling out to his ‘neighbor’. “Clara. It’s Jesse. You in there?”

Cody stood on the steps of the porch and waited, hands in his jeans pockets. “You have to admit dad, we are a bit early and when she left our place two days ago, she was still pretty worn out from her lesson in log splitting.” There was a smirk on Cody’s face, thinking about how Jesse had worked Clara in teaching her how to cut wood, split logs and all that was entailed in that kind of hard knocks education his dad was famous for. Jesse always figured that you learned best with a bit of 'hands on' learning. The lesson was much more memorable if you did it rather than just watched it being done.

When no sound came from the cabin, Jesse tried the door and found it unlocked. Opening it slowly, he stepped inside and looked around. From the evidence of the state of things, she had worked late the previous night to finish the ceiling. The smell of fresh drywall compound scented the air and the scaffolding was still in place, several lanterns hanging from it. The tools Matt had let her borrow were gathered up on the floor in a crate, clean and ready to be returned. 

Looking up, Cody gave a low whistle. “Wow. Looks nice.” Saying nothing else, he walked towards the room he knew Clara was using as her bedroom. The door was half open and upon peeking in, he saw that she was sprawled face first into the cot, sound asleep with her arms hung over the sides. She was dressed in a t-shirt, her lower half covered in a blanket. Her face had speckles of white as well as a bit of drywall dust in her hair from her late night project.

Stepping inside the room, he went over to her. Squatting down next to her, he spoke up. “Clara, wake up.”

The response he got was a groan and she shifted her head so she faced away from him.

Reaching out, he touched her shoulder and shook it gently. “Claaa-rrraaa…,” he said in a bit of a sing song tone. “Time to get up.”

One of the hands hanging over the edge of the cot made a half hearted attempt to slap at him. “Goowwayyy…,” came the grumble.

Cody chuckled and stood up, walking out of the room and went over to his dad. “She’s not waking up. Even told me to go away.”

Jesse raised an eyebrow, “Oh? Well we need her to get up soon if we’re going to get her things today…,” he said with a slight chuckle. “I’m sure once you get her up and explain it to her, she’ll be quite happy about it.”

It was Cody’s turn to raise an eyebrow, “Oh, so I’m supposed to get her up. Gee, thanks dad,” he said with a slightly sarcastic tone to his voice. “How do you propose I do that?”

Jesse shrugged as he headed towards the door to go back outside, “Use your imagination son. I’m sure you’ll think of something. But make it quick. Daylight’s wasting.” 

Cody’s eyes were wide as he stared after his father. He turned back to look through the bedroom door at Clara sleeping on the camp cot. Moving back into the room he tried once more to get her awake by normal means but was met with the same amount of success as the first time. As he stood there and watched her sleep an idea began to form in his mind.

Making his way out to the kitchen he quickly found what he was looking for and within moments had returned to where she slept. Biting his lip to keep him from chuckling, he thought about how he’d always wanted to do this to Matt but never dared. He just wondered how Clara would react to this and how ‘dead’ he’d be when all was said and done.

Standing several feet away, he positioned himself so that he could run out the door if he needed to. Calling out to her one last time and still getting no response, he hefted the pan of water by the handle and tipped it out over her head. The cold water poured out, splashing down in a great rush over her head and neck, spraying down over her back.

There was a split second where he heard the sudden intake of air and then a scream of pure surprise was followed by sputtering gasps. Cody watched in amazement as Clara went from sound asleep to fully awake in two seconds as she suddenly scrambled to get off the cot and away from the freezing cold water that had come from the pump in the kitchen. 

What he wasn’t prepared for was the fact that she was dressed only in a now wet t-shirt and her underwear. She stood on the other side of the cot, chest heaving, her hair soaking wet as she shuddered and as her eyes fell on Cody, they flashed with sudden fury. Cody could only stand there for a moment, caught by the sight of what he was seeing and felt his face suddenly flush a hot burning red. 

“CODY!!! I’m going to KILL YOU!” she screamed as she dove after him.

Unable to take his eyes off of Clara, Cody stumbled backwards towards the door as he dropped the pan, a loud clanging sound echoing in the empty room. Finding himself tongue-tied and unable to even stammer out an apology, he managed to back-peddle through the bedroom door before turning and quickly heading for the front door. As he looked over his shoulder to see if she had followed him, he stumbled when he saw that she had and he turned his head back around just in time to miss hitting the front door that stood half open. Diving around it, he felt the cool morning air hit his flushed cheeks, pretty sure in the knowledge that Clara wouldn’t follow him outside dressed as she was. He hit the porch and leapt down the three steps to the ground below just in time to see his father step out from behind the horses. Jesse was carrying a thermos and a paper bag that they had packed with breakfast for Clara. 

Cody stopped just short of running into his dad and turned around, his eyes going wide upon seeing Clara come to a halt at the top of her porch steps. From the look in her eyes he wasn’t sure of his safety if she got a hold of him at this moment. Looking over his shoulder at his dad he tried to explain, “Well…at least she’s awake.”

“I can see that son, but I hope you haven’t just made an enemy for life either. Women don’t take kindly to being doused with freezing cold water in the morning,” Jesse said as he raised an eyebrow, looking in Clara’s direction.

“Cody! WHAT THE HELL do you think you are doing?!” yelled Clara from the porch.

“Getting you up! You wouldn’t wake up and we needed you to get up…so we could go get your furniture today,” responded Cody, trying not to ‘stare’ too hard at the scantily clad woman before them and yet unable to keep his eyes off of her.

That brought her up short, “My…what? I don’t have any furniture and you know I don’t have the money to even buy second-hand.” Her voice was still raised in an angry shout but it was laced with a tinge of confusion. 

She was shivering and she moved to wrap her arms around her chest and it was about then that she realized as she looked down at herself that she wasn’t really fully dressed. With a look of anger and complete embarrassment all rolled into one, she glared up at Cody. Uncrossing her arms, she thrust her fists against her hips. “Get a good look. It might be the last thing you ever see before I kill you…,” and with that, turned and stomped back into the cabin muttering something about wanting to castrate teenage boys.

Cody turned to look at Jesse, who raised an eyebrow. “Hey, you told me to use my imagination. I tried to get her up the normal way and she wouldn’t budge…so I did what you told me to do,” he said as he gestured to where Clara had just been standing, dripping wet.

Jesse let out a little sigh and rubbed his beard. “Come on. The least you could do is give her the coffee and breakfast we made her…then you can clean up the soggy mess you just made,” said Jesse as he lightly slapped Cody in the back of the head. “And then you might want to come out and saddle her horse.” He loved his son and he guessed he could only be glad that they didn’t live in town or he might be fishing Cody out of all sorts of good natured mischief. It was at moments like these that he wondered if maybe Matt was right and Cody would benefit from being around people...then he shook his head and decided he really liked Cody just the way he was, idiot moments and all.

TBC ---


	10. Chapter 10

Upon arriving at Running Fox’s place, Jesse and Cody had left her to talk with their old friend as they rode the horses over to the Ranger Station to stable them for the day or two this endeavor would take. They had promised to return with a truck, horse trailer and an extra set of hands to help begin loading furniture. But until that time, she had been left alone with a man she barely remembered from the few times he’d visited Jake when she had been staying with him those long ago summers.

Clara stood next to Running Fox in front of his old storage shed, staring at the large plastic sheet covered mounds inside of the doors. All thoughts of revenge upon Cody for the rude awakening that morning had been forgotten when the old man had opened the doors and she’d realized slowly what she was looking at. With one final sideways look at Running Fox she moved forward and grabbed the first sheet of plastic and carefully began to pull it off. Dust and bird feathers, along with old droppings puffed up from it as she pulled it out into the open. The next couple required her to cut the tape away that held them together. 

Within a few minutes she caught the first glimpse of furniture and things she hadn't seen in fifteen years. When as much of the plastic as she could reach was removed she turned and looked at Running Fox with a guarded expression. 

“Why would you haul all of his stuff down here and store it all these years?” she asked him carefully.

Running Fox turned his weathered face towards her. He hadn't helped her pull the plastic off, only stood there and watched her, his arms crossed over his chest, looking pleased about something. “Why indeed,” he responded. “Jake Rodgers was my friend and his death was a great loss to these mountains. It was the least I could do to honor his memory.”

Raising an eyebrow, she looked at the large amount of stuff packed from floor to ceiling in this storage shed. “Uh huh...and hauling everything down off the mountain and storing it for God-knows-how- ever-many-years-it-might-be, taking up valuable storage space and getting nothing in return is a way of honoring his memory?”

The old Indian smiled at her in an almost cryptic way. “I knew you would return to us some day. I promised Jake before he died I would keep his things safe for you until that day. I keep my promises.”

She chewed on her lip for a few moments as she turned and looked back at things, seeing the seat of an old favorite bench that used to sit by the back door where she would sit and take her shoes off...the top of the hutch where he would store the candy jar out of her reach. The memories at the sight of things surprised her as she got little glimpses within the darkened interior. 

Dreading the answer to her next question, she still had to ask it. “So how much do I owe you for storing all of this stuff? I mean, it's taken up all of this space for these last eight years. I'm sure you could have been using this space for other things.” She didn’t have much cash left but she could probably make a deal with him or sell off a few pieces of the furniture to cover the cost. It was her experience that no one ever did anything for free. There was always a hidden cost to everything. Even with Jesse and Cody; she might be learning from them and they might be feeding and housing her to an extent but she was working as she learned, lending an extra set of hands … or trying, at least, to help with chores and projects around their cabin. It may never be enough to truly repay them for all they had done but she knew that everything came at a price...even 'free' advice.

Running Fox turned to look at her with those deep set brown eyes. He studied her face for a very long time and then exhaled slowly. “There is no cost, no fee, no charge. I did this because I said I would, because Jake was my friend and because he wanted to leave something for you to have. Life must have been very hard where you came from if you look for the cost of something that is given freely.”

She frowned slightly. “Where I came from, nothing was for free. There was no such thing as free. If someone said they were doing something for free, there was always a hidden cost somewhere.” She flushed then, realizing her words sounded bitter even to her own ears and that she had, in a way, snapped at the old man. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so rude...,” she tried to apologize.

He held up a hand to silence her and there was a sad look on his face. “Clara, you will learn soon enough that in these mountains, we do things differently. We take care of each other and do not count the cost of favors. Help is always there for the asking so long as the asking is not abused and the offer to help is extended in return when it can be. We have all been on hard times once or twice in our lives. It is not shameful to ask for help. It's only foolish when help is needed and not asked for.”

She would have said more but Jaime came out of their trailer holding several steaming coffee cups, followed by a handsome Native American woman who held a coffee cup of her own. Jaime came over to hand her one of the steaming mugs of rich brown liquid and began to make introductions to his mother.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Jimmy hefted up an end of an end table with Clara picking up the other end as she stifled a yawn. “Oh come on!” he said as he grinned, “I’m not ‘that’ boring am I?” 

Clara flushed a little, embarrassed she’d been caught in the act. “No! Sorry. I had a late night and a rather early ‘wakeup call’ this morning.”

“Ooo she blushes so prettily. Hey Cody! Why didn’t you tell me she blushed such a nice shade of red,” he called out as he teased Clara mercilessly while they walked the end table over towards the horse trailer. He laughed a little harder as he was rewarded with a brighter shade of pink to her cheeks. He’d been chatting Clara up all morning, flirting with her on and off as they worked and she’d met most of his flirting with exasperated smiles or rolled eyes.

Cody looked over from the back of the truck where he and Matt were working to get a bed frame strapped in. He grinned over at Jimmy but looked down to see Matt frowning towards his fellow Ranger. “Is someone jealous?” he teased his brother in a quiet tone meant for Matt’s ears only.

Matt started a little and swung his head around to glare at Cody, “What? No. Why would I be?” He went back to securing the ropes to the truck bed, giving the frame a shake to see if it would move. When no reply came from Cody he looked upward at him only to find him grinning slyly down at him.

“I think you are. You’re jealous. You want to be the one to be making Clara blush, not Jimmy,” said Cody in a low voice, bent slightly forward to speak to Matt but just far enough away to be out of immediate reach if his brother decided he didn’t like where the conversation was going and wanted to retaliate. 

Matt’s jaw clenched and worked a little. “You don’t know what you’re talking about Cody,” he grumbled under his breath. “Get down out of there and go help dad,” he half snapped at Cody as he walked away from the truck, leaving Cody to stare after his brother.

Cody could only watch his brother’s retreating hunched shoulders and let a sly smile spread over his face as he thought about how his big brother was falling for Clara, even though he didn’t want to admit it. Jumping out of the bed of the truck, he trotted over towards his dad and began helping loading boxes of god-knew-what into the back of the second truck.

From across the driveway came Clara’s half mock-growling voice out of the back of the trailer. “Jimmy, I’m gonna kick your ass if you say one more word a….” The rest was lost with the sound of a thud and Jimmy laughing like a mad man followed by the sounds of his feet thudding on the bottom of the half full horse trailer as he ran out the back of it, a huge grin on his face.

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That night found the packed trucks and horse trailers sitting outside of the ranger station while the ‘movers’ milled about the inside, either helping with cleanup from supper or waiting for their turn at a hot shower to soak sore muscles.

“Man, I thought I was fit with all the rescue work and stuff we do around here but damn, I ache in places I didn’t know I could ache in,” moaned Jimmy from where he lay sprawled on one of the couches.

“Well we know your lips must not be too sore since you’re still flapping them,” came the scathing retort from the kitchen, courtesy of Clara who was now trying to give back as much grief as Jimmy had been giving her all day.

That brought the work in the kitchen to a near stop as Robin and Avila broke out into howls of laughter at the bark of indignant “Ouch!” that echoed back from the couch.

Matt had taken himself off to bed early after having a quick bite of supper since he would was on-call for the night shift. Cody knew for a fact that Matt could have stayed up later and hung out with everyone but he had been in an off mood since Jimmy had begun flirting with Clara. Cody would have said Matt was sulking but he didn’t think a grown man would ‘sulk’ so maybe it was ‘regrouping’ for another shot at things tomorrow? Matt had taken the on-call night shift for the next two nights so he could have tomorrow off to help Clara move in.

He hoped Clara realized what kind of sacrifice it was for Matt to be working the on-call night shift just so he could help her out. Cody figured he’d help out by giving her a little nudge tomorrow and let her know that she should at least thank him. At least Jimmy wouldn’t be helping out tomorrow so maybe things would be a little less tense with Matt tomorrow and they’d have a chance to have a little fun while they were at it.

As Cody waited for Jesse to get done in the shower so he could have his turn, he sat back in one of the office chairs flipping through a magazine that someone had left out. He idly listened to the others banter back and forth still giving Jimmy grief now and then. Lost in his own thoughts, he didn’t hear someone come up behind him until a picture frame holding the best of the three pictures of Clara come into view over the top of his head.

“Care to explain how this picture came to be on your brother’s office wall?” came a slightly ‘neutral’ voice.

He swallowed and looked up. Jimmy was sitting up on the couch and looking in his direction with avid interest while Frank and Robin both stood in the kitchen door, wondering where this ‘confrontation’ was going to lead.

“Uhm…,” he stalled. Oh crap. He’d never thought about what she might do if she found out about the photo but apparently she’d seen it on Matt’s office wall or someone had spilled the beans. “You didn’t tell me I ‘couldn’t’ take your picture…,” he hazarded.

There was silence from behind him as she remained standing there holding the picture in front of him. He turned slightly in his chair to look up at her. “I never said you couldn’t take my picture but you never asked if it was ok to hand out prints of it,” Clara said, schooling her features to look ‘unreadable’.

Cody swallowed, “Well, if it’s any consolation, he’s got the only print…,” he said, hoping his goose wasn’t cooked.

“…so far,” she finished for him. She took the picture away from in front of him and looked at it for a few moments. Finally she raised an eyebrow slightly, “You know, it’s not half bad. Your shutter speed was set just right and the angle wasn’t bad. Personally I’d have gotten it from a bit of a higher vantage point but then again, that’s just me.” She looked back down at Cody from around the picture frame with a slightly ‘amused’ smile then quickly scowled, “But don’t let me catch you giving this out to anyone else…especially Jimmy. He’d ruin it with drool marks alone.”

It was all Cody could do to keep a straight face and shake his head ‘no’ in promise to her request. The look on Jimmy’s face alone was priceless as Availa and Robin had to scuttle back into the kitchen before bursting out into another round of laughter. Jimmy scrambled up off the couch and went into the kitchen to get in on the ‘gossip’ that would inevitably start up the moment the other two Rangers stopped laughing.

As soon as Jimmy was out of sight, Cody felt an arm snake around his neck from behind and felt Clara’s lips next to his ear. “Don’t think I have forgotten your little ‘wakeup call’ this morning. Along with this…,” she said, wiggling the picture frame, “…you are soooo going to get it one of these days,” she said before she kissed his cheek and then walked away to put the picture back on Matt’s office wall.

He turned and looked after her, swallowing a little in nervousness as he wondered just what she might do to him some day to get even.

TBC ---


	11. Chapter 11

The morning had started out bright and clear, the sun shining warmly down on the moving party as it began the arduous task of unloading two large trailers and two overloaded trucks full of furniture and boxes into the cabin and barn. But by noon, the storm clouds that hung over two areas of the work party did not bode well for a favorable outcome in the afternoon.

Clara glared daggers at Matt on and off all morning after he’d started the whole shooting match with a snippy comment about ‘Well why didn’t she just have Jimmy do it…’ when she’d light heartedly complained about having to unpack all of the boxes being drug into the house. This had startled her and set her hackles up. Then the fight was on. She snapped at him a time or two and he’d fire another comment back about her preferring Jimmy to do this or that.

Hart, who had volunteered to use his day off to come up and help out, kept well out of range when Clara and Matt were within firing distance of each other. Jesse and Cody had exchanged a few significant glances and when Jesse had tried to pull Matt to the side to get him to relax, Matt had ignored him. Cody had found the whole thing amusing as hell and after getting Hart alone for a few moments in one of the trailers, they began taking bets on whether Clara would take a swing at Matt or not.

With the trucks almost all unloaded and the trailers half way there, Jesse decided to take matters into his own hands. He gave Cody and Hart significant looks that told them to make themselves absent for awhile and while Matt and Clara were busy taking boxes into the cabin, Jesse took the mattress still left in the back of the truck and toppled it over the boxes that were left in the back, making it so that it had to be removed before anything else could be moved. It was of the size and shape that would require two people to man handle it into the cabin. With that done, Jesse walked off to the back of the trailer where he sat on one of the chairs found inside and waited.

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Clara came out of the cabin and saw the mattress had tipped over in the back of the truck, landing on the few boxes left. It was one of those old mattresses that was bulky and heavy, made from heavier materials than the newer ones were. She’d either have to wrestle it back up into place and hope it stayed or get someone to help her move it inside before she could finish unloading the rest of the boxes.

Her mind filled with dark thoughts for a moment as she went around to the tailgate and climbed up into the bed of the truck to try and lift it up. Matt was being an ass for no reason that she could see other than maybe jealousy. He kept bringing up things her and Jimmy had joked about yesterday and it boggled her mind that he was possibly jealous over the fact that Jimmy had flirted with her. It wasn’t like she’d flirted back or given any indication she was ‘interested’ in him but she didn’t know what Matt’s problem was.

As she struggled with the unwieldy mattress, Matt came out of the cabin and spotted her trying to maneuver the bulky thing. He came over and grabbed the other side of it and gave it a pull. Not expecting it to suddenly move, she staggered a little. “Dammit!” she snapped at him. “You could have warned me!”

“Get down from there and help me carry this in…,” he growled at her.

“Yes SIR,” she snarled right back at him. Jumping down out of the back of the truck, she reached up and grabbed a hold of the one side and gave it a yank to dislodge it from the back of the truck and staggered under its weight as Matt adjusted his side and tilted it so they could get it through the cabin’s front door. 

Being non-too-gentle with his handling of things, Matt pulled on it as he walked backwards, causing her to stumble several times as she tried to keep up with him. Her temper continued to smolder hotter until it was fanned into flames when he entered the bedroom just off the living room and dumped it on the floor with no warning at all. Still having a hold on one side, Clara felt herself stagger and go down to her knees, barking her shins on the hardwood floors.

“DAMMIT!” she yelled as she struggled to get back up to her feet. “THAT’S IT! I’ve had it with you! What the HELL is your problem Matthew Hawkes?” she snarled, going after him, blocking his exit out of the bedroom door.

“What do you mean, ‘what’s my problem’? I’m up here working my ass off and you’ve done nothing but be a bitch…,” he snapped back at her.

“Now wait just a minute. I have done nothing today but try to be nice. You’re the one that’s been snipping at me with little cracks about Jimmy this and Jimmy that, ‘Let Jimmy do it’ and ‘Why not let Jimmy handle it’ and all that crap! If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were jealous,” she said, pushing a hand into his chest as she worked to back him up a pace. “So the way I see it, you’re the one who started this whole mess. I don’t take kindly to being snipped at.”

Matt ground his teeth in frustration. His feelings were a mashed up jumble inside. He had wanted to get to know Clara a little better and yet Jimmy yesterday had been flirting with her and she’d been chatting with him and joking around. She’d hardly even looked at him the day before. She’d gotten one good look at Jimmy and he’d not even had a chance.

His silence made Clara scowl, “What? Do you think just because he was flirting with me that I took him seriously? For Christ sake Matt…I’m not any more interested in Jimmy than I am the man in the moon.” She continued to advance on him, “But he talked to me yesterday…you didn’t! You scowled and frowned at the two of us the entire afternoon.” She poked him in the chest with every word for emphasis.

Matt stared down at her as she spoke, “You could have talked to me or something. But you ignored me like I was nothing more than something insignificant to you…,” he tried to counter. He cringed inside to hear himself. God, did he really just say that? He sounded like a whining little kid having a temper tantrum.

Clara’s mouth dropped open, “I don’t believe you! MEN!” she said, throwing her hands up. “I just had found out that all of my Uncles things were still intact and that no, I wasn’t going to have to spend a winter sitting on a cold wooden floor or sleeping on a camp cot. I’d had only a few hours of sleep the night before because I’d been up trying to finish the ceiling like you’d shown me to do. Then your dad and brother came by and woke me up to drag me down to Running Fox’s place…I was tired, I was overwhelmed. If it hadn’t been for Jimmy’s teasing and joking all afternoon, I probably would have found a place to sit down and fallen asleep.” She looked Matt up and down, “Besides, why the hell would I want to come over and talk to someone who was scowling at me like I’d just committed some mortal sin.”

Matt had to admit she had a point but it still rubbed him wrong. His jaw worked as he tried to think of some way to snap back or say something that would sooth his hurt feelings or make her feel as miserable as he did at that moment. But he couldn’t think of anything. He looked away from her to stare out the bedroom door and that’s when he felt his legs kicked out from under him and felt himself fall backwards, off balance by a well placed punch to the stomach. He landed on the mattress they’d just hauled in and he grunted as his ass connected with it.

“What the hell…was that for?” he gasped as a hand grabbed at his sore stomach.

“That’s for being such a jerk…,” she said, looking near tears as she turned and stomped out of the bedroom, her footsteps echoing out of the cabin.

Matt sat there for a few moments, absently rubbing his abdomen as he realized he’d been acting like such an ass. He looked up as a shadow crossed the doorway to the bedroom and saw his dad leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest and he just knew he was going to be getting a little ‘lesson in life’ from him…as if the punch to the gut hadn’t already been lesson enough.

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Cody held out his hand to Hart, “Pay up. Told you she’d take a swing at him.” 

Hart grimaced and fished out a ten dollar bill from his jeans pocket and slapped it in Cody’s open palm. “Robin’s right. You are such a brat…,” he joked with a slight smile.

They’d been watching to the side of the bedroom window the entire confrontation and had seen Clara head for the barn as she’d left the cabin. 

Hart pulled Cody away from the window when Jesse had leaned against the doorframe of the bedroom door to speak with Matt. This was something the ‘little brother’ didn’t need to witness anyway and besides, there were more boxes to move. When he let go of Cody’s shoulder, the kid started to move towards the barn.

“I’d leave her be for a little while Cody. Now would not be a good time to be around her. Let her cool down for a bit,” offered Hart in a way as if imparting a bit of ‘wisdom’. 

Cody hesitated, looking torn between wanting to go to Clara’s side and wanting to take Harts advice. Finally he decided that Hart might be right and the two of them began to empty the rest of the boxes from the back of the second truck. 

TBC ---


	12. Chapter 12

Clara sat in the shadows of the hay loft, looking out at the view the open door gave. It faced the open mountain range and from where she sat she was hidden from the outside world. That’s just how she wanted it right now. Her head was swimming with thoughts of the revelations of that ‘discussion’ with Matt. 

He had feelings for her in a way she hadn’t realized. How could he? They’d only seen each other a few times before now and had spent a total of maybe twelve hours in each other’s company. She knew she had feelings for him yet her mind rebelled against that. She’d been betrayed before and she wasn’t willing to open herself up again to heartache and pain, even betrayal again. She couldn’t, at least not right now. Maybe someday she might allow herself to open up again to someone but not right now. 

She sat there for a bit longer, staring off at the mountains and trying to untangle all of the feelings she had jumbled up inside. The last two days had been a whirlwind of activity and she’d had little time to sit down and digest any of what had been happening to her. She knew she needed to go back down and help move more of the boxes and furniture inside but she just couldn’t bring herself to see the others right now.

The sound of someone on the ladder leading up to the hayloft made her tense and she buried her face against her sore knees that had been pulled up to her chest. She’d just wanted a little time alone, that’s all. She heard someone grunt a little as they climbed into the hayloft and heard the sound of boots walking across the boards towards her.

She felt something metallic and cool lay against her shoulder, “Jesse thought you might need a drink of water,” came the unfamiliar voice of the Ranger they’d introduced as Tim Hart.

Clara opened her eyes, looked to the side and spotted the canteen that he was holding out to her, having touched her shoulder with it. Absently, she reached up and took it from him, uncapped it and took a long drink of the cool water inside. It soothed her dry throat and she suddenly realized how thirsty she was. She took a few more long sips and then put the cap back on.

“Thanks,” she said quietly. “I suppose I better get back down there to help,” she said as she started to rise, her shines still hurting a little.

Hart put a staying hand on her shoulder as he sat down on the floor himself, facing out the open door like she had, “No. Jesse and his boys are taking care of it,” he offered in way of explanation. “There’s nothing more than just boxes and a few odds and end pieces of furniture. We’ve already moved all of the big stuff in.” 

She blinked as she settled back down, “But that hardly seems fair, them doing all of the work.”

Hart looked at her from the corner of his eyes, “That’s just the way they are,” he said with a shrug.

Frowning slightly, Clara sighed a little. Again, there was that whole issue of feeling obligated to pay someone back for their time…or looking for the hidden cost of the services rendered. 

“You from around here?” she asked out of the blue. The few times she’d heard him speak, he’d not sounded like he was from the mountains and his speech patterns were more …eastern sounding.

He shook his head and smiled. “Would you believe I was born and raised in Brooklyn. I’m a New Yorker.”

She blinked and then grinned, “Really? LA myself. You must really feel out of place out here,” she said, trying to sound casual.

Hart shrugged, “Not so much anymore. I came out to Reno to go to school, figured a change in scenery would be nice when I went for my criminal justice degree. After I graduated I started looking for a job in this general area. While I was in school I’d fallen in love with these mountains and this area. When a position became available on the Rangers team, I applied. It was hard getting in but I passed the application and training process and I’ve been here ever since.”

Clara listened intently, “But I mean, you’re just so far away from any big city life and things are so foreign compared to where you grew up at.”

Hart grinned, “Sure it’s different. But no one is shooting at me the moment I step out of the front door. I can walk down any street in Tahoe at night and feel safe. I can go up to just about anybody here and ask for help and they’ll give it, no questions asked and never ask for anything in return.”

Clara jerked a little. The words of Running Fox came echoing back at her from the day before. “I just don’t get that. I mean…nothing is ever for free. There’s always a hidden cost somewhere. You grew up with it just like I did, living in the big city. No one ever does anything for anyone for free without some form of hidden cost…,” she said but stopped speaking when she saw Hart’s head shaking and a slight smile on his lips.

“Not out here. Out here, you’re so far away from the ‘norm’ that at times, you have no choice but to depend on others. And the people up here give their help freely. Granted you occasionally find a hermit or cranky mountain man who would rather shoot you than say boo to you but they are few and far between…,” said Hart with a twinkle in his eyes. “But really, that’s just the way it is up here. You either learn that or you don’t survive. If you keep looking for the hidden cost of help freely given, people might stop offering it when you need it the most. The most important thing to learn though is that we all have to rely on one another. Some day someone may need your help. Just be willing to give it as freely as someone gave it to you some other time. If you want to put a cost to something, that’s what it would be. Give as good as you get. When you get help, be prepared to give it back as good as you got it to the person that gave it to you or to someone else that may need it just as badly. Make sense?” he asked.

Clara was very quiet as she stared at him for a long moment. Finally she nodded slowly. “I think so. It’s just…so different than the way I was raised.”

Hart nodded, “I know. It took a lot of getting used to for me too. But after awhile, you stop thinking about it and just accept it.”

She took another drink from the canteen and smiled at Hart. “Thanks….”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Shortly after their discussion Hart took off in one of the trucks, hauling an empty horse trailer back to the ranger station. He was on night shift and he was going to need some sleep before he had to monitor the phones starting at midnight. 

Clara watched him leave and returned to the back of the last remaining trailer to pick up one of the few boxes left in the far back corner. Hauling it inside, she set it down and looked around at the stacks of boxes around pieces of furniture placed willy-nilly. She knew it was so she could decide how she wanted to set up the cabin but it still made for a lot of work once everything was inside. 

Cody passed her with a grin and headed back out to the trailer, reappearing a few moments later with two boxes that he set down next to her. “Well, that’s it,” he said, brushing his hands off on his jeans.

Matt and Jesse were busy in the upstairs bedroom putting together the frame of a spare bed though she had a feeling it was partially to keep Matt out of her line of sight for a little while longer.

Clara turned to Cody with a smile. “Thanks.” She looked back around the cabin and then her eyes fell upon something she had forgotten about until that moment. Walking slowly over to it, she shifted the boxes away from the front of it and took the box off the top before running her hands over the dust covered surface.

“What’s that?” asked Cody, who had followed behind her out of curiosity.

“Jakes old Victrola,” she replied in quiet tones. “God…the memories this brings back.” She slowly lifted the lid and propped it open with the metal rod inside. Sitting just like the last day she’d seen it was the arm with the needle attached to it, secured to its pedestal. A record sat securely on the felt around the spindle in the center. Reaching in with trembling hands, she picked up the record off the spindle and looked at the title.

Flipping it over, she quickly put it back down on the spindle and reaching into the back of the lid, she pulled out the crank arm that was secured there with the little clamps. Cody watched with interest as she stuck it in the hole in the side of the tall, square box and began to turn it until it made a clacking sound at her. She stopped winding and reaching over she flipped a lever next to the record then gave the edge of the turn table a spin with her fingers.

Carefully lifting the head and needle, she set it down on the edge of the record. From the front of the Victrola came the scratchy sound of the beginning of the record followed by the instant sound of trumpets and horns blasting out a melody. 

Cody watched all of this in fascination and when the first notes of music issued forth from the record player, he saw a tremor roll through her body as if she’d been shocked. He knew the style of music the band was playing but didn’t know the song or the name of the band. The transformation though to Clara’s face was amazing. She’d gone from tense and apprehensive to suddenly relaxed and energized. Her foot began tapping out the beat to the fast tempo music and she closed her eyes for a minute. He wondered if she was remembering a time fifteen years ago when she was up here with Jake…and happy.

Clara opened her eyes and looked at Cody. “Glen Miller. In The Mood. My favorite. Uncle Jake taught me how to dance the Jitter Bug to it,” she offered up to him then, explaining a few things without him having to ask. 

“Anyone ever teach you how to dance?” she asked him suddenly.

He blinked in surprise and shook his head, “No. Don’t think I’d be any good at it,” he said, trying to come up with an excuse as to why he’d never tried. Of course living with one’s dad made it kind of hard to learn how to dance.

“Ah, well then it’s about time you learned,” she said with an impish grin. Grabbing Cody’s hand, she pulled him out into the middle of the living room floor that was still empty of any furniture or rugs. “The Jitter Bug is a pretty fast paced dance but pretty open, not very structured. Steps are pretty easy. Like this…,” 

She turned herself so she was along side of him and began a simple step pattern forward and back with one foot then the other. Cody did his best to imitate but he just wasn’t sure if this was really his cup of tea. She worked to get him to relax and have a little fun, while she worked him around the room with the simple steps. He had a feeling that it was probably more complicated than what she was showing him but at least she was going easy on him.

The record had moved onto another song as they continued to dance and finally the record came to an end. Grinning, she moved over to the Victrola and gave the arm another round of cranks to wind it up and turned the table again, setting the needle down on the edge of the record. When she turned around she came face to chest with Matt.

Looking up at him, she blinked in surprise. “Mind if I have this dance?” he asked her a little sheepishly.

She blinked again and cleared her throat, “I…guess. Do you remember anything Uncle Jake used to teach us?” she temporized, not sure if she wanted to dance with him or not. Jake had taught both her and Matt when she’d been here those few summers as a way to keep them busy and out of trouble.

Matt raised an eyebrow, “Actually Mom made me take some dance lessons when we moved to town and our football coach, of all people, made the team take dance lessons. Said it would help us with our footing...so yeah, I think I can remember a few. What about you? Think you can keep up?”

Clara gave a snort and reached back, took the needle off, set it back at the beginning of the record and let Matt lead her out to the ‘dance floor’. As the first strains of ‘In The Mood’ began, she felt him take her hand and spin her out, then spin her back in before he led her around the floor, forcing her to follow him step for step, move for move.

Out of the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of Cody and Jesse sitting on the stairs and watching them, a slight smug yet surprised expression on both of their faces. It was only a good thing that she’d had those dance lessons her parents had forced on her or she’d have been hard pressed to keep up with Matt. How he’d remembered all of these years after he was done playing football still left her a bit stunned. Dancing, especially swing or ballroom was something that most people forgot after their basic lessons were over with and didn’t remember much of only a few months afterwards. 

She let him spin her around and she forgot to think about lessons, Jesse or Cody as she focused on the man in front of her. She hadn’t had a dance partner like this in some time and it felt…right. She grinned as she forced him to have to improvise a time or to and when the song came to an end he was finally panting a little. She normally could have kept going but after two long days of hauling boxes and furniture, she had to admit she was worn out as well.

Jesse and Cody clapped from the sidelines and as Jesse got up to take the needle off the record, Matt pulled her a little closer and leaned down to whisper to her.

“I’m sorry about yesterday and today. I was an ass…can you forgive me?” he asked her quietly.

Startled a little, she took a moment to take in his closeness, to feel the pulse of his heartbeat in his hands and got a good look at his green eyes. Finally she nodded, “You’re forgiven,” she whispered back and leaned in, giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek, next to the corner of his mouth.

She saw the slight look of disappointment in his eyes when they parted but he would just have to be happy with that much. It was all she was willing to give at this moment in time. She turned away out of his arms and smiled a little to the other two, “Come on. The least I can do is feed you three after all the work you’ve done….”

TBC ---


	13. Chapter 13

As the weeks slowly passed by, summer months progressing towards crisp fall days, Clara found herself up before the sun and often eating her supper by lamplight and nursing sore muscles before climbing into bed. With no wood at the cabin originally to speak of, she had to start from scratch to put in a supply for the winter. There was plenty of deadfall that had accumulated within the vicinity of the cabin over the past eight years so she didn’t need to go far to find trees ready for cutting. But it was still back breaking, labor intensive work.

Jesse had shown her how to hitch up her two horses with pull harnesses and use them to drag the large cut logs back to the cabin for cutting and splitting later. The brush she’d cleared from branches and underbrush he had made sure she saw how to use it to create places where rabbits and other wildlife could use to nest or den in safely, thus ensuring the continued population of rabbits to keep birds of prey around and as well as put food on Clara’s table.

When the weather wouldn’t cooperate enough to let her get in the yard to saw or split wood, Jesse had taken her hunting in those times, teaching her how to kill, skin and can wild game meat. This had been another lesson of ‘hard knocks’ for Clara who had never killed or skinned anything in her life. After the first few rabbits though she’d managed to handle what needed to be done, knowing she had to do this or starve during the winter. She couldn’t keep relying on anyone else to put food on her table and the pittance that she had left would only go so far. 

As the garden continued to produce vegetables, she used recipes she’d found in her Uncles kitchen books to make sauces and canned everything she didn’t consume. The days began to blur into one another. The only thing that brought a pause to the continual cycle of cutting wood or canning meat and vegetables was when one of the Rangers, Matt or Cody came by to visit. Most of the time it was just in passing as they were heading through the area but she tried to be ‘neighborly’ and offer a meal or something to drink at least.

This was the busy season for the Rangers and though Clara knew Matt was usually very busy, she silently wished he’d come visit a little more often. But from the chatter on the radio and scanner that Jaime’s dad had fixed for her, this year was busier than usual for the Rangers. So she kept to herself and enjoyed his company when he managed to spare a minute to come by. 

It was at times like that though when she was wishing for his company that made her acutely aware of how ‘alone’ she was, no longer surrounded by the press of humanity like she had been in the big city. She was alone, truly alone for the first time in her entire life and on the nights when she found it hard to sleep, those thoughts kept her awake, feeling small and insignificant. Was her freedom from the world she’d escaped from worth the ache of seeing a friendly face, the wish for conveniences of electricity, gas furnaces and the supermarket just down the street? But then her thoughts would turn to what she had run from and she couldn’t help but remind herself that, yes…it had been worth it. She knew she wouldn’t be alone forever. 

She knew that this first year would be the worst and that if she could just get through this first winter, she’d be able to figure out something for next year, something that could help put some money in her pocket to offset the need for canning so much and pinching every little penny. If she could make it through this winter, she’d have all of next year to get in her wood supply in and not just a few short months. She wouldn’t have to work so hard at it and would have more time to do things other than get herself ‘situated’. 

But those lonely nights when the wolves would howl mournfully to one another down in the valley, those were the hardest to bear. Those were the nights when her doubts would return and she would have to fight her demons once again so she could face another day in the hopes of having a better life…tomorrow.

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“Hey Cody!” called Jim from the back door of the station as Cody entered through the front. 

Cody grinned and nodded, “Hey. Where’s Matt?” he asked before Jim could head outside.

“He just took off with Avila and Robin in the chopper. Had to go rescue a couple of climbers that got stuck,” called Jim as he shut the door behind him, obviously heading out to the barn to saddle up to go on a rescue.

Izzy came down from the upstairs and grinned as he saw Cody. “Thought Jimmy was just talking to his imaginary friend again,” Izzy joked, “Glad to see he wasn’t.” 

Cody chuckled, “No. Just thought I’d come down to see what Matt was up to but seems I just missed him…again,” said the young man with a slight frown.

“Yeah, we’ve been so busy this summer Matt’s been tempted to hire a temporary to do some of the basic jobs around the station. But just when he thinks we should, it slacks off just enough that we get caught up…,” Izzy said with a shrug. 

Looking around, Cody noticed something different about the TV sitting in the corner, “What’s that?” he asked pointing to a large box underneath the TV set.

“Cable TV. Matt splurged a little on us. Not that we’ve had much chance to watch anything since we’ve been so busy lately but it’ll be nice to have this winter when things are slow again.” Izzy saw Cody’s interest. “Go ahead and turn it on. It’s pretty cool. Just use the remote and push the channel buttons up or down to go through the channels. Tahoe doesn’t have many stations yet but I hear in some of the bigger cities, they’ve got as many as thirty. I think we get about eleven. The coolest channel that Jimmy loves so far is the one for Music Television called MTV. Been on the air for a several years but this is the first we’ve had a chance to actually watch it.”

Cody wandered over to the TV and picked up the remote, pushed the button that said ‘power’ and watched as the TV sprang to life. He sat down on the couch and looked over the remote with interest. After taking in all of the buttons he began to push the ones marked ‘channel’, flipping from one to another, pausing on one, watching awhile then going to the next one.

Izzy took several calls and dispatched the Rangers in the field to another set of emergencies. Cody finally came upon the MTV station and watched with startling curiosity the strange and bizarre music videos that played across the screen. When the video set came to an end the next thing that came on was a program called MTV News. 

Izzy watched from a distance as Cody seemed to take an interest in the last video that had played and even more interest in the MTV news as it rolled through something on the latest bands and stars. The phone rang again and Izzy couldn’t hear what was being said on the TV as he focused on the newest ‘emergency’ that had just arisen. As he took down the information, he saw Cody stand up and turn the TV off and put down the remote. When he turned and looked at Izzy, there was a distant look in his eyes as if he were lost in thought.

“You ok Cody?” he asked as he hung up the phone.

“Huh?” he said as if coming back to himself. “Oh, yeah. You guys are busy and I think I’m going to head out. With my luck Matt will get back here and get called right back out. I can catch up with him later,” he said as he headed towards the door, that distant look still in his eyes.

Izzy raised an eyebrow, “Ok. I’ll let him know you were here. Say hi to your dad for me.”

Cody nodded absently and shut the station door behind him…his mind on something else. He got into Cooper’s saddle and pointed the horses head towards town, deciding to head to the library to do a little research on something that had just sparked a memory…and possibly had just solved a mystery.

TBC ---


	14. Chapter 14

Cody woke the next morning with a plan in place to get some answers to a mystery that had been bugging him for months but he knew he had to wait until his chores were done. Tucked away in his saddle bag were the photocopies he’d made at the library from the day before.

Jesse heard him coming down and looked up at him as he came into the kitchen. “Morning son,” he said as he flipped the pancakes on the griddle. 

“Morning dad,” he said through a yawn. “Mind if I go take some photos today after my chores are done?”

Jesse raised an eyebrow, “You were just out yesterday son.”

Cody nodded, “I know, but that was to see Matt. Clara suggested at one time I work to put some different things into my portfolio and I wanted to get some different shots of Eagle Canyon at different times of the day,” he offered. 

His father looked at him then looked back at the griddle, “Your brother radioed up here yesterday. He said Izzy told him you’d shown up to visit with him but then took off before he got back off a rescue. Care to explain that?”

Wincing, Cody sighed. “I started thinking about some things for school and doing some research on the whole photojournalism thing. They were so busy with calls that I figured if I waited for Matt, he’d probably just get called right back out if he ever made it back to the station. So I thought since I was close enough to the library that I’d go do some research. I got a bit distracted and when I realized what time it was it was too late to head back to the station and I knew I needed to get home.” 

Jesse looked back over his shoulder at him then sighed. “All right. You need to make it up to him. Get your chores done this morning before you take off and be back here before supper.” With that Jesse put down a stack of pancakes in front of Cody and turned back to make some for himself.

Cody nodded before eating what had been put before him. Now he just had to come up with the courage to go through with his plans.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Morning was no longer a dreaded time of the day as Clara got up and got dressed. She liked coffee but tea was cheaper and she could usually get two cups per tea bag before it was too weak to call it tea. Shuffling out to the barn, she went to the chicken coop that Jaime had helped her repair and turned the chickens out into the enclosure they had before collecting the couple of eggs and heading into the cabin.

After a breakfast of scrambled eggs mixed with herbs and peppers from the garden, she finished up her dishes and dressed in a pair of old work jeans and her thicker flannel shirt. She was still working to put in a supply of wood for the winter. She had about three quarters of what Jesse thought she’d need and she’d spent the last three days dragging several trees up out of the valley in pieces so she could saw them into smaller pieces to split.

It had been five months since she’d left her old life behind and fall was definitely here in the higher elevation. She needed to cover the garden every night to keep the frost off of it so that she could get a few more weeks of growing time out of it before she had to give it up as a lost cause. The cabin had been fixed up with about two thirds of her remaining money and the rest of it she’d managed to stretch to last long enough to put food on her table until she’d canned enough from her garden and the animals that Jesse had taught her how to kill and dress. 

Her hair had begun to grow out again and Jaime’s mother had given her a decent trim about a month ago so it didn’t look so butchered around the edges. Her hands were heavily callused now and she had put on a good layer of muscle where she’d never had much before. She felt better than she had in a long time. Even Matt seemed to be making an effort to try and stop by more often if nothing more than to see how she was doing. She wasn’t sure of how she felt about that since letting someone close to her might expose her past, especially with what his job was. But she had to admit that her heart beat a little faster when she saw him riding that damned white horse of his.

Going outside, she struggled to get the first part of a tree into place so she could begin to saw it into chunks. Her morning progressed with the steady rhythm of the saw blade going through the dry wood. The sound of something caught her attention and she looked up, spotting Cody riding Cooper into the clearing.

“Hey Cody,” she said, slightly out of breath.

He nodded and smiled a little. “Wow, you’ve been busy,” he stated, looking around.

“I’ve got a lot of catching up to do and it’s just me. At least Jesse has you to help him,” she teased a little.

Cody rolled his eyes at that and slid out of the saddle, “Don’t remind me.”

Clara put the saw up and noticed he had the camera around his neck, “Been out taking photos today?”

Nodding, Cody smiled. “Decided to expand my portfolio like you suggested, so I focused my shots in and around Eagle Canyon.”

She smiled, “Good for you. Come on. I haven’t had lunch. Have you eaten yet?”

He shook his head and she led the way inside. “Let me clean up and I’ll fix us something.” With that she headed to the bathroom and drew some water into the basin, washing her face and doing a quick wash up of her arms and neck. Coming back out, she began pulling out chicken from the ice box and a plate of sliced vegetables. 

Cody came in and sat at the kitchen table, setting his saddle bags to the side after pulling out a folder. Setting it on the table he waited for her to return. She put things out on table, eyeing the folder and once she set the bread on the table, pointed to it.

“Is that some of your recent work?” she asked curiously.

He shrugged, “Just something I was researching,” he replied, handing it to her.

She took the folder and opened it, expecting to see photographs. Instead, she saw photocopies of articles from teen magazines, specifically about a famous band called ‘Red Sky’ and their lead female singer Shandra Lee. Article after article stared back at her about the band, their awards, concert tour and all the details anyone would ever want to know about their lives listed out in black and white. 

She kept her face still, trying not to react to what she’d just seen. She shut the folder and handed it back to him, not noticing the shake of her hand, saying nothing to him. Turning her back on him, she walked back to the ice box and took out a jar of mayo as if nothing had happened.

Cody looked at her back in a confused manner as she turned and walked away, having seen the slight tremble of her hand and the sudden cold impassiveness of her face. It wasn’t until the jar of mayo she’d gotten from the icebox hit the floor and shattered that he realized she was shaking.

“Clara…,” he said, leaping to his feet. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He approached her, hoping to guide her back to the table where he could get her to sit. The last thing he expected was for her to whirl just as he touched her shoulders and slap him across the face.

Tears streamed down her face, “WHY!? Why did you have to do this to me!?” she yelled at him, half in anger, half in fear.

Cody staggered back a step, never having been slapped across the face before. A hand had gone reflexively to the burning skin of his cheek. “I … I don’t understand. That’s who you are…isn’t it? People are starting to speculate and say you’ve gone missing and…,” he tried to stammer.

“I don’t care! You have NO idea what it was like, what was happening!” she yelled at him. She was shaking with sobs now, her whole body trembling as if it was with sheer will she was keeping herself from slapping Cody again.

He was caught between wanting to retreat and feeling the need to take her in his arms and just hold her until she calmed down. He knew in his gut if he left her alone, she’d do something like try to run or worse. Finally he stepped back towards her, grabbed her by the upper arms so she couldn’t slap him again and looked her in the eyes. “Then talk to me! You’ve got to talk to someone or you’re going to go crazy. Sooner or later, someone’s going to figure it out by finding out your real name and start digging around in public records and find out about the will and this place. They’ll come looking,” he said in what he hoped was the voice of reason.

She looked at him through the tears and felt all the fight leave her body as her shoulders sagged. She hung her head, shaking it a little. “God, I wanted to leave it all behind, I wanted to escape.”

Cody looked at her and sighed softly, “Come on,” he said as he guided her over to the table and sat her down. He pulled up a chair in front of her. “Talk to me. I promise no one else knows what I figured out.” Reaching across the table he grabbed the dish towel and handed it to her so she could dry her eyes.

Clara took a moment to try to gather her thoughts. “My parents took me to an audition for an acting part in a commercial when I was eight, just after my last visit to Uncle Jake. The producers loved me and I got the job. It ended up being in a series of commercials. I was then enrolled in acting classes, dance and music lessons. I had no time to be a normal kid after that. That’s why I never came back to visit. I was too busy being dragged around to lessons or auditions.” She wiped her eyes as she looked down at her hands. “Things were all right at first. I got bit parts in TV shows, commercials, even got to do some background scenes in some movies. By the time I was fourteen, my parents had found a manager they really liked. They liked him because he knew how to manipulate the system to cash in on my growing fame. He took care of all the ‘details’ of the contracts and money, arranged for me to have anything I wanted, made sure I got my education and seemed like the best thing since sliced bread. I had nothing else to base him off of so I went along with it all. He landed me a major part in an up and coming sit-com. It went prime-time and it did so well, it was continued for almost three years.”

Listening intently, Cody got up and poured her a glass of water and handed it to her, making her drink some of it before she continued.

“By the time I was seventeen, the sit-com had come to an end and my manager was trying to find other things for me to do to keep the cash cow…me, earning them money. I started realizing something wasn’t right. My parents were living high off the hog so to speak, spending money like it was going out of style. My manager seemed to be doing quite well also, but I was seeing very little of this cash or at least I was told not to worry about it, that it was being taken care of. Sure, I was given anything I asked for, allowed to have fine clothes, a nice car, to go to parties and go shopping but no money ever crossed my hands. I began to question things though as I got older. To distract me, my manager decided to create a rock band and that’s where ‘Red Sky’ came into play. All those music and dance lessons began to pay off. Young teen bands were the in-thing. He got us signed up with a major record label within six months and we were off and recording our first album and planning our first tour. I wasn’t of legal age at the time so my parents signed the contracts for me without my knowledge and when the excitement of the band had subsided some I started to demand to see financial statements, the contract and more. The older, more experienced members of the band had been talking around me and by then, I knew how to listen so I knew that there was a lot I had been naively letting others take care of for me.” She paused and looked up at him finally. 

Cody saw fear and anger in that look. There was more in that look than words could ever tell him. She’d been betrayed by the people who were supposed to protect her interests, who were supposed to love her. She’d been used for nothing more than what she could get them…money.

“When I finally was able to get a hold of those records through some investigative work of my own, I was shocked at what I found. My parents had signed an eight year contract with my manager who had in turn signed a contract with the studio our record label was under. He would get the money from the studio to ‘manage’ for me, but then by wording of his contract with my parents, it would get put into bank accounts that I had no access to. Basically I was left out of the equation. The terms and payout were astronomical to them. The money I would get from this was very little. Basically by the time the contract came to an end, my career would be near an end at twenty five, I’d have nothing to my name. My parents and manager would have it all. I don’t know how it could be legal but I decided to start making plans of my own. I found a way to get my hands on a few thousand dollars by selling off a couple of my guitars that I autographed. After the latest tour was over, I had made plans to run. I threw a big party at my house and that night, I called a cab during the height of the party and slipped out wearing some guy’s clothes. Went to the nearest bus station and in the bathroom I cut my hair and dyed it.” Her voice trailed off as she looked up at him, tired and scared. 

Cody stared at her for the longest time. Finally he sighed, “Do you have a copy of the stuff you got a hold of, the contracts and statements? Matt knows this lawyer he rescued a year ago. She might be able to help you out in looking things over to see if there’s something that can be done to take it all away from them and get you out of the contract.”

Clara blinked at him. She had expected a lot of things from him. Advice like this was not one of them. But then again, he was a fairly level headed young man. She blew out a breath, “Yeah, I kept it with me. I had it hidden in my duffle bag just in case.” 

“Would you trust me to talk to her for you if I can…privately? She helped represent my dad during a case when a couple of guys tried to accuse him of murdering their brother. She got the case dropped and actually went after them for false accusation.” He looked at her hopefully.

She chewed on her bottom lip for a few minutes and then got up and went into the main bedroom, coming out carrying a folder thick with papers. She held it out to him. “This is everything I could get my hands on. Don’t lose it. I don’t think I could replace it if any of its lost,” she said nervously. 

Cody blinked at the thick folder and then nodded, taking it gingerly. “I’ll make a copy of it so you can have the originals back in case Lisa wants to see the documents.” With that, he tucked it into the saddle bag along with the folder of the photocopies he’d made the day before then looked back up at her. “I’m sorry I discovered your secret. It’s just you left little things out there hanging. I was at the Ranger station yesterday and they just got cable and Izzy thought it would be cool to show me MTV. So I sat and watched it. They had a form of news and some of it was on you and how people think you’ve disappeared and your manager is covering it up. They played a video clip of you on stage singing a song that became a hit on your last tour. They said that you were going to go into the studio after the tour to record it. I recognized it because you hum and sing bits of it to yourself when you’re working around here. When I realized you looked somewhat like this singer too, I left the station, went to the library and started digging.”

Clara snorted, giving a little quavering smile, “You’d make a good private investigator if you didn’t want to be a photo journalist,” she teased a little. She looked at his face. “Sorry about slapping you. I’m afraid I reddened your cheek pretty good. That’s not going to go away before you get back to your dad’s. Just tell him you snuck up and startled me. Say I spun around and slapped you before I realized it was you?”

His hand reached up to touch the red spot on his cheek as he flushed. “Yeah. He’s probably going to ground me for life for being disrespectful to a lady. Well as long as you’re willing to match your story to mine, it will keep me from getting into too much trouble if he asks you about it.”

She nodded, “Sorry,” she apologized again.

Cody smirked, “Hey, at least now I can say I know this really famous rock star and can brag about how I got to help fix up her house and how I was slapped by her and all that kind of stuff,” he joked as he went over and began to clean up the broken mayo jar off the floor.

Flushing, she chuckled a little and began to put plates of food together for lunch. “You are such a brat,” she said jokingly.

TBC ---


	15. Chapter 15

Pushing open the glass interior door of the Ranger Station, Cody smiled at Hart who was manning the radio desk. It had been over a week since he’d talked with Clara and he’d been monitoring the radio in hopes of finding a time to go to the station when everyone would be busy. Today was just that day. Matt had four of his six Rangers out on a training exercise and Cody had planned to come down to the station to make a special phone call while they were away.

Hart sat at the radio desk today since it was Izzy’s turn in the rotation to be taken out on training and he looked up as Cody entered the station. “Hey Cody. What brings you down here today? Everyone’s out on training exercises and won’t be back until late this afternoon.”

Cody nodded, “I know. I was hoping to use Matt’s phone to make a call,” he said with a little feigned shyness. “I promised Haley I’d call her once in awhile to see how things were going with her and her dad. Think Matt would mind if I called from his office?”

Hart grinned, his white teeth flashing against his dark skin. “Not at all. And here I thought you had the hots for Clara.” He chuckled and waved Cody into Matt’s office. “I’ll even promise to keep it quiet that you were making a phone call to a certain young lady if you promise to get me one of those photos you took of Lake Jennifer, the one I really like. Wouldn’t mind having one of those to send to my mom for her birthday present.”

Cody blinked, having expected Hart to ask for a picture of Clara but instead was asked for one of his landscape pictures. Smiling, Cody stuck out his hand. “You bet. I’ll get one developed and to you in a couple of weeks. Sound good?”

Hart shook Cody’s hand. “Sounds good. Now get in there before I change my mind,” he teased lightly. He liked Matt’s kid brother. He had a kid brother of his own and there were times he really missed him. He was in the military now, serving overseas and he only got to see him once or twice a year if he was lucky. So in a way, he felt obligated to treat Cody like he would his own brother at times, letting him get away with things that were harmless or good natured fun, like the little bet they’d had going on whether Clara would hit Matt or not on move-in day.

Cody grinned as he slipped into Matt’s office and shut the door. He had his saddle bag with him that held Clara’s file. He pulled it out before setting the saddle bag on the floor by Matt’s desk and then sat down in the chair. Picking up the rolodex he began searching for Lisa Elliott’s phone number and within moments, found the card that held the information. Taking a pen, he wrote the information down on the inside cover of Clara’s folder and then spun the rolodex to cover up what he’d been looking for, put it back where it had been on Matt’s desk then picked up the receiver of the phone before dialing the number.

After two rings, the phone was answered on the other end of the line. “Shapiro, Miller, Vanna and Elliot Law Offices. How may I direct your call?”

“I’d like to speak to Lisa Elliott,” Cody said, trying to keep his voice calm but low enough that it wouldn’t carry through the door to where Hart sat on the other side.

“I’m sorry. She’s not taking any calls currently. Can I take a message for her?” came the woman’s professional voice on the other end of the line.

Cody ground his teeth. It would be just his luck that she would be busy or not in the office. Hopefully he could play his ‘luck’ card and she might just take his call. “Actually, I think she’ll take my call. Tell her my name is Cody Hawkes, my father is Jesse Hawkes and my brother is Matt Hawkes. Tell her I need to speak to her right now, that it’s urgent.” He silently crossed his fingers.

There was a hesitation on the other end of the line. “Let me see if she’ll take your call. She’s in the middle of a very important case. Hold please.”

Cody realized as he heard the line go ‘blank’ that his hands were shaking. He needed to talk to Lisa today because he wasn’t sure if he would be able to call her again anytime soon. Today was the only day to make this little scheme work.

The seconds ticked by and he heard the click of the phone being picked up and steeled himself against the rejection he was sure he knew was coming.

“Cody? What on earth is the matter?” came Lisa’s voice. “Is something wrong with Jesse or Matt?” There was true concern in her voice. In the short time they had known Lisa she had become a good friend of the family’s. It was evident in the tone of her voice that even months later, she still felt the same way.

“Lisa. Thank god. I was afraid the secretary was going to tell me you were too busy.” Cody said with an exhale of pent up air.

“Not for you three. Now, what’s going on that has you coming down off your mountain to call me?” she asked calmly.

“What do you know about the missing rock star Shandra Lee?” he said, coming right to the point.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Cody rode up to Clara’s front porch close to dusk and climbed off his horse with the flush of pride and success to his face. He walked Cooper to the barn and pulled his tack off of him before giving him a quick rub down, then turning him loose in the corral for the night. He would radio his dad that he was staying overnight at Clara’s and would be home tomorrow. The news he had to tell her couldn’t wait.

Heading up the porch steps, Cody knocked on the door and then opened it, stepping inside. “Clara?” he called out.

“In the kitchen,” came the response. Her voice sounded tired but from the look of things, she’d put in another long day of splitting wood and he knew from experience that she was probably not in much condition to do more than fix herself a meal and go to bed.

The cabin he walked through now looked like someone truly lived here. Large braided rugs covered the wooden floors, handmade wood furniture sat around the main fireplace with shelves full of books lining the walls, paintings and pictures hung on the walls giving the entire place a feeling of ‘home’. 

Entering the kitchen, Cody found Clara putting together something that looked like grilled cheese sandwiches on the stove. Her hair was damp and she was wrapped up in an old soft bathrobe that was shabby but clean. It was hard to believe that the woman standing there was a famous rock star. His brain just didn’t seem to be able to grasp that concept yet. 

“Want some supper?” she asked with a tired smile as she looked at him coming into the kitchen.

He nodded, “Sure. Anything I can do to help?”

She shook her head, “Have a seat and tell me why you’re on my doorstep at this time of day?” she questioned.

He took the offered chair and grinned. “I’ve got good news and great news,” he said as he pulled out her file folder from the saddle bags he’d drug in with him.

She looked at the file and raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Well, I managed to get a hold of Lisa Elliott today and before we even finished our conversation, she put me on hold, called up a courier service and arranged to have them drive out and meet me today at the library. Then she told me to get over there, make copies of everything you had, make a map of how to get to your place along with your address, put it in an envelope, seal it with tape and my signature across the whole thing, then give it to the courier when they arrived. You can have this back for your records. Oh, and her name and number are on the inside of the folder,” he said, spilling everything out at once.

“I gave her a rundown of what’s happened, what you told me and said the rest of the information was in the file. She said she would look it over as soon as she got it which should be in another hour or so. Then she would begin to do some digging of her own. Once she got some information and evidence, she would find a way to come up here and have a meeting between you two to go over things,” he said with a grin.

Clara simply stood there staring at him, her mouth hanging open a little. She didn’t know what to say. In less than twelve hours after a single phone call, she had a powerful lawyer working on her case and willing to do it, sight unseen. “I…I don’t know what to say Cody. You guys must really have some pull with her for her to just be willing to drop everything and pick up my case.”

Cody shrugged, “We don’t have pull with her. She’s just a good friend. Matt saved her life and she helped defend my dad when he was accused of murder. She’s seen how we live up here and knows we have a simple life. We wouldn’t be asking anything of her if we didn’t feel strongly about it.”

Moving to the stove, Clara took a moment to put together another grilled cheese sandwich for Cody. While her hands were busy doing this, her mind was a whirlwind of activity as she tried to go over everything Cody had just explained to her. For the first time in months, there was a very small glimmer of hope that she might have a way out from under all of this mess.

Cody watched her as she worked and knew she was thinking. “So if this all goes to court and you win, are you going to go back to being a rock star or actor?” he asked, almost afraid to utter the words. He had selfish reasons for not wanting her to leave. He liked having her around and he knew that Matt did too.

She turned to look at him as she put the griddle on the stove. “I…I hadn’t given it any thought really. I don’t know. My parents pushed me into it since I was eight and I know everyone seems to think the life of a singer or actor is all gold and glitter but its hard work, harder than most realize. You have to contend with egos the size of Mount McKinzey on a daily basis. You have tons of things to memorize day in and day out. You’re on the go constantly, costume changes, sitting in a makeup chair for hours while people do weird things to your hair and face that you have no control over. Doesn’t sound like much but if you’re an active person, sitting still is pure torture for two hours or more. When you’re on stage, you’re dealing with the stage lights that will blind you, the heat that all those lights create, the loud speakers and screaming crowds…the noise is incredible. It gives you a great high to feel and see it but night after night, you find yourself rushed from one stage, back onto a bus, driven across another state to another stage, thrown up there to do it all over again. You have to learn how to sleep on a moving bus or go without. If you’re sick, you still have to go on and perform. The fans don’t care. They paid to see you perform and that’s what they’ll get.”

During this explanation, his eyes got wider and he seemed to be in awe of what she was telling him. “I never realized…,” he started.

She turned back to the stove and flipped the sandwiches with a spatula. “That’s not to mention the photo shoots you have to be drug off to, the fittings for stage outfits or if you’re acting, the fittings you have to do for your outfits for the different productions, award ceremonies and all of that. Oh and heaven forbid you show up to one of those in the wrong pair of shoes or dress. You’ll be criticized behind your back and they’ll make fun of you in all the publicity papers. You have to watch every step you take, who you hang out with, what you do, what you say. The paparazzi follow you like a pack of rabid wolves, waiting for scraps to fall from the table to blow out of proportion for the tabloids to try and scandalize something you did or said that may have been completely innocent at the time. You’re never alone. You try to do something like a ‘normal’ person in public like go for a burger and you have twenty people begging for your autograph and others following you around or stalking you. You want to go shopping at the mall and you can’t hardly get through two stores without attracting groupies and crowds of fans following you and shouting questions at you right along with the paparazzi. And it doesn’t stop there. They bribe your servants, if you have any, to tell them anything you’re up to … basically spying on you and what you’re doing in your private life or in your down time when you’re not out on the road or busy filming something.” 

Cody could tell that she had suddenly begun to stress herself out just by talking about it. “Then walk away. Sue their pants off, get out of the contract with the studio and walk away. You’ll have money then. Come back up here and stay.” He hoped he was speaking with some reason, some sound advice.

She took the griddle off the stove and pushed the sandwiches onto two plates and then ladled out what was left of the chicken vegetable soup from a pot off the back where it had been sitting, warming up, between two bowls. She wouldn’t tell Cody this but it was the last of the soup that she had. She’d have to make another trip to town with what little she had left or she’d have to butcher another chicken to make another pot of homemade stuff to last her another week or so with some of the vegetables from her garden.

Bringing the food over to the table, she set it down in front of him. When she finally settled into the seat across from him she looked at him. “I just don’t know Cody. I’ll have to take this one step at a time and consider all my options. But I wouldn’t mind staying up here and not have to go back to the stresses I had before coming here.” The only thing was, she still had a whole set of different stresses to face while she was still here, stresses she’d not had to ever face until she’d moved up to these mountains.

Cody grinned at her across the table at her, “I’m sure Matt would be glad to have you stick around when all was said and done….”

Clara sighed and could only roll her eyes towards the ceiling at that as she took a spoonful of her soup and silently hoped that was the truth but dared not hope too hard.

TBC ---


	16. Chapter 16

“Move your boney ass!” Clara growled at the old mare that seemed stubbornly ensconced in the stall on a bright, cold morning, almost a week after Cody had called Lisa Elliot. 

This morning was what Clara liked to referred to as ‘drudge morn’. Once or twice a week, depending on how often she let the horses stable overnight in the barn, she mucked out the stalls, swept the wooden barn floor and cleaned the corral up as best as she could from where the horses had been. She’d then rake up the yard under where she’d been splitting and sawing wood for the shavings to put on the floor of the stalls and the excess if any into cloth bags to store for winter use. Nothing around her cabin went to waste. Ashes from the fireplaces, peelings, dead plants from the garden, manure, egg shells and tea bags went into the compost pile to the south of the barn. It was turned several times a month in hopes that she could use part of it on the garden the following spring. 

This morning, her mare didn’t feel like moving from the warm shelter of the barn and out into the cool breeze of the corral. Clara felt bad for the old nag but until her stall was mucked out and new shavings put down, she would have to go outside. With another growled curse and tug on the lead rope, the mare finally stepped out of her stall with a sigh of disgust and plodded her way out of the barn and out into the corral.

Now that the obstacle was removed, Clara went back into the barn and to her work. The chickens roamed around the inside of the barn and out into their enclosure, clucking and making the soothing little noises they made. As she worked, Clara planned out her day and then the rest of her week, knowing that snow wasn’t probably more than a month off. Nights were getting down to the freezing mark now and there was nothing left to harvest in her garden except root vegetables, which would need to be dug up in the next few days.

Her mind was so occupied as she took the wheelbarrow full of manure out to the compost pit that she missed the sounds of an engine coming down the road towards her cabin. Coming back around the edge of the barn, Clara stopped short at the sight of a dark blue Lincoln Continental with tinted windows coming to rest near her porch steps. She felt her body tense immediately as she knew this car didn’t belonged to anyone she knew and wasn’t the sort of car one saw someone driving up logging roads into the mountains anyway. 

Unable to see who sat behind the wheel, she continued to push the wheelbarrow towards the barn. Setting it down just inside the door, she reached for her splitting maul and double headed axe that hung on the wall of tools. The one gun she had was still inside and she wouldn’t feel safe until she had some way of protecting herself from whoever this might be.

Stepping back out, she walked casually over towards the splitting stump where she set down the splitting maul next to it and then rested the axe on top of it, though her hands never left the handle. No one had left the car yet and this put her further on edge. When the car door finally opened, smoke billowed up and out of the car, followed by a greasy looking man who could have stood to lose about a hundred pounds, mainly around the middle. His hair was slicked back and parted on the side and his plaid jacket and polyester slacks set her instincts on edge. It screamed ‘city sleaze’ to her.

The face that looked around at her cabin and scenery seemed to do so in disgust and the fat sausage like fingers held up a cigar to the man’s thin lips as he took another drag from it. He finally turned and looked at Clara. The look of disgust didn’t dwindle in the least. “Excuse me little lady,” he said, drawling out the words. “The man of the house wouldn’t happen to be home now would he?”

It was all Clara could do to keep from picking up the axe at that moment and pitching it at the man but she simply schooled her features and kept a tight grip on the handle, trying to look relaxed. “I don’t know you. State your business,” she stated in a clear, cool voice.

The man’s dark eyes narrowed and he seemed to take a closer look at her, “Well see little lady, I’m lost. Looking for a Tom Jefferson. Wouldn’t know where he lives, would you?”

“No one here by that name. Never heard of a Tom Jefferson in these parts unless you go to a bank and ask for a two dollar bill. Got a picture of a Tom Jefferson on it. Now get off my land. You’re trespassing,” stated Clara evenly. Granted, she didn’t know everyone around Tahoe in the mountains but she’d heard Jesse and the Rangers talking often enough about the locals and had never heard of anyone named Tom Jefferson and didn’t think he was really looking for anyone by that name.

She saw the man’s jowls quiver slightly as he clamped his jaws down tight in anger, “Now see here missy! I don’t take kindly to being talked to that way…,” he said, taking a step away from his car door.

Clara ran her right hand down the handle of the axe and picked it up near the head, then used her left to grab the end of the handle, hefting it so that it was now horizontal to her body. “I would advise you not to take a step further from your car. You stated your business. I answered your question and told you to get off my land and why. I won’t ask you again,” she growled. She balanced the axe easily in her hands, looking as though she were ready to do battle with it, legs slightly apart as if to stabilize herself when she struck something.

The fat man growled slightly, “I always heard that people in the mountains were helpful and friendly and polite. Guess that ain’t true…,” he said with a sneer as he took another drag on his cigar and blew out the smoke in her direction. He moved to slip back into his seat.

Clara bit her tongue, wanting to make a snappy comeback but she felt that now was definitely not the time to say anything. The man was leaving and that’s all she wanted. The man made her skin crawl by the way he looked at her and the way he had spoken to her. She felt as though she would have felt cleaner if she’d rolled around in the compost pit…than the way she felt now being around this man.

The car sank a little as the man sat down and with look back at her, he snarled and flicked the stub of his cigar out towards her before slamming his door shut. The heavy engine of the Lincoln Continental roared to life a moment later and he spun his tires as he put the car into reverse to back it up. Putting it into drive, he spun the tires again, slewing dirt and gravel around as he headed back up her driveway and out onto the main logging road.

Clara stood there for several moments, shaking as her hands worked over the grip on her axe. Her heart was racing and all she could do was stand there and shake like a leaf on a tree. A thousand little questions ran around inside her skull, each gibbering and jostling for position. But the ones that kept resurfacing were…who was that man and what was he doing up here?

Finally she got herself calmed down and loosening her stiff grip on the axe, she put it down and went into the cabin, grabbed the fire tongs and went back out to the spot where the man’s cigar stub still smoldered. She wrinkled her nose at it and took it inside to toss into the fire still going in the fireplace. There was no way she would allow that thing to contaminate her home or her land.

As she made her way back out to the yard, the sound of an engine could be heard coming down the driveway and thoughts of the man returning made her quickly race towards the splitting block where she’d left the axe. She reached for it, grabbing it up and turned quickly as if ready to do battle only to find herself staring at Matt’s black truck.

She let her shoulders sag as she quickly let the axe sink back to the stump and she heard the truck door open. Her actions and expression must have warned him something had happened to spook her because it took Matt only a few long strides to come over to Clara and grab her up by the shoulders so he could force her to look at him. 

“What happened?” he asked, worry tingeing his words and making her feel a little weak around the middle.

“Some…creepy…sleazy…guy…just showed up here looking for someone…,” she managed to stammer out, not realizing how much the encounter with the man had shaken her up until she heard herself trying to get the words out around her shaking.

“Driving a dark blue Lincoln Continental?” he asked as if in clarification.

She looked up at his green eyes and nodded.

He frowned, “Guy was racing down the road like someone had lit a fire under his ass. Nearly ran me off the road. I radioed the Sheriff and the Rangers and gave them his plate number and description of his car. Told them to try and nail him for reckless driving…but with me being off duty…,” he said cautiously.

Clara nodded a little and sighed. “It’s all right. He said he was ‘lost’ and looking for someone named Tom Jefferson. Told him to get off my land and he was trespassing.”

Matt’s hands gently released her shoulders and instead, he put a hand on top of her shoulder as he bent a little at the waist to look her in the eyes. “Don’t know of anyone by that name that lives around here,” he said quietly. “You gonna be ok? Maybe you should go stay at dad’s place for a day or two?” he offered.

Taking a deep breath she looked up at him and tried to smile a little, “Its ok. It just shook me up is all. If I don’t feel comfortable about it by tonight, I’ll see about heading over to your dad’s. But if he was already heading off the mountain and you have people looking out for him, then I’m not going to worry about it too much. Probably some sleaze ball got lost and thought he’d try some con on some hapless country hick.”

Chuckling, Matt pulled Clara into a half hug, “Well the way you looked when you turned around with that axe in your hands, I think I’d fear for my life if I were him.”

Flushing at that, she pushed away a little and looked him over and then at his truck, “What are you doing here…and on your day off?”

TBC ---


	17. Chapter 17

“You’re riding again!” growled Matt as he pulled on the two-man cross cut saw.

A chuckle came from the other side of the log, “I know.” The saw was pulled back through on the other side.

“Then if you know, knock it off!” he snarled, though it was almost playfully. It was his turn to pull the ‘misery whip’ through and felt Clara ‘riding’ again. It was a tactic he played on his brother from time to time when they had to saw logs for their dad. When two people were sawing with a cross cut saw, one pulled the saw blade through while the other ‘rested’. The one ‘resting’ was to just lightly hold to the handle and ‘guide’ it through the cut in the log, doing nothing else until it was their turn to pull back on the blade. But there was always the temptation to rest on the handles or lay too heavily on the saw as it was being pulled pack through by the other person, causing the blade to drag and bind up. That’s why it was called ‘riding’. It was torture on the shoulders and arms of the person doing the pulling.

“Not until you apologize…,” came the reply as the saw was pulled back to the other side.

“For what!?” Matt exclaimed

“For that last comment about being a flatlander…,” he heard called out to him over the sound of the saw scraping against the wood.

There had been a friendly sort of teasing going on all afternoon between them as they sawed up the trees she’d hauled up out of the valley over the last couple of weeks. She had explained that she hoped that what she had brought up would be the last of what she needed to cut and split for the winter.

Matt had gotten up early that morning and headed out before the rest of the crew had a chance to get up and around too much. He had plans for the day and didn’t want to get roped into helping out with anything or called out on something just because he was there. He had thrown a cooler into the back of the truck and headed to the grocery store in Tahoe where he spent some time purchasing groceries and supplies. The next stop had been by the feed store and then he’d headed up to Clara’s.

He’d been only a few miles out when the Lincoln had roared down the logging road towards him, never swerving until the last minute. Matt had laid on his horn and gotten over as far as he could to avoid the guy in case he didn’t move but if he hadn’t, Matt would have had a messed up truck. That had really put him off his good mood, but had made his gut twist as if he felt something was wrong, making him call the plates and car description into the Sheriff’s office.

Stepping on the gas, he’d hurried up to Clara’s. As he pulled in, he’d seen the panicked way she’d sprinted for the axe, never even looking towards him. The look on her face when she’d turned with it in her hands told him right away where the Lincoln had just come from. The fear in her eyes made him want to turn the truck around and run the car down, pull the man out and pummel him to a bloody pulp.

Once he got his own emotions under control as well as got Clara calmed some, he told her he was there to help her out with whatever she needed that day. She’d gotten a wicked grin on her face and pointed to the trees that needed to be cut into logs. His back ached from just looking at them.

By lunchtime, she’d stripped out of her sweatshirt to just a tight t-shirt and with a slight blush, Matt’s only thought when he saw the muscles she’d built up over the past few months was ‘Why can’t I have that to look at every day?’ The next thought that made him truly blush and look away for a minute to get his face to cool down was ‘I wonder what the rest of her looks like?’

A contest was started soon after as to who would quit first. Matt grinned, having instigated the challenge. If he won, he got to take her out for a steak dinner. If he lost, he would have to fix her supper. She looked confused at this at first, not seeing how it was fair to him but finally shrugged and said it was his ‘funeral’ and thus began the challenge.

During the whole afternoon as the two of them worked, he fired questions at her and she either side-stepped them, ignored them or teased him with hints. She’d turn questions around or make snide comments right back at him to make him guess or play twenty questions. At times it had become infuriating while other times he got to see a whole other side of Clara. It was a side he liked, a side that was easy going, fun to be around, one that was quick to laugh and with a sharp wit and a sharper tongue.

“Well you ARE a flatlander! You weren’t born in the mountains…,” he said as he thought about his last comment. He grunted as he pulled the saw towards him, feeling her riding it on purpose.

“I’ve lived up here over five months. I think that qualifies me to no longer have the status of ‘flatlander’…and seeing as I’m kicking your ass at cutting wood, I think you should apologize,” she teased.

The log thumped to the ground and both looked at each other over the distance of the saw and he caught her grinning, though she was panting a bit.

“I don’t know about that...,” he said hesitantly, “I think I’d have to leave that judgment up to dad or Aaron Bass. If they say you’re not a flatlander anymore, I’ll apologize,” Matt temporized as he moved down the tree trunk on the saw horses to place the blade at slice mark to start on the next log. He hoped it would be enough to placate her so she would stop torturing him. He wasn’t sure if his arms and back could take much more.

His arms were beginning to get sore. He was used to long grueling hours doing rescues that took a lot of training and strength but the work he’d been doing today, he only did once or twice a month with his dad and brother or at the station if he felt the need to get a little exercise in and they had some down time. But the wood the station burned was either delivered or they used chain saws and log splitters. Only his dad used non-gas powered tools like this.

“I guess I can wait a little while for an apology, but it better come with some form of offering of placation and groveling,” she said with a wicked grin to her lips.

Matt could only snort and quickly moved onto the next question. “So…since my brother is up here all the time, tell me something about yourself that you’ve told Cody. Some little fact…” He was curious as to how much his brother really knew about Clara.

For a moment there was silence from the other side of the log except for the sound that the saw made. Finally she spoke up, “Well, I told him I could sing ‘Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini’ in French,” came her reply.

He blinked at that. She could sing? And in French? “Really?”

“Oui! But of course your brother, being Cody, didn’t believe me until I proved it to him,” came the exasperated reply from over the log.

Matt caught a glimpse of her face and laughed, seeing how flushed she looked. “He made you sing it for him, didn’t he?”

“Yes,” came another exasperated reply.

Laughing, Matt grinned to himself. He could just picture Cody coaxing Clara to prove to him that she could do it. “All right, now tell me something about yourself that he doesn’t know. I think it’s only fair…,” he teased lightly.

His arms were tiring and he could feel his muscles starting to really ache. He silently hoped after today’s workout, he wasn’t going to get called out on any rescues that would require climbing for a day or two. He waited as he wondered how long it would take Clara to think of something that Cody didn’t know about her and then realized that he must know quite a bit about her if she had to think about it. Maybe he should go pick Cody’s brain about what Clara had done for a living before moving up here. He might have gotten it out of her by know, knowing how persistent his little brother could be at times.

She was quiet for a few moments while they sawed and finally she looked up at him with a bit of an embarrassed look to her face. “I absolutely love classical movies and musicals,” she offered. “I used to like nothing more than to curl up on a rainy night with a big bowl of popcorn and watch an old black and white movie with Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, Jimmy Stewart, Gary Cooper, John Wayne, Roy Rogers or Bing Crosby.”

Matt blinked at her, “Really? I wouldn’t take you for a ‘Classical’ girl,” he teased lightly. “I would say you seem like you’d be more of the modern, high-tech era kind of gal.”

Clara wrinkled up her nose at him, “Oh pa-lease!” she said in her best modern, high-tech era voice. “Gag me with a spoon! Modern day films have no class, no style. All flash and bang, no substance.”

This brought Matt to a stop on his end of the saw as he started laughing hard enough to almost double over. When he finally got control of himself, he was still grinning pretty hard.

Clara stood there on the other side of the log and watched him as he laughed, one eyebrow raised as if to say she ‘wasn’t amused’ though she did find his reaction rather entertaining. If nothing else, it gave her a little breather and a chance to look upon him without him noticing that she was staring at him.

Matt finally gave a push on the saw and Clara, deciding to give him a little grief for his ‘high-tech era kind of gal’ comment and proceeded to ride the blade when he pulled back on it. That got a glare from Matt that made Clara grin just as wide as Matt had earlier.

“You’re riding again!” he growled.

With a smile that would have dazzled the silver screen, Clara piped up, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn!”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Matt stood in Clara’s kitchen, waiting until he heard the sound of the shower start up. After they had finally called the competition a ‘draw’ both of them had cleaned up the tools and dragged themselves into the cabin. Matt had insisted he fix supper, telling Clara he’d stopped by and picked up the fixings for something special before coming up there.

She’d looked dubiously at him then gave into his insistence that she use the shower first. “Dad always said, ‘Ladies first’ and if I didn’t abide by that, he’ll show up out of nowhere and smack me,” said Matt as he’d tried to convince her that it was all right for her to be the first one to partake of the warm water.

Once he’d heard her enter the bathroom, he stoked the kitchen stove to get it heating up before he moved out to the truck and uncovered his morning exploits. Under the tarp in the truck was his cooler but also five boxes of groceries that he’d purchased for her and several fifty pound bags of feed for the horses. Unloading the feed first into the barn, he then unloaded the groceries into the kitchen and did his best to quickly put them into the shockingly empty pantry. The only thing that was in there were her own canned goods and even those were scarce compared to what she might need for the winter to survive.

With that task done, he fetched the cooler full of steaks, potatoes, salad and wine. Before he could start laying out the evenings’ meal on the kitchen table, he had to clean off the papers scattered about that she had obviously left there from that morning. As he gathered them up, several hand written notes caught his attention and he stopped for a moment to read one of them.

_‘To find this love of mine, I’d walk through end and fire, forever and always  
Hollow hands reach out, for you to touch me now, forever and always  
Dead inside, my heart is so flat lined, put your mouth on mine, and breathe me back to life  
Dead inside, no other satisfies, my blood runs dry, take my life, save me from this death inside  
I can’t escape this love, I want it the way it was, forever and always  
Don’t you leave me here, alone and of this fear, forever and always  
Dead inside, my heart is so flat lined, put your mouth on mine, and bring me back to life  
Dead inside, no other satisfies, my blood runs dry, take my life, save me from this death inside’_

The words struck a chord in him that made him tremble a little as he read them again. Did she write this or was this something she remembered from somewhere else? It looked like poetry but he got a feeling it could have been made into song lyrics too. Setting it aside, he put the rest of her papers on top of the ice box and began preparing the rest of the meal.

He started the potatoes in the oven and had the steaks prepped by the time Clara stepped out of the bathroom. Within a few moments, she came into the kitchen and stopped in the doorway, blinking a little. She was dressed in a pair of blue jeans, a worn sweater and stocking feet. Her hair was wet and combed back off of her face. Surprise shown on her face as she took in the sight of the steaks sitting on the table, waiting to be cooked and then her eyes moved to the bottle of wine. Her eyes slowly moved up to Matt’s.

He grinned, “When I said I’d take you out for a steak dinner, I didn’t specify where exactly. Besides, I figured you probably wouldn’t want to drive two hours down to Tahoe just for dinner so I brought the fixings up here to you.”

Her face flushed a soft pink and she smiled a little, “This is…you didn’t have to do this you know,” she stated quietly.

“I know, but hey, what are friends for. Besides, I had a feeling you’d probably put me to work today and what better way to finish off a busy day than with a hearty meal and a little wine,” he offered with a tender smile.

With a nod, Clara moved into the kitchen, “Anything I can do to help?” she offered.

“Not really unless you wanted to stoke the fire in the living room and make a place for us to sit in there to eat.” He moved over to the papers he’d set aside earlier and pulled down the writing that had caught his attention. “I didn’t know you wrote poetry,” he said, showing her the scrap of paper.

He was surprised at how she started and flushed a deep red before coming over and snatching the piece of paper out of his fingers. “I…sometimes. I don’t let others see it though…,” she stammered, looking embarrassed or perhaps guilty over something.

“Why? It’s actually really good,” offered Matt, trying to calm her embarrassment.

With a little shrug and a slight mumbled ‘Thanks’, she reached up and grabbed up the rest of her papers and shuffled them together before taking them into the living room and putting them into a drawer in the old secretary standing against the far wall.

Matt watched her with a touch of amusement and wondered why she would be so embarrassed by a compliment about a bit of poetry. It was good and he’d liked it. But as she came back into the kitchen he pointed to the salad fixings on the table, “Want to make the salad while I go clean up? I’ll start the steaks when I come back out.”

Looking a bit more relieved that he wasn’t going to push the issue about the poetry she smiled and nodded, “Yeah, I can do that. Besides, you’re stinking up my kitchen,” she fired back gently, waving her hand in front of her nose playfully.

Matt scowled and made motions as if he was going to come towards her, “And it’s all your fault too. Just be glad you’re clean or I’d ‘share’…,” he teased.

With a laugh, she sidestepped him and avoided his ‘advance’. “Go shower so we can eat. I’m hungry,” she said in a mock growl, raising claw like fingers and pretending to herd him towards the bathroom.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dinner was everything Matt had hoped it would be. Sitting on the couch in front of the fire, eating steak and drinking wine by candlelight, he couldn’t have planned it better if he’d tried.

Clara was just tired enough and the wine relaxed her even further that she didn’t seem to mind him sitting there next to her, his arm around her shoulder as they sat in amiable silence after the meal was over.

When Matt felt her head resting against him, he looked down to see her drowsily leaning against him, her eyes watching the fire lick at the logs burning in the fireplace. The light reflected in her eyes and he hoped he could remember this scene for the rest of his life. She was a warm presence next to him, comfortable and her scent filled his nose. She smelled of fresh air and wood smoke, fresh hay and lavender.

Taking a chance, he leaned down and kissed the top of her head. That was when he felt her stiffen a little.

“Don’t,” came her words softly.

“Don’t…what?” he asked.

“Don’t take this too far, not right now. I’m not…ready,” she responded in a quiet voice, kept low as if afraid to break too much of the mood.

“Can I ask why you feel you need to keep me at arms length?” he asked after awhile, giving him time to think of why she might feel not ready.

There was silence from her for a time before she spoke softly. “I don’t trust myself. I’ve trusted people I thought had my best interest at heart, people very close to me and I’ve been hurt and betrayed by them. I can’t…bring myself to trust myself to … trust anyone right now. The wounds are too fresh. They still hurt too much.”

He took those words in and rolled them around in his mind for awhile. “I hope you would know that I’m not like that,” he responded, hoping to reason with her.

There was a slight shift as if she’d shrugged. “My heart tells me this perhaps, but my mind doesn’t want to let me get close to anyone. And right now, I’d rather be a little lonely than open myself up to someone so soon and take the chance of being cut apart again. I don’t think I could handle it.”

Matt didn’t move away from her but he remained quiet, thinking over what she’d said. Maybe this was the reason she was here. Someone had hurt her, perhaps emotionally or even physically, someone she trusted or cared for and they’d betrayed her. Could it have been a past lover or boyfriend or was it something more than that. From the sounds of her words, it was perhaps the latter and if that was the case then perhaps it might explain some things about her.

With a quiet sigh, he laid his cheek on top of her head. “Clara, I’ll admit, I’ve come to care about you a great deal. I want to get to know you better but if you don’t want me to or only wish to just be friends for now or perhaps forever, then I guess I’ll have to live by your wishes. But I wish you’d reconsider some day,” he said quietly to her.

There was silence for a time again and then a slight nod, “Perhaps someday Matt. I just need time. They say time heals all things and I’m not done healing yet…so just give me time.”

Matt nodded a little in answer to her request and had to be satisfied with that answer. It wasn’t a complete shut down and in a way it did give him some hope there was possibly a chance that things might change for the better between them. But he couldn’t push it or he’d push her away and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

TBC ---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics written in this chapter are from the song 'Dead Inside' by Skillet. They are not mine. But I suggest giving it a listen if you can find it. They fit the mood and feel of the chapter and story as a whole.


	18. Chapter 18

Clara had awakened from a pleasant dream the morning after Matt had come up to help, vaguely remembering falling asleep on the couch next to him. At some time in the early morning, she’d awakened to the sound of his pager going off, felt him stir and swear a little. As she’d groggily realized she was still on the couch in front of a fire that was now down to glowing embers, Matt shifted next to her and sighed.

“Come on,” he’d said as he carefully picked her up off the couch, “Into bed with you. Duty calls.” With that, he’d carried her half awake into her bedroom and put her to bed.

She didn’t remember much after that but when she’d awakened with the sound of thunder growling through the valley, she realized it was late morning already. She’d made her way out of the bedroom and found that the living room had been put to rights and the kitchen cleaned up though the dishes hadn’t been done; only stacked in the sink to soak.

There was a note on the table. ‘Clara – had a great day with you yesterday. Enjoyed our dinner together and sorry I fell asleep before I could do the dishes. Work calls and I need to take off. Consider going to dad’s for a few days if you don’t feel comfortable after what happened with that guy yesterday. I’ll check on you later. Matt’

Feeling how sore she was, Clara looked outside and was almost thankful for the growing thunderheads on the horizon. She didn’t think she could handle a day of splitting logs, not after the tortures of the day before. She sighed though. Just because she was sore didn’t mean she could put off her morning chores and if she didn’t hurry, all of the shavings they’d made yesterday cutting logs would get wet and soggy, basically becoming useless until they dried out again.

Getting dressed for the weather, she quickly went outside to gather up what she could and do her morning chores around the barn. She was putting away the last bag of shavings when she finally noticed the bags of feed sitting just inside one of the empty stalls. Going over to investigate, she looked around for anything else that might have been misplaced or extra. Finding nothing, she hesitantly opened one bag and gave each horse a measure of it in their buckets before gathering a couple of eggs and hurrying back across the yard to the cabin as the first cold drops of rain began to fall.

Upon entering the house, she went about stoking the fires and setting about heating water to do up the supper dishes. As she went to the pantry to fetch a jar of salsa to go with her scrambled eggs, she froze at the sight of her shelves full of canned and dried goods. Part of her mind fumed at the audacity of ‘that man’ for doing this, for hurting her pride and part of her wanted to break down and weep in thanks because she finally had enough to last her for another month or so if she was careful and could save what little bit of money she had left for when it was an emergency to buy supplies.

Slowly reaching in, she pulled out the jar of salsa she had been going for, looked again at the supplies on her shelves and quietly closed the door, almost afraid that if she slammed it, everything might disappear. The rest of her day was filled with staring out the window, watching the rain while her mind and heart were at war within her. She longed to see him again while a little voice inside her head whispered that he would only cause her heartache in the end.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

After two days of rain, the sun came out and the weather changed to being unseasonably warm for that time of year. Clara took that time to catch up on her work outside and within three days was well on her way to being almost through the stack of logs that she and Matt had cut.

The sound of an engine made her look up from her work mid-afternoon on the fifth day after Matt had been up to visit her and she’d secretly hoped that it was him. But a red Chevy Blazer rolled up into her yard and within moments a well dressed woman stepped out of the driver’s seat, pulling a briefcase out behind her.

Clara looked at the woman warily and it must have shown because the professionally dressed woman stopped after shutting the door to the Blazer and spoke. “Clara Rodgers? I’m Lisa Elliot. I believe we have a mutual acquaintance, one Mr. Cody Hawkes?” she said with a casual smile, her eyes holding a touch of conspiratorial humor.

When her adrenaline had finally dumped out of her system enough that Clara could think straight, she put down the splitting maul and walked over towards Lisa. “Hi. Uhm…I’d offer to shake your hand but I’m a bit…sweaty at the moment.”

Lisa waved the statement away and stuck out her hand, “That’s all right. It’s nice to finally meet you. Shall we go inside and talk? We have quite a bit to talk about, all of it good I assure you,” said Lisa, pausing to give Clara a reassuring smile when she saw Clara tense a bit. “But we should get to it so I can get back down to Tahoe tonight to get a room before heading back to LA in the morning.”

Clara removed her glove and shook Lisa’s hand, then motioned her towards the cabin. “Well, I could offer you my spare bedroom for the night if you don’t mind rather ‘primitive’ accommodations. It isn’t much but it might save you the hassle of having to rush back to town and possibly in the dark.” The woman’s handshake was firm and she had a relaxed ease about her that made Clara trust her almost instantly.

Lisa blinked and then smiled warmly, “You know, I think I might just take you up on that offer.”

As they entered the cabin, Clara moved towards the kitchen, “Can I offer you something to drink? Tea, coffee?” She wouldn’t have been able to offer the latter before five days ago but she’d found a can of coffee in the supplies Matt had put in her pantry and she’d been very stingy with it so far.

“Sure. Coffee sounds great,” replied Lisa as she looked around in amazement at the interior of the cabin. “This place is beautiful. I’ve often thought about getting myself a little getaway place up here. I love it up in these mountains and I’ve always envied the Hawkes men,” she joked quietly.

Smiling, Clara disappeared into the kitchen, followed by the lawyer. “It hasn’t been all sunshine and roses up here, I can tell you that. I’ve had to learn a lot in the months since I’ve been here and Jesse’s made sure I’ve learned them through the ‘School of Hard Knox’.”

There was a loud chuckle from Lisa as she set her briefcase down on the kitchen table and settled into a chair, “Oh I can just imagine that. You’re lucky to have people like the Hawkes’ to help you out. I couldn’t think of a family more suited to helping out someone like you or I learn the ropes in a place like this.”

Clara put a few logs into the kitchen stove, stoking the fire up from the bed of coals still inside then put the kettle of water on to begin heating. “If you’ll give me a few minutes, I’ll go clean up and then we can talk.”

Lisa nodded, “Take your time. If I’m going to take you up on the offer to stay for the night, there’s no rush to go over everything this instant. Perhaps if you could point me to the spare bedroom first, I’ll get settled in while you clean up and then we’ll get started.”

Clara nodded and motioned her to follow. She was coming to like Lisa more and more by the minute and it was the first true company and it made her feel just a touch giddy. With a sudden realization Clara knew that this was the first person other than Cody that she could truly be herself around. She wouldn’t have to watch her words, hide her secrets or dance around the truth as to who she really was. For once, it felt as if she had a heavy weight lifted off her shoulders, even if it was just for a short time. This meeting could prove to be interesting…

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By the time Lisa left Clara’s the next morning, she couldn’t have been more impressed with the young woman. Shandra Lee or Clara was a very competent and intelligent young woman and easily grasped the logistics of what Lisa had to show her. After Clara had shown her the spare bedroom, she’d left to go clean up her tools outside and then gone off to shower. She had fixed them both a hearty supper of venison stew and cornbread and by the time dinner was over, the two had been well into the logistics of the research Lisa had done so far. The two of them had talked until the early morning hours about Clara’s past, problems and issues that she could remember having with her manager. 

They talked about many things from Clara’s past but she didn’t seem to say much about her life once she’d arrived in the mountains. Lisa just got the feeling that it was a matter of course that the Hawkes men were helping her out and keeping her whereabouts hidden from the rest of the world until this case could be solved. The only tidbit she got from Clara was that she used to come up to this cabin that had belonged to her Great Uncle and stay over the summers when she was younger. That’s where she had met and played with Matt as kids. 

When yawns had punctuated the conversation more than words, Clara showed Lisa where things were in the bathroom and then excused herself so she could get some sleep. Lisa had watched her head off to her bedroom, thinking about how much Clara had changed physically compared to the photos and video she had seen of the young woman. Gone were the soft edges, replaced by hard muscle and a surety of movement. To say Lisa was impressed was an understatement. But Lisa also had to admit silently to herself that this place suited Clara. She ‘belonged’ here more than she thought Clara belonged in some place like LA. But she wouldn’t know for sure until she saw the woman in both settings. But this ‘felt’ right somehow.

She’d given herself a mental shake and had seen herself off to bed. Clara had gotten her up in the morning to a breakfast of omelets and fried potatoes. Their conversation picked up where it had left off from the night before and when Lisa was finally satisfied she had the last few details she needed to wrap up her research and fact finding on the case, she had handed Clara a stack of papers to read as well as an envelope with some cash in it. She still chuckled at remembering the expression on the other woman’s face.

“What’s this?” stammered Clara as she opened the envelope and drew out five hundred dollars in twenties.

“Call it a loan. A little birdie told me that your funds were very low and if there’s a chance you might have to stay up here over the winter, you’re going to need a way to buy supplies until this case comes to court and we can get you safely down to LA,” replied Lisa.

“But…I can’t accept this! What if they win? What if I can’t pay you back?” said Clara, looking almost terrified at the money in her hands. She should be angry with Cody for having told a complete stranger about her lack of money but all she could feel was embarrassment, as if she incapable of managing her own finances well enough to keep herself from needing charity from others.

Lisa found this almost hilarious due to the fact that most rock stars wouldn’t even blink at holding five hundred dollars in their hands. Here was a popular, big time singer trying to hand the money back as if it might bite her. “Then call it a gift, a favor. If things don’t go well and we lose the case, well, you can always invite me up here to stay for a weekend or two to pay me back. But honestly, they haven’t a prayer of winning. You’re in the right and they are in the wrong. Have faith. It’ll all work out in the end.”

It took a little more convincing on Lisa’s part but finally Clara had taken the money and tucked it away, her hands trembling slightly. Lisa hadn’t missed how pale she’d become and wondered if she’d be all right. Finally it had been time for her to say her farewells and leave, though she did so somewhat reluctantly. She truly was rather fond of these mountains, but she had a bit of a drive back to LA and she had work to do. 

As she pulled into the gas station in South Tahoe to refuel, pick up a can of soda and a granola bar, she saw one of the High Mountain Ranger vehicles pull up behind her as she finished putting the gas nozzle in the holder on the pump. A tall blonde headed man stepped out and walked towards her with a wicked little grin to his face.

“License and registration ma’am,” he drawled playfully.

“On what grounds, Commander Hawkes?” asked Lisa as she handed the money to the attendant that came to give her a receipt.

“On the grounds that you were in town and didn’t stop by to see us,” said Matt as he leaned up against her rented Blazer.

Chuckling, she looked him over. He was looking really good. “Well I was only in town only for a few hours to help Cody out on his ‘pet project’,” she said, doing little finger quotes around ‘pet project’, “But I’ll be back in town a few more times as things progress. Maybe we can….” The look on Matt’s face suddenly made her stomach feel like it had a lead weight in it, cutting her sentence short. 

He looked startled, then almost scared. “Pet project? What pet project?” he asked suddenly, fully alert, all playfulness gone.

Lisa swallowed, “I’m sorry Matt. If you don’t know then it’s not my place to say.”

“Why not? Does this have something to do with my dad or my brother? What’s this about?” he said, his voice low but demanding, sounding worried.

“No, it has nothing to do with your dad or your brother but the rest I can’t say anything about. It’s called ‘client confidentiality’. If you don’t know what this is about, then I’ve said way too much already,” replied Lisa, her nerves a tight ball. Cody hadn’t said anything about Matt not knowing. She had just assumed he knew since the Hawkes men were all a tight knit group and didn’t seem to hide anything from each other.

Matt’s face turned slightly red, then white. “Sorry Lisa. Guess I need to have a talk with dad and Cody. Didn’t mean to snap at you.”

Lisa let out a breath. She could only hope that Cody and Jesse would let Matt in on all of this and she’d be off the hook for ‘letting the cat out of the bag’ so to speak. “It’s all right. I need to get going. I have a long drive back to LA.”

“Drive safe,” was all Matt could manage to say as he turned on his heel and strode off towards his Bronco. 

Lisa got into her vehicle and watched him for a moment as he left. She swallowed and took a moment to take a deep breath. What had she just done?

TBC ---


	19. Chapter 19

Robin was staring out the window when she saw Matt pull into his parking place. Her body tensed a little as she saw him climb out of the Bronco and slam the door in a manner that radiated anger.

“Uh oh…,” she said in a low voice.

“What?” came the response from Avila who was checking the weather computer.

“Matt looks pissed about something,” came her quiet response.

Before Avila could ask anything else, Matt came through the front doors like the proverbial ‘bull in a china shop’ and made a bee-line for his office. 

Robin made a ‘scared’ face at Avila who shrugged and the two remained quiet, going back to ‘looking busy’ so not to suffer Matt’s wrath if something was really wrong.

Matt came back out of his office several minutes later, “Avila, I’m taking the day off. I need to go up to my dad’s. I’ve got something I need to do. I’ll have my radio with me if you need to get in touch with me.” His gaze shifted to Robin and then back to Avila before he turned and walked out the back door, heading towards the barn, slamming the door behind him.

Avila whistled softly, “Holy shit. I haven’t seen Matt that mad in a long time. Last time he was that mad was over that fiasco with that Russian skier.”

Robin got up out of her chair and walked to the back of the station to look out the window, “Looks like he’s taking his horse up there. Think we should call Jesse and warn him Matt’s coming?”

Avila shook his head, “Normally I’d say yes but in this case, it’s obviously something that if we stick our noses in it, we might find them cut off.”

The blonde Ranger watched as Matt led his white gelding out of the stable and mounted. With a kick to the ribs, the horse leapt into a trot and she followed him with her eyes until he disappeared into the trees, heading up towards Jesse’s.

“Yeah, I think you’re right…,” came her quiet reply as she made her way back to her desk, fretting at her bottom lip, wondering what had her CO so worked up.

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Jesse sat at his sewing machine, working on mending several bits of harness while Cody sat and worked on his studies. Free time was at a minimum now that ‘school’ was back in session for his youngest and with it being his senior year, he needed to focus to prepare for his SAT’s as well as his final exams. 

The weather had been unseasonably warm the last few days, making it hard on both of them to be inside but Jesse knew he had to keep Cody focused through these first few weeks of lessons until the routine of his studies was set again for the year. He cut the threads to the harness and removed it from the machine. He heard Cody shift again in his chair as a warm breeze blew through the open windows of the cabin, scented with evergreen.

“Getting hungry?” asked Jesse as he got up from his task, setting the fixed harness aside. 

“A little,” came the reply from the other side of the room.

“I’ll make us some lunch. Finish up your worksheet and you can call it quits for a few hours,” said Jesse as he moved towards the kitchen. As he went to the icebox to pull out some sliced beef from the roast a few nights before, he heard the sound of horses hooves coming up along the trail. They sounded out the rhythm of someone going from a trot to a walk and was still a ways out, the warm air carrying sound a little farther today than normal.

Setting the meat back into the ice box he went around to the front of the cabin and looked out the window. A white shape crested the ridge and then disappeared behind a hillock before reappearing again. “Matt’s here,” called Jesse as he moved towards the front door, hearing the scrap of Cody’s chair as he stood up from the desk in anticipation of his brother coming to visit.

By the time Jesse opened the front door and stepped out onto the porch, Matt had ridden up to the railing and was sliding out of the saddle. It only took a split second for Jesse to read Matt’s body language and then his face to know something was wrong. There was a tension to Matt and a slow anger burning in his eyes.

“Matt,” said Jesse. “What brings you here?” He crossed his arms, leaning against the door jam, blocking Cody from leaving the cabin. For some reason he had a feeling whatever Matt’s reasons for being here, it wasn’t going to be good.

“Where’s Cody?” came the simple question out of Matt’s mouth, frustration dripping from them.

Jesse’s entire body tensed. “He’s here with me, studying. Why? What’s going on Matt?” He had to defuse this before he let Matt anywhere near Cody. He needed information first.

“You tell me dad,” came Matt’s reply as he stepped up onto the porch, taking a few more steps so that he towered over his dad somewhat, allowing him to see over his head and into the cabin. His eyes met Cody’s from behind his dad. “I was in town this morning and met Lisa Elliot. She accidentally let it slip that she was in town to help Cody out on his ‘pet project’. When I questioned her about what that was, she suddenly clammed up and wouldn’t tell me anything further saying that if I didn’t know anything about it then she couldn’t break client confidentiality.” Matt’s hands flexed a little bit. “So you tell me. What’s Cody been up to that’s got a big time lawyer like Lisa Elliot coming up to Tahoe to help him with?”

Jesse blinked at this news and his whole body went tense. From the corner of his eye he caught the slight cringe from Cody and knew Cody was involved in something and he hadn’t bothered to tell anyone else about. 

“Well son, seeing as I don’t happen to know what this project is either, I can only assume that it must not be anything too life-threatening or we’d have known about it by now. Why don’t you rub down your horse and come inside. We’ll talk about this and see what Cody has to say.” Jesse suddenly wanted answers to this mystery as well but he knew that ganging up on Cody would get them nowhere other than stubborn-headed silence. Besides, he still needed to defuse Matt’s anger and get him to calm down before he came inside.

Matt ground his teeth, looked over Jesse’s shoulder at Cody and then down at his dad. “Fine, but you better have some answers for me Cody…,” Matt called out to his brother as he turned and made his way back over to his horse, grabbing the reins and headed towards the barn with him. 

Jesse watched Matt for a moment and then turned, his eyes looking at his youngest warily. “I don’t know what you’ve been up to Cody but there had better be a very good explanation for this.”

His youngest paled a little and swallowed nervously but gave no indication as to what this was all about.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Cody sat on the edge of the couch while Jesse sat in the chair opposite him and Matt leaned against the fireplace mantle, his arms crossed in a defensive posture. Oh, this wasn’t going to go well, he could just feel it in his rolling guts.

“So tell me Cody. Why would a high priced lawyer like Lisa Elliot be here in Tahoe, helping you out?” These were the first words out of Matt’s mouth since he’d entered the cabin.

“Because I called and asked her to help,” replied Cody after he’d swallowed. He loved his brother but he hated the feeling like he was being interrogated.

“And just why would you need her help? What is this pet project she jokingly mentioned to me about at the gas station this morning?” asked Matt as he shifted to fully face Cody, his green eyes flashing with a bit of anger.

Cody did his best to meet those green eyes with his blue ones. He couldn’t tell Matt. Clara hadn’t given him permission to tell anyone but Lisa. “Because someone needed help,” came his reply. He had to stall and find a way to say things without really ‘saying’ them.

“Who needs her help?” snapped Matt, his shoulders bunching a little.

“I can’t tell you that. I wasn’t given permission to tell anyone but Lisa,” said Cody as he shifted, trying not to flinch under the onslaught of that stare.

“How are you planning on paying her for her help?” asked Matt, a little gruffer perhaps than he’d planned.

Now Cody was on a little more solid ground here, “I’m not paying her. I was just the go-between. Someone needed help. I knew someone who could help and I made the connection between the two. That’s all.”

Matt turned a little and paced away then came back to where he’d been, “WHO needed help and why? She’s a criminal defense lawyer. Is there a murderer or someone accused of doing something illegal hiding out here in the mountains that I need to know about?”

Cody shook his head, “Just because she’s a criminal defense lawyer doesn’t mean that’s the only kinds of cases she takes. And no, there’s no one hiding out here that’s done anything illegal.” Cody felt himself tense up just a little. He was managing OK right now. He had yet to give anything away but Matt was getting more worked up and he was pushing harder for answers. He silently prayed Matt wouldn’t put two and two together and get Clara.

Matt was silent for awhile. “It’s Clara isn’t it,” came Matt’s words finally after the silence had stretched on for several minutes. “She’s the only one you know up here other than Aaron and Bill. And I know neither one of them are in need of a lawyer much less would accept the help of one. You’ve practically spent half your summer with her.”

Cody felt his stomach clench as his heart nearly slammed to a stop. Matt had guessed but how could he keep from giving it away that his guess was right. He shrugged, “I can’t tell you who it is Matt. Like I said, I wasn’t given permission to tell anyone but Lisa.”

Matt ground his teeth. “How is it that you seem to know so much more about her than anyone else, huh? Why will Clara open up to you and not me?” The words were obviously out of Matt’s mouth before he could stop them. His face burned red with embarrassment and frustration.

Cody could only stare at his brother, knowing somehow he’d given the answer away. He then began wondering what had been going on between Matt and Clara lately. Did he just see Matt become jealous over the fact that Cody knew more about Clara than he did? Didn’t Matt know that Clara only talked about Matt when Cody was around? It was Cody’s turn to flush. Of course he didn’t. Cody never told Matt that and now it might be too late.

Cody shook his head as if in denial but Matt only slammed his hand down on the fireplace mantle and stormed out of the cabin, heading to the barn.

“MATT!” yelled Cody as he tried to jump up off the couch to follow after him.

“Let him go son. Nothing you say now is going to stop him,” came Jesse’s quiet voice. “But you do have some explaining to do to me.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Jesse remained silent, watching the exchange between his two sons. Silently, he was a bit proud about how Cody was standing up to Matt and in a way that was answering Matt’s questions and yet wasn’t betraying the confidences that had been bestowed upon his youngest by someone who trusted him.

Jesse had been watching Cody when Matt had guessed that it was Clara and saw the slight shift in his body and his iris’s contract in fear. His law enforcement instincts picked up on the subtle hints that were so ingrained in him even after all these years, to know when someone had just realized they’d been caught hiding something, that something had hit close to the mark. Jesse knew Matt had seen it too. It was all the proof Matt had needed to know he’d hit the mark.

When Matt had slammed his fist down and stormed off, he’d seen the panic in Cody’s eyes. It was a panic born out for Matt and for Clara. The two people Jesse knew he cared about and perhaps hoped to see together one of these days were about to have a confrontation that might be the end of everything.

Getting his youngest son’s attention, he had to do the hardest thing and tell him to let Matt go. Matt was a grown man and had to make his own choices and decisions. If Clara was hiding something than it was by her choice, her decision and she had to live with the consequences. She had asked Cody to cover for her and he did, but at what price? She could have been honest with Matt and none of this would have happened. On the flip side, Matt could have let Clara be Clara and trusted her to come to him when the time was right and explain everything but things were out of hand now and one way or another it would come to a head on its own.

When Cody turned his blue eyes to look a Jesse, he saw the fear and pain in them. “But…,” came Cody’s response.

“Sit down Cody. I need some answers and you have some explaining to do. You might be able to keep secrets from Matt but I don’t care what you’ve promised Clara, I need to know what’s going on. I need to know, even if it’s nothing more than for her own safety,” said Jesse as he listened to the sound of Matt’s horse take off out of the barn at a gallop.

Cody sagged against the couch and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. Finally the young man looked at him and stood up. He went over to his desk and opened a drawer, then came back over and handed Jesse a cassette tape of a group called ‘Red Sky’. Pointing to the picture of the band on the front of the tape, he directed Jesse’s eyes to the woman standing amongst them in the front. “That’s Clara.”

Jesse studied the picture for a minute and motioned for Cody to sit down. “All right. Start from the beginning.”

TBC ---


	20. Chapter 20

For once, Clara decided she was going to treat herself to a holiday of sorts. The weather was too perfect for her to be spending it on chopping wood, though she did feel a touch guilty for not working. She’d just had a guest that had brought her good news and she felt energized, like things were finally going her way. 

She spent a lazy morning around the cabin, picking up and putting things away, opening windows to air out the place with what might be the last of the warm weather until next spring. She set a pot of beans to soaking to make soup for tomorrow and went looking through the secretary for her little chicken scratches of paper and notes. After collecting them all, she stuffed them into an empty journal book and took them outside with a pot of tea and a pencil tucked in behind one ear.

Flopping down in the chair on the front porch in the spot of sun, she stretched out her legs and propped them up on the railing. Humming one of her songs to herself, she opened the journal and began to sort through her scribbled lyrics and notes to start rewriting them into some form of legible content. She had some good stuff in there, especially the one that Matt had found and said he liked was one of her better ones so far. She could hear the tune already in her head and she needed to start making notes of key changes and timing.

The sunbeam slowly progressed across the porch and she found herself shifting her chair along with it to maximize her time in it. Sure she got a lot of sun by being out working in it but just sitting in it to enjoy the day was a whole other experience. Her stomach rumbled at one time and she got up to fix herself a peanut butter sandwich before resuming her place on the porch and continuing working on her current project. She smiled to herself once as she compared herself somewhat to a cat, stretched out to sun themselves, not having a care in the world for awhile.

She felt a little drowsy by early afternoon and considered going in and stretching out on the couch to nap since it had been a late night and early morning with her guest. As she closed up her book, a flash of white in the distant trees caught her attention. She blinked and put her hand to her forehead to shade her eyes, hoping to get a better look at what might be out there.

Seeing it again, she grinned as she recognized the horse before she recognized the rider. Matt was coming to pay a call. Standing up from her chair, she gathered up her dishes and journal and took them inside as he made his way towards her cabin. Her heart was hammering a little faster at the thrill of seeing him again when she stepped out onto the front porch to greet him, giving him a wave as he rode into the yard.

But as he drew up to her front porch, the adrenaline that began to push into her system to make her heart beat faster wasn’t the kind she wanted. The dark look on his face made her stare at him for a moment as he slid out of his saddle. That look hadn’t lightened any by the time he came around the back of the horse and towards her, coming to the base of the steps.

She shivered a little as if the joy she’d felt all day had been sucked out of her, “Matthew. And to what do I owe...this pleasure?” she asked hesitantly.

Matt looked at her for a long moment before speaking. “Care to tell me why a big shot lawyer like Lisa Elliot was in town to see you?”

The bottom of her world suddenly dropped out from under her. 

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It was all Matt could do keep from running his horse all the way to Clara’s but he knew it wasn’t fair to the beast to work it this hard so once he was a mile out away from his dads, he slowed the white gelding down to a trot, then a walk as he realized he needed to think things through before he confronted Clara about what was going on.

His thoughts were a tangled mess at the moment, all swirling around the one person he thought he could truly have been happy spending his life with. He shied away from that line of thought for awhile and tried to focus on what he knew about Clara. She had said very little about her childhood after she’d left that last summer she’d spent up here with Jake but what she had said basically boiled down to the fact that her parents had turned her into a miniature adult, never allowing her time to be a kid. What would make parents do that to a child? He had nothing there.

He knew someone had hurt her, probably emotionally and had betrayed her. How, she wouldn’t say but it must have been bad enough to make her want to leave whatever it was she had before now behind. She came up here with barely a thing to her name. Everyone had seen that. Her truck had busted within hours of arriving and she hadn’t replaced it, simply relying on her horses to get her to wherever she needed to go. She pinched every penny until it squeaked and then some. She tried to be generous when she had guests but they had all seen what a strain it had been on her resources. 

Nothing went to waste around her place and yet how the hell could she afford the services of a big time criminal defense attorney or any lawyer for that matter. He doubted Lisa did charity cases. She was a nice person but he really didn’t see that being her style. There was some form of payback in this for her somehow or she wouldn’t be helping Clara out.

Matt ground his teeth. But what did she need help with?! Cody had said that there was no one hiding in the mountains that had done anything illegal so Matt could only assume that he had meant Clara in that statement. If anyone would know, it would be Cody since he seemed to have the whole scoop on what was going on.

That was the other thing that made Matt’s fist ball up and hit his thigh. Cody! He knew what was going on and he hadn’t said a word. Promises or not, if Clara was in trouble, he should have said something to someone about it. Instead he kept Clara’s secret and refused to utter a word about any of it. 

His whole body was stiff with tension. It wasn’t fair! Why the hell would she tell Cody and yet not trust him, trust the one person that wanted to be closer to her than anything. She’d said she didn’t want to get hurt again. If she’d just tell him the truth there’d be no reason for her to be scared of getting hurt. 

His mind continued to work over all of the little things she’d said and done, all of the details and questions he had as he rode, keeping his horse at a steady pace. He was no closer to the answers as he finally rode into view of her cabin.

Seeing her sitting on the porch in the sun, he paused for a moment but as she looked up, he nudged his horse forward. He watched her as she shaded her eyes in his direction then got up and took her things inside. She came back out and stood on the porch waiting for him, smiling as she gave him a little wave as if excited to see him.

But he now knew that she was hiding so much more and all the thoughts of not knowing exactly what that was and that his kid brother knew exactly what was going on brought all his feelings of frustration and jealousy back to the forefront as he rode up to the hitching post. When he’d come around to face her he knew it had shown on his face by how her face had suddenly gone pale and there was a look of wariness to her features.

At her simple question, his answer brought a response he wasn’t ready for. He had expected that once he’d confronted her with the fact that he knew something she’d just open up and tell him everything. What he wasn’t expecting was to see all her mental walls go up as her arms suddenly cross over her chest, her chin stubbornly jutting out a bit.

“It’s none of your business,” came her reply, sharp and angry.

“To hell it isn’t,” he growled back at her. “A big shot criminal defense lawyer like that up here to see you? What the hell are you into that you need her help?”

Her eyes narrowed, “I’m not into anything. This doesn’t concern you!” she snapped back and turned on her heel, retreating into the cabin.

Following, Matt moved up the stairs. “How is it then that my kid brother knows more about you than anyone else? Do you feel safer telling your secrets to a teenager than someone like me who wanted to get to know you?” He saw her move across the floor then stop.

She stopped for a moment, “I didn’t ‘tell’ him anything if you must know. He figured it out on his own and confronted me about it.” She turned and looked at him, “But I guess I can’t even trust his word to keep quiet or you wouldn’t be here,” she said, a hurt, angry look to her eyes.

“He’s kept your god-damned secrets. I happened to run into Lisa at the gas station this morning and she let it slip she was in town to help Cody out on his ‘pet project’. When I asked her what she was talking about she refused to say anything else, telling me she’d said too much and going on about client confidentiality. I then go talk to dad and Cody. Dad doesn’t know a thing about it and Cody dances around my questions just as good as you do. I finally put two and two together and got you!”

She huffed a little then moved to the other side of the couch as if to put a barrier between them. “Like I said, it’s my business and none of yours. I don’t have to tell you anything. I haven’t done anything wrong if that’s what you’re wanting to know.”

“Then why the hell do you need Lisa’s help? How the hell are you going to afford to pay for her services? You can’t even afford to buy supplies for the winter much less afford ten minutes of her time,” Matt snarled. If she had been playing them all for fools, he’d just been the biggest one, having felt sorry for her and had filled her pantry.

Her face flushed a deep red, “That’s between her and I. And before you ask, no I don’t have some hidden stash of money. What I came up here with was all I had to my name,” she snapped, looking embarrassed, angry and hurt.

Matt put his hands on the back of the couch and leaned in, “Then trust me and tell me what the hell is going on. I want to know so I can help,” he said, trying to reason with her.

She didn’t look at him, “There’s nothing you can do to help. Besides, I’ve already told you that I don’t trust anyone really right now, not even myself. This it’s none of your concern but I was going tell you in time what it’s about but not now.” Her arms were crossed defensively over her chest.

Growling, Matt shoved off the back of the couch and pushed his hands through his hair, “Dammit Clara. I cared about you. And then you do this to me. Now I don’t know what to think.”

She blinked, her whole body going tense as she turned cold eyes on him. “You ‘cared’? What? You don’t now? That’s just great. You know what. I don’t need this. I don’t need YOU. I don’t need anybody. Just get out and leave me the hell alone!” Her arms uncrossed and she pointed towards the door.

“Don’t be like that. That’s not what I meant and you know it!” Now he was flustered and frustrated. This wasn’t going the way he had wanted it to. “I do care about you. I just want you to trust me.”

She balled up her fists and kept her arms straight, tightly pressed against her sides as if afraid she might haul off and slug him, “Every time I’ve trusted someone it’s ended up with me being the one hurt. I’m tired of being the one getting dumped on and torn apart. So you know what, you can just take your ass right on out of here and leave. If you can’t trust me enough to just let me do my thing at my own pace and just believe in me enough to tell you things when I felt the time was right, then get the hell out of my house.”

Matt stared at her and ground his teeth in frustration. “You can’t label me and stick me in the same box as those that hurt and betrayed you before. You’ve not even given me a chance to prove myself to you. But if that’s the way you want it, fine. I don’t need this kind of crap. If you can’t tell me the truth about yourself and what’s going on then it just shows me you can’t trust me with anything else. I thought trust was a two way street.”

Clara crossed her arms and half turned away from him, not looking at him perhaps to hide how much that last jab had hurt. With anger rising in his gut, Matt spun on his heel and stalked out of the cabin and back to his horse where he climbed into the saddle and kicked the gelding into a gallop as he tore out of the yard.

From a distance, a pair of narrowed brown eyes tracked Matt’s progress out of the house, watching with interest as rode out of the yard…

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Clara’s throat kept threatening to tighten up and choke her as Matt stood there yelling at her. Her hopes and dreams were crumbling around her feet and she couldn’t force the truth out past her stubborn lips. His words stung and simply added fuel to the fire already burning in her guts that made it even harder for her to tell him what was really going on.

Her heart was pounding in her chest, part of her brain screaming at her to tell him while the rest of her was shaking and reminding her of the past, of all that had been done to her and what she had escaped. Did she really want to go through that again, all that pain and heartache when he found out who she really was? She had wanted him to want her for who she was, not what she was, and now? Now there didn’t seem to be a prayer of that happening, claimed her cold intellectual self. Better to nip it now then let it go on and have a harder fall later.

As she watched him storm out the door, she stood there for a few moments, then turned and walked with stilted movements to the front door. Part of her screamed to run after him, to stop him and spill it all out but again, that cold part of her kept her in check, dredging up the memories of her recent past, the pain of the betrayal she’d felt. She only caught a glimpse of him as he disappeared into the trees and then he was gone.

She didn’t know how long she stood there, her arms wrapped around her as if to shield her from the pain of what she’d just done. Finally she simply stepped off the front porch and started walking, not stopping until she came to the overlook to the valley that Cody had shown her. It was the perfect spot as the overhang was surrounded by trees, framing in the picturesque mountains in the distance and the green spreading valley below.

Sitting in the late afternoon sun, she felt numb as she looked out over the picture perfect beauty. For once it didn’t bring any peace to her. She watched as the shadows grew longer as the afternoon sun moved across the sky towards the west. Her mind was such a jumble of thoughts and her heart full of conflicting emotions that she finally could do nothing but stare blankly at the world and think and feel nothing.

The sound of footsteps behind her brought her out of her slight stupor. She knew of only one person who would have found her here. “Go home Cody.”

The footsteps hesitated for a moment and then continued, “You all right Clara?”

“Not really but I’ll survive I guess,” she said as she turned her head and looked at the young man who came up behind her.

“I’m sorry Clara. I swear I didn’t tell him anything.” Cody looked miserable and a touch nervous.

Her blue eyes looked at his for another minute and then turned away to look back out over the valley, “I know. Matt told me he’d seen Lisa and she let it slip, that he’d gone to see you and you hadn’t told him anything…that he’d figured it out.” She gave a deep sigh and pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. She felt Cody sit down next to her, felt his presence there beside her.

“I know I promised not to tell anyone but I had to tell dad. I hope you’re not mad at me,” came the quiet words, the silent plea for forgiveness.

She shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t care. This is such a mess now anyway. I wouldn’t...I couldn’t seem to bring myself to tell Matt the truth. He left angry and upset at me. I’ve no idea what he thinks of me now but I doubt there’s any hope for the two of us. I’ve kind of ruined all hopes of that.”

Cody was silent for a time, “Matt just needs time to get it out of his system. Give him a few days and he’ll realize he was being an asshole and start beating himself up over things he said and the way he acted. He’ll either be too embarrassed to apologize, thus requiring my assistance to get him to do so or he’ll find a way to make it up to you.” She could hear the slight smile and an almost cocky assuredness to his words.

Clara looked over at him then away before she shook her head, “No Cody. I don’t think so. Not with what was said between us. Besides, it’s probably better this way. I’ve no idea what the future will hold with the court case or its outcome. I might have to go back to LA for awhile or have to finish out my contract with the studio. That’s another two years and at least one more album.” She took in a slow breath and let it out. “So maybe it’s for the best that it ends this way. I’m sure there’s someone better out there for him anyway that doesn’t come along with so much baggage.”

She saw Cody staring at her out of the corner of her eye and for once he didn’t respond to her. She couldn’t tell if he was angry at her or just upset. He sat there for a few more minutes. “Guess you have it all figured out then don’t you,” he said, standing up and brushing off his jeans, his voice sounding on edge. “Just going to wallow in self pity and give up without a fight.”

Her head snapped around and looked at him, her mouth hanging open a little as she moved to stand up. “If that’s what you think…,” she started to say.

“It doesn’t matter how the rest of us feel about you so long as you don’t have to tell anyone anything about yourself, you can just hide away up here on the mountain, hoping you don’t have to face your past or your fears or the pain someone caused you. That’s the easy way out.” Cody moved a bit away from her, “You had a good thing going with someone who cared for you, wanted to be with you and wouldn’t have cared who you were before you came up here. You’d already proven who ‘Clara’ was. But instead of telling Matt the truth, you hid behind excuses and it might have cost you the one good thing worth having around here…,” he said as he turned to move away.

“Cody! That’s not fair!” called out Clara as she made to follow him.

Cody turned to stare at her, his eyes looking sad and yet with a touch of hurt, “I kept your secret and look where it got me. Matt’s pissed off at me now because I know who you really are, I know more about you than he does. And because of that, I’ve probably lost some of his trust. So I don’t want to hear about something ‘not being fair’ Clara.”

She stopped and stared at the young man before her, frowning at the implications of his words. He turned and walked away then, disappearing into the trees. She stood there for a few minutes and watched where he’d vanished, wondering if he’d come back. When he didn’t and a cool breeze blew across her skin, reminding her that evening was approaching, she shivered and wrapped her arms around herself and trudged her way back home.

After closing the house up for the night, she crawled into bed and buried her head under her pillow, simply wishing for midnight to come and go so that it would finally be the official end of the worst day since coming here. Sleep eluded her until the early hours of the morning as Cody’s words echoed in her ears. She tossed and turned, trying to deal with everything that had happened to her that day. The worst part of it all was her feelings of guilt at possibly having come between two brothers and maybe having pushed away the only one who had proven to her to be trustworthy.

When sleep finally came it was to the sounds of thunder as it rumbled across the valley and icy raindrops hit the windows, echoing the misery she felt inside.

TBC ---


	21. Chapter 21

The sound of a quarter dropping into a payphone could barely be heard over the sounds of music coming from the front of the bar. As fingers dialed the number a female voice screeched with laughter somewhere out front. The man standing at the payphone hunched farther into the shadows cast by the lack of a light bulb he’d unscrewed earlier on his way to the back by the bathrooms where the phone was located.

As he spoke low into the phone for a moment, requesting it to be a collect call, someone shouted in anger at the football game being shown on the TV above the bar. The man waited as his nose wrinkled with the scents of the back hallway, of bathrooms that hadn’t seen a good scrubbing in weeks, from vomit someone had tried to use strong chemical disinfectant to clean off the hallway floor and of stale beer.

Finally the man’s call was answered and he straightened just a little. “Yeah, I found what you were looking for. Right where you told me she’d be.”

He was silent as the receiver buzzed with the voice of the recipient of the call.

“Yeah, piece of cake. Got there just in time this afternoon to hear her in the middle of a heated argument with her boyfriend...,” there was a pause before he continued. “No, I didn’t hear what was said. She had all the windows open to the house. They were in the living room. If I’d tried to sneak up to be able to listen in, someone would have spotted me.”

Silence reigned again as he waited for the receiver to finish speaking. He sighed and answered a question. “They argued for a few minutes and then he stormed out, jumped on his white horse and took off….” He paused as another question was asked. “Yeah, I recognized him. They have these guys up here they call High Mountain Rangers. They’re like federal cops that do search and rescue too up in the mountains. He’s their Commanding Officer, Matt Hawkes.”

There was another pause before the man growled, “Yes I’m sure! Only one tall blond haired man wearing a Ranger jacket like that. They got some ‘Hall of Fame’ in the pizza joint here for the police, the Rangers and local athletes. Articles and pictures of them all over the place. Not hard to miss him.”

The man shifted, a hand coming up to pull his sweatshirt hood over his head a little tighter as the ear piece buzzed with the other person speaking. “Yeah, after they were done arguing, she walked off into the woods and I took a few minutes to poke around her place. She’s living pretty bare bones. Didn’t find anything of interest. Looks like she’s been cutting her own fire wood and canning vegetables of all things. No vehicle. Just a couple of horses.” The man snorted almost as finding all of this a crude joke.

He stiffened then as the receiver buzzed with the other voice. “That’s going to cost you extra. I’ve already done what you wanted me to.” He paused then growled, “That will cost you double. That kind of work ain’t cheap! Too much chance at getting caught or it going wrong.”

The voice on the other end of the line raised in what was apparent anger and the man simply stood there, hunched a little and his whole manner spoke of disgust.

“Fine. I’ll take care of it but once it’s done, we’re done. I’ll call you when I’ve taken care of it.” With that, he slammed the handset down on the payphone, used a rag from his pocket to wipe the receiver down and then walked out of the back, tossing a couple of dollars on the counter of the bar. As he left, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his hooded sweatshirt, his face hidden in the shadows of the growing clouds that obscured the sunset.

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By the time Matt got back to the Ranger Station, the rest of the Rangers already knew about Matt’s hasty exit earlier that morning. Avila had been the one to see Matt ride up to the barn, his horse looking exhausted and though he had taken the time to walk his horse, cooling him down, he had obviously seen quite a few miles that day.

Avila stood on the back porch, loading up his arms with firewood since he knew they were in for a wet couple of days. As Matt entered the barn, he opened the back door and headed inside with his load. “Matt’s back guys and you better be looking busy and have things in top shape. I think he’s madder now than he was when he left this morning.”

This got Avila a few worried glances as several of the Rangers quickened their steps to get things cleaned up, organized as if preparing for inspection. Matt wasn’t one to get angry easily. He always seemed to have a level head and kept his cool. There were times, however, when something set him off and when that happened one usually kept out of his way until he’d had a chance to calm down and cool off.

As Avila came in with his second armload of wood, Matt came through the back door. The frustration and anger seemed to radiate off of him though he still kept a somewhat impassive face. With nothing more than a glance around the station, his long legs took him across the floor and up the stairs two at a time. Several moments went by before the sound of the bathroom door closed and water could be heard coming from the shower.

Izzy gave a soft, low whistle. “Wow. I’ve never seen Matt like that. I wonder what happened up at Jesse’s place.”

The rest of the Rangers looked at each other in stunned silence as that same question echoed in their eyes as they looked back to the stairs where Matt had disappeared only moments before.

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“I’m buying pizza tonight,” came Matt’s voice from the kitchen door an hour after he’d gone upstairs. “What’s everyone want?”

This statement had startled the Rangers who were trying to decide what to do for supper. Matt had moved quietly up behind them before he’d spoken and it had caused at least two of the five standing around to jump. They hadn’t expected to even see Matt for the rest of the evening since he had officially taken the day off and was still ‘off duty’ until midnight.

Once the shock wore off, it only took ten minutes to put together an order and call it in. “Want me to go with you?” asked Jimmy as Matt headed towards the door.

Matt reached for his black leather jacket and shook his head as he pulled it on, “I’m a big boy. I can handle this. I’ll be back in less than an hour. Think you can hold it together till I get back?” he asked, trying to joke though it seemed to fall a little flat to his ears.

Jimmy smiled a little, “Sure,” was all he could manage, not really wanting to push things too far to get Matt to talk to him about what was going on.

Matt headed out the door into the dark that had been brought on early by the storm clouds rolling in. Climbing into his black pickup truck, he headed towards South Tahoe and their favorite hangout, Papa Murphy’s. The team usually went out to eat once a week if the time allowed but every once in awhile it was nice to bring it to them with an extra order of cheesy bread sticks and a couple of Calzones for leftovers in case things got a little crazy during bad weather.

By the time he pulled up to the restaurant, the place was already busy with the evening’s customers, forcing him to have to park around the block. He was honestly glad he’d decided to just order out. He didn’t think he was up to dealing with a crowd tonight. Pushing his way through the door, he headed to the counter. After paying the cashier, he picked up the five boxes of pizzas before heading towards the door.

He narrowly avoided getting bowled over by two roughhousing kids and their harried looking mother. She’d apologized and tried to wrangle in her kids before they could cause any damage, causing him to smile a little, thinking back to a time when he and Cody used to roughhouse like that. But that little thought brought a pang of frustration and hurt to him that seemed to want to open the floodgates to the memories of everything that had happened that day.

The wind had picked up some by the time he left Papa Murphy’s and made his way down the block towards his truck. He shifted his jacket a little higher to ward off the chill. As he approached his truck, he absently noticed that it was darker than it had been when he left. Looking up, he realized the streetlight was out. He could have sworn it had been on when he’d parked there but he knew these things went on and off with a whim. Just as he thought that, a light a block down winked out for no apparent reason.

He unlocked his passenger side door and pushed the boxes into the front seat and shut the door. Walking around the back of the truck, he got to the driver’s side door and unlocked it. His hand was on the handle when he had a split seconds warning that he wasn’t alone. But with his mind elsewhere, he wasn’t prepared for the hand that had grabbed his hair and slammed his forehead into the doorframe of his truck.

He swore as he saw stars for a moment and then he spun as he attempted to backhand the person behind him. As he turned to attack, a fist connected with his jaw, knocking him back into the doorframe of the truck again, causing him to stumble. A second punch to that same spot slammed his head back into the truck one last time, making his world gray out for a moment as he sank to the ground.

Whoever had attacked him knew how to do it and do it quickly, efficiently and with a minimum of movement. As Matt struggled to get himself righted, he felt the person grab the back of his head by his hair where he’d felt his head slammed previously into the truck and gloved hand grabbed his face, squeezing his sore mouth and jaw that had begun to bleed.

A mouth close to his ear harshly whispered, “Now we’re even….” With a quick jerk the man, by the sound of the voice, shoved Matt back to the ground, gave him a kick to the ribs and took off at a fast walk into the shadows of a nearby alley while Matt tried to gather himself and his confused thoughts together.

_‘Now we’re even?’_ What the hell was that supposed to mean? Who the hell had he pissed off now? His head spun as he worked to stand up, feeling blood run down his chin to splash onto the concrete underneath him.

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Jimmy began to pace the floor when forty-five minutes went by and no Matt. When an hour went by, he began to worry. It didn’t take an hour to go and get pizza. “Something’s wrong,” he said to the other Rangers who were sitting around the fireplace, either trying to watch the TV or read.

“Jimmy, sit down. He probably just got held up at the restaurant,” explained Robin. “It is a Friday night and it’s usually packed in there at this time of night.”

Walking over to the window, Jimmy stood and stared out it for awhile before he began to pace again. Something wasn’t right and he didn’t know why he thought so. It wasn’t like him to feel this way when Matt went out just to get pizza. Matt wasn’t the kind to go out and get drunk because he’d had a bad day. That wasn’t it. Was he just being over reactive?

When an hour and a half went by, the rest of the Rangers were beginning to fidget as well and he knew that they felt it too. Finally a pair of headlights pulled in and they heard the slam of a car door and then a second. But the level of the headlights wasn’t right and the engine didn’t sound right for Matt’s truck.

Sheriff McBride was the first person that came through the door, carrying the five boxes of pizza from Papa Murphy’s, followed by a rather disgruntled and banged up looking Matthew Hawkes. Matt still had that dark look to his eyes but they seemed a little unfocused as if he were a touch dazed. The ice pack he held to the back of his head gave the biggest indicator that someone had tried to scramble his brains a little that night.

“What happened?!” barked Avila before Jimmy could find his voice.

Mike smiled in his kindly way. “Seems someone decided to take a few swings at Matt…caught him off guard is more like it. I’ll let him give you the details but I didn’t want him driving home. The paramedics don’t think he’s got a concussion but he got the back of his head slammed against his truck a couple of times so no sense taking chances.” With that Mike pulled out Matt’s keys and put them on top of the pizza boxes he handed over to Izzy.

“Fran at Papa Murphy’s was kind enough to even reheat your order before we left,” said Mike with a chuckle. “Whelp, I need to get back to work. I’ll check back with you in a day or so Matt but I don’t know how lucky we’ll get at finding anything out about this guy.”

Matt nodded slightly, “Thanks Mike,” was all he said and winced at the swollen lip. He had already made his way over to the couch and sat down, reaching up a finger to touch his lip and wince again. Jimmy came out of the kitchen a few moments later and handed Matt a cold wet washcloth for his lip.

As Mike left, Robin came over and looked down at Matt. There was concern in her voice as the others found places to sit as pizza was distributed. “You don’t strike me as the type to get into pizza room brawls, so what happened?”

TBC ---


	22. Chapter 22

It had done nothing but rain for the last two days. The storm system that was stalled out over the Tahoe area was finally moving out according to the radar but it had left everyone feeling chilled to the bone and everything sodden. If it wasn’t in a downpour with high winds that made the rain come at you sideways, it was that light drizzle that seeped water into everything.

Matt’s mood seemed to emulate the weather and the Rangers had been avoiding him to the best of their abilities. It was if they were almost afraid to breathe around him for fear he’d turn his heated glare upon them. No one had full details about what had happened but they had managed to piece together that something had happened between him and Clara.

What exactly? No one had a clue. And to top it off, the night he’d come back from her place, he’d been attacked outside Papa Murphy’s when he’d gone to pick up their pizza order. They still had no idea what that had been all about. He’d been blindsided and roughed up before the guy took off, leaving Matt with a bloody lip and a lump on the back of his head. This had darkened his mood even further to the point it was like walking on egg shells around the station.

Night was slowly closing in as the Rangers settled in and finished up their chores, fixing supper and relaxing. Matt was shut up in his office where most of the team hoped he’d stay for a little while longer as they went about their evening routine. Avila fiddled with the weather radar computer, checking the status of the system that had been dumping the rain on them for the past two days. Robin washed up the last of the dishes from supper before she left for the night while Izzy mopped up the kitchen floor. Hart and Jimmy took turns doing a quick clean up of the rest of the station and once they were done, Jimmy settled down on the couch to turn on the TV to watch whatever might be on that caught his fancy. Hart wandered over to the pool table, preparing to set up a game with Avila when the pilot was done with the weather readouts.

Jim flipped through the channels till he came to the MTV station and he watched a couple of the videos while the others milled about, watching what was on or doing other things. Jim’s attention was on his own thoughts when the last video came to an end and the MTV news came on. He was always interested in the news about who’s who in the entertainment world and so he brought his attention back to the television.

_‘Mystery continues to surround the disappearance of Rock Star sensation Shandra Lee, lead vocalist of the group ‘Red Sky’. Her long time manager, Kurt Randall, still claims that she is on a sabbatical to relax and recuperate after their last world tour but her friends and band members have other thoughts on the matter.’_

As the reporter spoke, several pictures flashed across the screen of the beautiful woman known as Shandra Lee posing for the cameras, by herself, one with her band and several of her on stage. One caught Jimmy’s attention immediately, making his heart feel like it suddenly slammed to a stop in his chest. As the reporter went on to interview one of the band members about her, Jimmy worked to get his mouth open to say something, his hand raising up to point at the television.

“Guys! It’s…It’s Clara! MATT! Jesus…It’s Clara!” he babbled as he kept his eyes glued to the television set as the band member went on explaining about how Shandra Lee had made no mention of going on a sabbatical and didn’t even seem like she needed one, how she was laid back, easy going and never seemed stressed out. The fact that her manager wouldn’t let them even know where she was or how to get in contact with her made them all suspicious and that no one had seen her in over six months had them all worried.

Jim heard the shuffling of hurried footsteps coming up behind him as people crowding around the TV, questions being whispered amongst themselves as Jim grabbed the remote and increased the volume on the TV. The manager, Kurt Randall was being interviewed now. _‘Shandra wanted some down time after her last tour before going into the studio to record the band’s next album. She likes her privacy and just because she hasn’t been seen doesn’t mean she’s missing. When she’s ready to come back, she’ll be back and when I’ve spoken to her, she has assured me that she’ll be back with a vengeance and ready for another tour after the next album is cut.’_ The smile the man gave the camera looked perfectly relaxed, calm and cool.

Several more pictures flashed on the screen. _‘Shandra Lee is the former actress that played young ‘Felicia Jones’ in the popular series ‘Crash Point’ that ran for five seasons. A year after the series ended Shandra Lee burst onto the music scene with a hit album ‘Crank It Up’ that went platinum last year. ‘Red Sky’ finished their first world tour eight months ago and was preparing to head back into the studios to record a new album when Shandra Lee seemingly dropped off the map. So the question is….just where is Shandra Lee? Missing or on sabbatical?’_

When the news reporter went onto the next story, Jimmy flipped the television off and turned to find five sets of eyes looking at him from disbelieving to skeptical. “What? Don’t you believe me?” he asked incredulously.

“Well you must have seen something to make you think that it was Clara but what little of the pictures we saw went by so fast it was hard to tell if that was really her or not,” said Avila, trying to not make fun of Jimmy but wondering what Jimmy thought he’d seen and what had made him think Clara was some famous rock star.

Blinking, Jim looked at them. “I swear. They showed a photo of this Shandra Lee. She had her hair pulled back and half covered. The face in that picture was Clara. I swear.”

“Why would a famous rock and television star come all the way up here, live off next to nothing, spend her days chopping wood and try to live off the land? Shandra Lee must have millions, especially if her first album went platinum already,” said Robin as she stood there with her arms crossed, looking as if she wasn’t buying one word of it.

Matt had remained silent but it was obvious that something was going on inside his head. “Wait right here…,” said Jimmy as he dodged around the couch and headed towards the stairs.

“Where you going?” yelled Izzy.

“To prove to you I’m not crazy!” called back Jimmy.

The sound of feet pounding up the stairs left them all in silence as they looked at each other in that awkward moment as everyone tried to figure out if one of their fellow Rangers had just lost his mind. After a few minutes, the sound of feet pounding back down the stairs heralded Jimmy’s return. In his hands he held an issue of People Magazine. He made a quick detour to Matt’s office and came back out with the picture Cody had taken of Clara.

He brought both over to Matt and flipped the magazine open to a large photo with the title across and down the side, ‘TV Star to Rock Star – The Shandra Lee Story’. The photo was the face of a young woman, her head tilted up a little as she smiled for the camera, with blonde curly hair tossed over one shoulder. Jimmy handed Clara’s photo to Matt then folded the magazine in half so that only the face of the woman in the picture was visible. Holding the magazine against his chest so that the picture faced everyone else, he covered up her blonde hair with his hands. The look of shock and recognition from the others was instantaneous, none more so than Matt’s.

“I told you!” crowed Jimmy. “It’s Clara!”

There was silence in the room for a few heartbeats until Izzy broke it with a simple question. “Why is she here then? I’ve never heard of anyone taking a sabbatical like that.”

Matt took the magazine from Jimmy and put it on top of the picture frame. He was still silent as he flipped through the pages of the article. He finally looked up at the others and saw they were all watching him. “Lisa Elliot was in town two days ago. I saw her at the gas station and she let it slip that she was here helping Cody out with something. Since I know Cody isn’t in any legal trouble or Dad would have said something, I put two and two together and realized it must have something to do with Clara. I confronted Cody about it but he was as tight lipped about things as my dad, maybe even more so. Dad didn’t even know what was going on. So I went to see Clara and she told me it was none of my business…”

Avila whistled softly, “No wonder you came back hotter than 4th of July fireworks.”

Matt frowned a little but looked down at the magazine. “If her band is saying she’s missing while her manager is saying she’s on sabbatical…and Lisa Elliot is up here to see her for some reason, I’d say she’s either in trouble or hiding from someone or something and it’s big enough to get the attention of one of the top ten lawyers in California.”

Silence settled amongst the Rangers for a few moments as the implications of what Jimmy had just uncovered began to sink in.

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Matt sat in his office, looking out the window at the blackness beyond, his mind elsewhere. The picture of Clara and the magazine article on Shandra Lee sat on his desk, ignored for the moment. He had spent the last two days trying to forget about the argument he’d had with Clara but the revelations of this evening had brought everything rushing back to the forefront of his brain.

Rain splatters hit the window panes and trickled down in slow runnels. He’d sent his Rangers off to bed early. The rain had taken its toll on everyone and he knew that as soon as it stopped, people would be out in force, trying to get in the last few days of activity before the first snow of the season. As he sat there and listened to the silence of the station, his brain kept slamming to a stop at that one big question, ‘Why hadn’t she wanted to tell him who she really was?’

He reached to the side and picked up the magazine and pulled it into his lap, looking down at it. Slowly, he turned the pages to the article inside and re-read it for the third time. As he did, the little pieces of a larger puzzle began to click into place. His mind kept playing over little snippets of conversation he’d had with her, things she’d said to him over the last few months as he thought about some of the facts and where they fit into the whole picture.

_“I was forced to grow up too quickly. They wanted a perfect miniature replica of themselves to fit their perfect life at the time.”_ According to the article, she’d been in commercials since the age of eight and then doing bit parts in movies and TV shows by the time she was eleven. Hell, at age fourteen, she’d landed a major role in a TV series that had lasted for five seasons. Perhaps her parents forced her into this when all she wanted to be was a kid. He couldn’t imagine having to have such responsibilities by the time he was eight. His only concern when he was that young was playing with his little brother and riding his horse. At age fourteen, he was playing Junior High football and getting ready to head into High School.

His mind kept jumping from one connection to another. Thinking of football made him think about how his coach had made them take dance lessons. That thought brought images back about when he’d danced with her that day after they’d finished unloading the trucks and trailers up at her place. He’d been the one rather rusty and having to make up things on the fly while she was obviously the one professionally trained to ‘go with the flow’ and improvise. Her movements had spoken of someone who knew what they were doing.

The thought of the music they’d danced to led his mind to suddenly latch onto the words on that ‘poem’ she’d scribbled on a scrap of paper on her kitchen table. At the time he’d even thought it might make a good song. _Dead inside, my heart is so flat lined, put your mouth on mine, and breathe me back to life._ It suddenly felt like he’d been hit between the eyes since that’s exactly what it had been…the lyrics to a song. He could still picture how she’d blushed and quickly snatched it out of his fingers to go hide it away from view.

But thoughts of those blushes and that day up at the cabin brought memories of another kind. He’d wanted to get to know her better, to be closer to her but she’d kept him at arms length, even that night they’d sat by the fire after supper, _“I don’t trust myself. I’ve trusted people I thought had my best interest at heart, people very close to me and I’ve been hurt and betrayed by them. I can’t…bring myself to trust myself to … trust anyone right now. The wounds are too fresh. They still hurt too much.”_ It had to have been someone close that had hurt her, but who? The article talked about the couple of relationships she’d had in the past few years and one thing stuck out as he re-read some of it. She was never the one to leave the relationship. The other person was the one to always leave her. Was this what she was talking about? He sat there for awhile and mulled it over. It didn’t seem to feel right. Maybe a little part of it, yes but not all of it.

That would leave just her manager, her parents and her band to have had close enough ties to her to have possibly caused her to have a sense of betrayal. But from what they’d seen on the TV that night, he just couldn’t see it being the band. They seemed genuinely worried. There was no news of them breaking up or having stress amongst them. They’d been together since the beginning though she was the youngest of the group.

Then Matt’s mind remembered something about the interview with her manager. _‘Shandra wanted some down time after her last tour before going into the studio to record the band’s next album. She likes her privacy and just because she hasn’t been seen doesn’t mean she’s missing. When she’s ready to come back, she’ll be back and when I’ve spoken to her, she has assured me that she’ll be back with a vengeance and ready for another tour after the next album is cut.’_

Since coming up here, she hadn’t received any phone calls to be sent to her over the radio. They kept logs of such things and nothing had ever come through. If that was so, then how was he contacting her? As far as he knew, she’d only been to town twice since coming to live here. Both times she had been in the company of Jesse and Cody. Granted, he didn’t know if she’d made any phone calls while with them but if she had, they might have heard something being said sooner, cluing them in on who she really was. Jesse had never given any indication that anything was out of the ordinary with those two trips to town and he’d been in the dark about Clara just as much as Matt had been when he’d been up at his dad’s cabin two days ago.

So assuming that she hadn’t made any phone calls, how was her manager speaking to her? This began to make his gut twist and he knew that there was something wrong with that situation. Was this the answer as to why she was running or had disappeared? Or was there something else that he was missing completely? Without talking to her, he had no idea and wouldn’t until he went up to see her tomorrow. But if it was, then it might explain some things.

Running a hand through his hair, he thought back about their argument only a few days earlier as he’d accused her of telling Cody everything. It was then that he suddenly remembered her response to that accusation and at the time it had confused him. But now…now it made perfect sense. _“I didn’t ‘tell’ him anything if you must know. He figured it out on his own and confronted me about it.”_ He thought about that for a few moments and then it dawned on him. Cody had come down a few months ago, just after they’d gotten cable TV. It had been the day that Cody had shown up then left after Izzy had shown him how to work things using the remote. Izzy said he’d watched MTV for awhile and then shut it off before leaving. His dad had mentioned something later about Cody having gone to the library to do some research on photo journalism instead of waiting around.

Matt smirked at that and then almost laughed. The little brat had figured it out. He must have seen something on MTV, either a music video of ‘Red Sky’ or a news blip about her missing and recognized her. He took off and went to the library to do some research and then confronted her about who she was. Out of all of them, he’d put it all together. No wonder he’d promised to keep her secret.

Matt turned in his chair to hunch over his desk as he sighed and rubbed his eyes. He had to be proud of Cody for that much. He had kept his word to her. It must have been a pretty big secret to carry around and if she’d apparently needed help, he’d found a way to get it to her without anyone being the wiser until he’d run into Lisa. If it hadn’t been for that little slip, none of this would have ever happened.

He winced then at another little memory at the last time they’d met when he’d finally confronted her, wanting to know what the hell was going on. _“Every time I’ve trusted someone it’s ended up with me being the one hurt. I’m tired of being the one getting dumped on and torn apart.”_ He sighed and ran his hands down his face then winced as he bumped his sore lip where he’d been slugged. Damn, it still hurt.

He would have to make it up to her somehow. He was embarrassed to admit it but he’d been a real jerk towards her and he had no idea if anything he said now would ever fix what he’d said or done. He planted his elbows on the desk and buried his head in his hands, silently cursing himself for saying the things he had to her.

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A knock came at Matt’s door a few minutes later and before Matt could call out Jimmy opened the door and looked inside. He saw Matt lift his head from his hands to stare at him, a silent question as to why he was there written on his face.

“You doing ok?” said Jimmy as he stepped into the office.

“Honestly, I don’t know Jimmy. I probably just screwed this up so badly that there’s no unscrewing it,” said Matt as he closed the magazine and put it on the edge of the desk in front of Jimmy.

Flopping down in the chair in front of the desk, Jimmy picked up the magazine and looked at his commanding officer. “How so?”

With a sigh, Matt sat back in his chair. “I said some things that I probably shouldn’t have. She’s told me a couple of times that she doesn’t trust others. She’s been hurt and doesn’t trust herself to trust anyone to get close. I was just starting to see some cracks in that armor and then…,” Matt spread his hands a little. “I saw it all slam shut in my face.”

Blue eyes watched him for a minute. “Listen, go up tomorrow and talk to her. Take the magazine with you. Confront her about it. See what she has to say. But don’t push her.”

There was a sound of frustration from Matt, “I don’t know. I guess what gets me is why she wouldn’t just tell me about all of this. Why wouldn’t she just tell me who…what she was? It’s not like it would have changed anything between us.”

Jimmy raised a black eyebrow, “Oh? Tell me something Matt and be honest. Would you have been willing to get to know her if you knew from the start she was some big Rock Star? Would you have taken the time out of your schedule to show her how to fix her ceiling or go up and help her cut wood? Or do you think she’d be too stuck up for you and not even make an attempt to get to know her?”

Matt was silent as he thought it through. “I don’t know Jimmy. I wouldn’t know how I’d be until I’m in that situation. I’d like to think it wouldn’t matter. But once I confronted her, why didn’t she just tell me?”

The other man shrugged, “Perhaps it was a matter of pride by then. Who knows with women? I know I read a lot of romances but seriously, it doesn’t mean I understand how they think. Maybe she was just scared it would change things between the two of you, make you think of her differently. Maybe she was afraid you wouldn’t want to be around her any more. Personally, I get the sense she’s scared, period. She’s out here, all alone without any safety net and away from all that she grew up knowing. She’s had to learn how to do things all over again, how to live a life so different in most respects to what she was used to and that maybe she was just starting to finally feel like she was getting a handle on things. Maybe she wanted to prove to herself and to everyone else who she really was before she came out and said ‘This is who I used to be.’ It’s really hard to say.”

Matt mulled these things over for a few quiet moments, his eyes unfocused as he thought things through. With a sigh, he looked up at Jimmy. “I’ll go talk to her tomorrow morning. Right now I need sleep.”

Jimmy stood up and looked at Matt with sober blue eyes. “Let me just give you this one piece of advice. Before you go up there, you better be sure of your feelings for her. Not about what she is or who she used to be or what she’s kept from you or why. You need to be sure of your feelings about who she is now, who Clara ‘is’. If you go up there and you’re not sure of yourself and what you feel for her, she’ll sense it. It’s your one shot to make things truly right with her…if that’s what you want.”

Blinking, Matt looked up at his fellow Ranger in surprise. There was no look of mirth or joking on his friends face and for once, he knew his friend was serious about his advice. Matt nodded hesitantly and sighed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Thanks Jimmy.”

TBC ---


	23. Chapter 23

Clara had spent the last two days out in the cold and damp taking her frustrations out on the last few remaining logs left to split. On the second day after the confrontation with Matt, it had misted on and off all day and she expected it to begin freezing that night with possible snow in the next day or so. 

She was still upset and hurt over Matt’s sudden appearance the afternoon after Lisa had left, demanding to know why she needed a lawyer. Clara had been so close to telling him everything but his demands to know what was going on had done nothing but raise her hackles and clamp her mouth shut over any words of explanation. She hadn’t slept well the last few nights as her conscience played over things in her mind, making her second guess herself, fret and pace the floors when she wasn’t busy trying to find things to do to keep her mind off of the things said. Her appetite was gone and she found it hard to choke down toast and soup much less anything else.

In her hours of walking the floors and fussing over things about the cabin, she finally came to the realization that she just had to suck it up and tell Matt the truth. What more could it hurt? He already didn’t trust her and perhaps didn’t want to be around her now because of their argument. She might as well pull the band-aid off the rest of the way and be done with it.

She had tried to reason out logically why she didn’t want to tell him who she was and in the end, it boiled down to the fact that she wanted him to respect her for who she really was, not who she used to be. All anyone ever saw of Shandra Lee was a blonde headed bimbo that had a great voice and pretty body that looked great dancing up on stage. They never wanted to look past the wrapper to see what was underneath. She’d tried to tear that wrapper off when she’d come up here to prove to everyone up in the mountains that she had substance, that she was a fast learner, was smart and could take care of herself. She thought she’d done all of that but she was still deathly afraid that the moment she told people who she had once been, that they would only start to see the wrapping again and forget about the woman underneath. 

It also had also dawned on her that she didn’t want to be ‘Shandra Lee’ any more. She had had her fill of jostling crowds and loud noise, screaming fans and flashing lights. She had enjoyed over six months of peace and quiet, fresh air, hard work and good food in the mountains and she finally admitted to herself that she had come to love it up here. When this court case was over with, she was done. She was coming back here to live. She didn’t care if she had a penny to her name. The cabin was hers and she’d make it work somehow.

That resolution was what made her decide that she was going to ride down to the station the next morning if the rain managed to stop to go talk to Matt. She would tell him everything and if he didn’t want anything to do with her then she was no worse off than she was right now. If he did, well she’d cross that bridge when she came to it.

By the end of that second day, she was done with as much as she could do outside before the first snows of winter. She had worked through the day to get finished and by the time she put her tools away and shut up the barn, she was soaked to the bone and shivering from the cold. A hot bath had helped to stave off the chills but she couldn’t seem to get truly warm, even wrapped in two blankets in front of the fireplace. 

Finally she fixed herself a cup of tea and drug herself off to bed, taking the lamp with her. There was little else she could do other than to go to bed early and hope she didn’t come down sick with something. Once settled into bed, she took the book she’d been reading off the night stand and opened it, trying to plow through the next chapter while she drank her tea. By the time she was done with her tea, she’d given up reading as a lost cause and set it aside, turning down the lamp. She felt herself finally begin to warm up under the multiple layers of blankets on the bed and drifted off, wondering if there would be the first snow on the ground by morning.

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It felt like she’d only just closed her eyes when the groan of the floorboard next to her bed alerted her that she was no longer alone in her room. Startled she attempted to sit up, only to feel something hard slam into her face under her left eye. She heard herself cry out and fall back against her pillow and the weight of someone on top of her now pinned her arms and body tightly beneath the layers of blankets. She struggled to comprehend what had happened, her mind still confused with sleep and her head pounding in agony from the blow.

Light flared in front of her face and the beam of a flashlight shown down at her, obscuring her view of the person above her. She squinted against the light, her cheek throbbing in time with her heartbeat. “Who are you? What do you want?” she growled, trying to sound like she wasn’t scared and by the sounds of it, failing miserably.

The cold voice that answered her nearly made her racing heart stop from recognition and fear. “When you disappeared, I thought I had lost the goose that had laid the golden egg. It cost me a small fortune to cover up the fact you were gone and then when your stupid band members started going to the press, it cost me even more to keep the press convinced that you were alive and well. Thankfully the private investigator I hired managed to track you down. Come to find out, your drunken doped up parents forgot to mention you’d inherited this nice little piece of property.”

“Randall…,” she breathed. Her heart was racing now. Oh god. He’d hired an investigator who’d traced the will back here and had come to check it out. Her mind swirled in a thousand directions at once. It stopped on the only person who had been here…the sleazy man in the Lincoln Continental. In a panic, she struggled again to get free of the covers on the bed, to escape, to fight back but he had the upper hand and was using it to keep her in place.

“But you’ve outlived your usefulness to me. Well actually, you did several years ago but I figured I’d just keep milking things for all I could get and then some day there would be this tragic plane or bus crash that would claim your life and your parents and I would cash in on the life insurance policy we have out on you,” he said, giving a little chuckle as she heard a round being chambered into a gun.

She couldn’t find the words to fight back verbally. Her whole body was shaking as sweat formed on her skin, adrenaline pumping through her. She strained to get her arms free of the blankets while she worked to get her legs untangled in case she could push up with them to throw him off. He quickly put a stop to her movements as he slammed the butt of the gun against her right cheek this time, causing her head to snap to the side. She was sure she had heard bone crack under the blow and the pain made her cry out as she went limp with the shock of it.

“When I found out where you were I had one of my men come up here to keep an eye on you for the last few days. He witnessed that little lovers spat of yours with that blonde federal cop.” He paused for dramatic effect then spoke again. “It seems your blonde lover got into a bit of a fight in town. Too bad he’s missing a little blood and hair. Next time someone comes to visit, it’ll be to find you stiff and cold. The forensics team will be called out to investigate and it’ll be interesting to see how your boy toy will explain why his blood and hair were in your bed and you shot with his personal revolver from under the seat of his truck…the one he probably forgot to check to see if it’s missing after he was roughed up. Wouldn’t it be lovely if he were framed for your murder?” came the smooth, nasty voice from above her.

Her whole body had gone stiff with true fear, her face throbbing in time with her racing heart. “You…can’t do this…If you’re going to kill me just do it but don’t make it look like he did it,” she said, trying to sound brave. “Please.” She tried to put as much pleading into it as possible, hoping he might have at least a little compassion to grant her that much of a last request if he was really going to kill her.

“Oh but I will since it will be all the more attention off your grieving parents and I and onto someone else.” He paused to chuckle a little. “I have to ask you though, was life so bad with me around that you had to run away from everything I’d given you and for you to make me look the fool?” he said, his voice coming out with a bit of a snarl. She felt him begin to move, shifting as if to get off the bed, perhaps to put enough room between himself and her to avoid getting himself soiled with her blood when he did the act of killing.

“Yes,” she spat out at him as her only answer and in that moment, she felt him finally shift off the bed. Before she could take another breath, she was already moving, trying to roll to the side away from him and off the bed, out of the line of sight, out of the light of the flashlight and into the dark where he couldn’t take aim.

The sound of the gun going off echoed loudly in the bedroom and the burning sensation in her left shoulder was like nothing she’d ever felt before. She cried out in pain as she felt herself falling half out of bed, her head slamming into the floor. Her head throbbed and she thought she blacked out for a moment because when her eyes focused again, she was laying face down, her legs tangled in the covers still up on the bed. 

She could only thank god for years of acting lessons. Even in the pain she was in, she remained absolutely still with her eyes wide open, staring under the bed and her mouth half open in a gasp. She could feel blood running down her shoulder and neck and into her hair. Schooling herself, she worked quickly to slow her breathing, taking very slow shallow breaths, using her diaphragm to work instead of moving her shoulders or body when she breathed.

The sound of footsteps came around the side of the bed and the light shown down on her. “Bitch,” said Randall with hate in his voice. There was a moment of silence and then the sound of a chuckle echoed through the room as if he found the position she fell in extremely funny. Moving away from her, he seemed to busy himself with something on the other side of the bed for a moment. She could only assume he was planting the evidence he had that would implicate Matt. When he finished, she heard the footsteps coming back over towards her and the light shown down on her for another long moment. 

“What a great story this will make my dear. Such a tragic end. Boo hoo. Your parents and I will just be devastated,” came the snide comment as he stood over her at the foot of the bed. 

When she thought she could no longer hold her drying eyes open or deal with the pain of her injuries, the light turned away and she heard his footsteps leave the room. She quickly shut her eyes but remained still as she listened as his footsteps made their way to the front door. Within moments, he was gone and she took a moment to let tears roll down her face as she tried to deal with the pain of her face and shoulder. He had hit her in the left shoulder but had missed her heart and if she hadn’t bled out yet, he’d probably missed any major arteries. She was still bleeding steadily and being upside down like this for so long was not helping matters. She’d lost a decent amount of blood by the evidence of what was in her hair and on the floor under her head and shoulder.

She had to get help. But first thing was first, she had to get free of the covers and get to the radio. She could only pray that Randall didn’t have a scanner with him.

TBC ---


	24. Chapter 24

“HLN 994 calling KLM405 come back…”

Jesse had awakened earlier to the sound of what he thought was a quiet voice but he wasn’t sure. He had begun to drift off when it came again and this time he sat up in bed, listening intently for it to come again. 

“HL99…4 calling …KLM…405….Pllleeeease…come back.”

When the call came again, the call letters being for Clara, the stuttering in her voice and the pleading, he knew something was terribly wrong. He staggered up out of bed, pulling his jeans and flannel shirt off the bed post as he made his way to the radio.

Grabbing the mic off the desk, he pressed the button on the side. “This is KLM405 responding. What’s wrong HLN994? Over.” While he waited for her to respond, he quickly slid into his clothing, ignoring the chill of the cabin.

There was a long moment of silence before a tired, frightened voice came back over the radio. “HLN994 to KLM405…,” she paused then, perhaps trying to gather herself. “The rain came early…really hard,” she’d whispered the last part. “The creek’s flowing out of its banks…over.” It was in the code he’d drilled into her for emergencies when someone might be listening in that you didn’t want to know what was really being said.

Jesse had expected any number of things but the coded message she sent nearly made his heart slam to a stop in his chest. Someone had attacked her, she was hurt and bleeding. “CODY!” he hollered before he responded.

“KLM405 to HLN994…how bad is the creek overflowing and where? Over,” asked Jesse, his voice with an edge of fear to it now. He heard his youngest stumbling around upstairs at his dad’s sudden yell. 

“HLN994….to….KLM….405…,” she panted into the mic, “…it’s overflowing enough to make a bit of a mess…shot out at...back of the property. Over.” She was bleeding, shot in the back and would need immediate medical attention.

“KLM405 to HLN994, message received. We’ll get a team together to bring sandbags. Over and out.” 

Before Jesse could turn the channel over to call the Rangers, Cody stumbled down the stairs. “What’s wrong dad?” he asked, looking half awake.

Without looking at Cody, he flipped the channel to the Rangers’ direct frequency. “It’s Clara. Someone attacked her and she’s badly hurt. I’m radioing the Rangers now. I need you to saddle the horses and prepare for night riding. We need to get there ASAP. ” With that, he didn’t give his youngest a second thought. He knew Cody would gather himself together and get out to the stable as soon as he was finished dressing and ready for the weather.

“Papa Bear to Flying Tiger or Pocatello Kid, come back.”

The radio squawked a few seconds later, “This is Flash. What can I do for you Papa Bear?” 

Jesse heard Cody head to the door to pull on his boots and coat, then answered back, “Flash, we need to have a powwow up at that place where Ace took that picture you like so well? Over.”

“The one with the great scenery Papa Bear? Over” came back a slightly joking voice of Jimmy.

“Papa Bear to Flash, yes. The rain came hard up there. The creek flowed out of its banks and apparently it’s shot out the back of the property, overflowing enough to make a bit of a mess. Powwow should happen as soon as possible for sandbagging operation. Over.” He used call signs and the coded message because he wasn’t taking chances that whoever had hurt Clara might have a scanner. If she had used the code, so would he.

There was a split second of silence as the severity of the situation sank in, “Flash to Papa Bear. Powwow being organized. Will see you there with equipment. Over and out.” Gone was the jovial sound to Jimmy’s voice. He knew this was serious and Jesse trusted the Rangers to do their job.

Jesse tossed the mic on the table and headed to the door, finding his boots by the back door and shoving his feet into them as he worked to pull on his thick jacket. Grabbing his rifle and Cody’s as well, he headed out the door.

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Jimmy had been relaxed back at the radio desk, coffee steaming in a cup next to his hand as he read a romance novel he’d just picked up a few days before. It was his turn for the night shift and he was prepared to settle in for a good read. After the revelations of the evening, everyone had wandered off in a semi-state of surprised shock and the station had fallen silent earlier than usual.

Matt had come out of his office two hours ago and hadn’t said more than ‘Good night’ to him as he passed, heading towards his bedroom. He looked like someone who’d had a long night of contemplation and possibly still had quite a bit yet to do.

Turning the page, he picked up his mug and was about to take a sip when the radio crackled to life with Jesse’s voice. He glanced at the clock on the wall and realized that it was almost midnight. Setting his coffee down, he picked up the mic to respond. 

The short exchange that came next left Jimmy feeling cold. As soon as the message had been received and confirmed, he was out of his chair and running up the stairs, heading for Matt’s door. Not even bothering to knock, he opened the door and stuck his head in.

“Matt. You need to get up….” He didn’t continue since he knew he needed to wait for Matt to sit up so that he was fully awake before telling him the rest of it.

It took Matt only a few seconds to come awake and he groaned a bit in pain as he sat up, still sore from the beating a few days ago. He swung his legs out from under the covers to put his feet on the floor before he reached over and turned on a small bedside lamp. “What the emergency?” he asked as he winced at the light, rubbing his forehead a little.

“You’re dad called.” Jimmy saw the immediate snap to full alertness by the way Matt’s entire body tensed. “He sent a coded message but the gist of it was that Clara’s been shot, apparently in the back and is in need of medical attention. He and Cody are already on their way there on horseback.”

By the words ‘Clara’s been shot’, Matt had leapt out of bed and was pulling on his clothes as he let Jimmy finish speaking. “Get Avila up and monitoring the weather. I want to know if we can get the chopper in the air and how soon.” That was all he said before he pushed past Jimmy and headed downstairs at a fast walk, his whole body tense.

Within minutes, Avila was up and on the computer. “I’m sorry Matt. This storm won’t clear for another hour minimum, more like two. It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just the rain but the winds are going to make it nearly impossible to get off the ground until it passes.” 

Matt swore something colorful under his breath, pacing as his shoulders tensed and flexed due to tension and nerves. Hart came down the stairs looking a bit blurry-eyed since Jimmy had taken the liberty to wake him to make sure someone was up to monitor the radios in case they could take off at any time. 

“Fine. Keep monitoring the situation but at the first chance, get that chopper airborne,” Matt growled and headed towards the door, reaching for his coat. “I’m going to drive up there in case you can’t get in the air.”

Hart caught the look of panic in Jimmy’s eyes and stepped forward, “No, you’re not. Jimmy, you drive. Matt, you ride shotgun.” At the look Matt shot Hart, he put up his hands defensively. “Look, you’re too worked up over this already, Matt. We don’t need you missing a curve on that road in this weather and at night.”

Matt looked at the others and saw them nodding then pursed his lips before growling, “Then let’s move…now!” There was no further room for argument as he flung the back door open and stormed out into the rain that was still coming down, the wind whipping it sideways.

Jimmy gave Hart one last look as he reached for his own jacket and headed out the door, making a grab for the keys off the peg for Matt’s HMR Bronco. The look Hart returned silently told Jimmy to keep Matt safe but to be prepared for the worst.

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“Clara? It’s Jesse,” echoed his voice in the dark cabin. Jesse and Cody had ridden as fast as they could in the dark and managed to get to her cabin in just over an hour. 

There was no answer and since he wasn’t greeted with a gunshot, he slipped inside. “Clara?” he called again as he flicked on a flashlight he’d pulled from his saddlebag before entering. 

What he saw in the stark white light of the flashlight made his heart hammer faster. A long smear of blood came from the bedroom to the radio and it tapered off as it moved to the couch in front of the fireplace. Sitting on the floor, wrapped in a blanket and wedged between the chimney and wall to keep her sitting upright, was Clara. The whole left side of her neck and face was covered in drying blood and her hair dark with it on one side though all of it looked damp with sweat. Two dark marks marred her face, one forming under each eye and her face looked swollen. She was trembling, shaking as if chilled to the bone. Otherwise her skin was sickly pale and her eyes were closed. 

“Cody! Get in here!” he called to his youngest as he made his way over to her. She had obviously wedged herself tightly into the corner in hopes of putting pressure on the wound with the blanket as a bandage to staunch the flow of bleeding since she couldn’t reach the injury any other way. Carefully he stretched out his hand to touch her neck to check her pulse. Her body jerked when his warm fingers came into contact with her cold, damp skin. Her eyes opened a little. “J..j…jesss…,” she tried to stammer out. He kept his fingers on her pulse point, finding it to be thready and somewhat weak. Her chest rose and fell in small rattling breaths. 

“Shhhh Clara. It’s all right. We’re here. Need you to stay awake. Can you do that?” asked Jesse in a calm voice as he used his flashlight to check her pupil reaction and saw that it was sluggish as well.

She nodded slightly, “C…cold…fire…went out…,” she complained a little.

“Don’t worry Clara. Cody will get it started in a minute.” He moved closer and worked to assess her a bit more. Her eyes had a slightly unfocused quality to them and she was slow to respond to the snapping of his fingers in front of her face to get her attention. “Come on, we need to put pressure on this wound to keep it from bleeding out any more,” he told her in hopes of keeping her attention on him. 

He heard Cody coming into the cabin and come up behind him before he heard the sound of their first-aid kit being set next him. “Cody, help me get her onto the floor, then call the Rangers and give them the code that we’ve arrived, that she’s alive but they need to hurry. Then come over and hold the flashlight so I can get this packed and sealed up with a pressure bandage.” 

With Cody’s help, they carefully pulled her out of the corner and lowered her to the ground. It said a lot about the state she was in when she didn’t even make a token sound of pain as Jesse situated her on her right side so he could get a better look at her left shoulder. As if on autopilot, Cody went over to the radio to call the Rangers as Jesse began to ask Clara questions to get her to focus to stay awake.

“Who did this to you?” was the first question out of his mouth. He heard Matt’s voice on the radio giving them their ETA and Avila giving a quick update on the weather. He tuned that quickly out since he had to focus on anything Clara might say.

“R..randalll…,” she stammered. He didn’t have any idea who Randall was but she obviously did. He filed that name away since it was important.

“Clara, who’s Randall?” was the next question. He saw Cody come back over towards him then kneel down to take the flashlight from his hand.

“Manager,” she whispered. “He is sooo…fired,” she said with a slight groan as Jesse touched the wounded area. He caught a look of surprise from Cody at her answer.

“Dad, he’s the one that she’s going to sue with Lisa’s help because of the contracts and stuff I told you about,” said Cody as if trying to bring his dad back up to speed on things.

Jesse fumbled around in the first aid kit and found the items he needed to cut away the sweat soaked shirt from around the wound. The skin around the bullet hole was an angry red against the pale color her skin had become due to blood loss. What worried him was the slight bubbling that came up with the blood out of the wound which meant that the bullet had managed to do some damage to her lung. He cleaned the skin around the outside of the wound best as he could though there was little else he could do as it continued to slowly seep blood. Working quickly, he packed the wound and finished applying the pressure bandage. Carefully, he got her covered back up in the blanket she had first wrapped herself in.

“Cody, go find me another blanket and then start a fire. She’s already showing signs of shock. Light a few lanterns and then go put the horses up in the barn.” Once Cody had come back with the extra blanket, he gathered Clara up in it, forcing her to sit up then leaned her against him.

“Thirsty Jesse…,” came a quiet voice with a slight buzz to it from the bundle of blankets as he sat there and watched Cody finish getting the fire started. He noted how pinched around the face and eyes Cody looked, his eyes flicking to Clara every few seconds as if to verify she was still with them. 

“I know but I can’t give you anything. They’ll want to take you to surgery when they get you to the hospital. You can’t have anything to eat or drink before then,” explained Jesse as he held her. 

“Sorry,” came a statement a few moments later, in a near whisper. Cody had just left to go outside to take care of the horses and Jesse wasn’t sure at first he’d heard her correctly.

“For what?” asked Jesse, trying to keep Clara talking.

“For not telling you…or Matt. For not…trusting,” came her words as her body trembled a little.

Jesse was quiet as he thought things through. Finally he spoke to her, “You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s your life. You have the right to keep your secrets or to tell them as you see fit.”

There was silence then and Jesse was afraid she’d fallen asleep on him and shifted her just a little so he could see her face. She had her eyes open but they had an unfocused quality that made his stomach lurch a little. “Still with me Clara?” he asked, giving her leg a light pinch.

Her eyes seemed to focus a little and they shifted tiredly to look at him. “Was going to ride down and tell Matt…tomorrow morning…everything. Tell Cody he can tell Matt everything,” She shifted slightly as if trying but unable to get comfortable. “Tell him I never meant to hurt him…I just didn’t trust myself.”

He was silent then for a time, trying to listen to her breathing. He finally heard Cody come inside and with a look he silently told Cody to come over there. Getting Clara’s attention, he made her focus on him again. “Why don’t you tell Cody what you just told me.”

Cody hurried his steps over to where they sat and knelt down next to them, “You’re just doing this to get even with me aren’t you,” accused Cody in a worried manner, trying to make light of the situation.

She grimaced slightly, “Yeah…just to be spite..ful,” she responded, her breath coming in little pants now. “I was gonna tell Matt tomorrow…but since I might….be busy, you can tell him everything for me?” she asked, as if almost pleading with him.

“You can tell him yourself when you get through this. Just have a little faith in yourself,” Cody said as if trying to give her hope that everything would be all right soon and back to normal.

“You’re a tough mountain girl…you’ll make it,” interrupted Jesse before Cody could say anything else.

He wasn’t sure if he imagined a slight ghost of a smile on her pale lips. “Mount…ain girl. Be sure…to tell Matt that you called…me that. He’ll owe me…an…ap…apol…ogy and lots of grovel…ling.” This brought a slight chuckle from Cody but it quickly faded as he caught the look on Clara’s face and he shifted towards her with a look of mild panic.

Jesse blinked at this statement and Cody’s expression as he realized her words were becoming slurred. She was beginning to falter, stuttering somewhat as she tried to speak. “Clara, you need to stay awake.” His keen sense of hearing from years in the mountains picked up the sound of an engine and he gave her a little nudge. “I think I just heard the Rangers pull up.” 

“Ti…tired…,” she whined a little, shifting as if uncomfortable. “…tired…cold,” she said again in that panting breath that was rattling more with every moment. Her eyes started to close though it was obvious she was trying to fight it. “Something…need to tell…remember,” her voice dropped off as she mumbled something he couldn’t quite make out though it didn’t sound coherent.

“Clara! Come on, stay awake…,” growled Jesse as he heard heavy footfalls on the porch outside and felt the cold, damp breeze drift in as the front door was opened, heralding the Rangers arrival.

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Matt had been on pins and needles from the moment Jimmy had turned off the blacktop and onto the logging road that lead up to Clara’s. He knew he couldn’t push Jimmy to go any faster than he felt comfortable driving but it was all he could do to keep from growling at Jimmy to step on it.

With fog lights on as well as their headlights, they managed to light up a good chunk of the road as they sped along. His heart was racing as he tried not to think of the worst case scenario. He cursed every bend and switchback in the road that caused Jimmy to have to slow down. Why did it take two freaking hours to reach her just by vehicle…why couldn’t the weather clear faster so that Avila could get in the air, get up there and get her to the hospital? He’d gladly give the command for Jimmy to turn around and get them back down off this mountain if Avila got there before they did.

His stomach twisted into knots, wondering if he would get a chance to tell her that he was sorry for the things he’d said, for trying to push her to tell him something she obviously hadn’t felt comfortable sharing at that time. He silently wondered if this was some form of perverse punishment that he was receiving because of his actions…to have finally found someone with whom he wanted to be closer only to have them possibly snatched out of his reach forever.

They were almost two thirds of the way there when Cody came over the radio to let them know that they had just arrived and that Clara was alive but they needed to get there as soon as possible. When Matt checked with Avila there was some hope in his voice that he’d be able to take off within the next half hour and that he had already begun preflight checks and made sure the chopper was fueled. 

Jimmy had been blessedly silent through the whole trip. Normally on the way to rescues he yammered on about non-essential things but for once he had hardly uttered a peep except to curse when the Bronco slid on a patch of gravel or mud when taking a curve. Matt looked over at him to see that he was completely focused on the road ahead and he decided not to disturb the man who was obviously intent on getting both of them there safely.

Thirty-five minutes later they pulled up in front of Clara’s cabin and both bailed out of the Bronco before the engine hardly had time to stop. Jimmy threw open the back doors and pulled out the backboard as Matt grabbed the trauma kit. Without stopping to shut the doors, they headed inside.

Matt’s eyes quickly assessed everything in one sweep, from the blood on the floor by the radio coming out of the bedroom to his father sitting near the fireplace holding a bundle of blankets upright.

“Clara! Come on, stay awake…,” he heard Jesse say as they had entered. In five quick strides Matt was at Jesse’s side and Jimmy was close behind him. With careful hands, he took a hold of her shoulders and let Jesse slip out from behind her. As soon as his dad was clear of the space, Jimmy slid the backboard in under her as Matt kept her upright.

“Bullet to the back, below and to the right of the heart but it or bone fragments have done some form of damage to the lung. The bullet hole was leaking a bit of air before I packed it and secured it with a pressure bandage. Pulse is weak and thready, plus she’s cold and sweaty.” These were all classic signs of shock and the information was rattled off by Jesse before either Matt or Jimmy could ask for it. 

Matt nodded as Jesse got up off the floor and went over to stand next to Cody, keeping out of the Rangers’ way as they did their job. Jesse settled a hand on Cody’s shoulder as if trying to give comfort to his youngest as they watched.

“Clara, wake up hon,” said Matt in a strong voice, giving her right arm a squeeze.

There was a slight movement from Clara and she managed to get her eyes opened a little, “Matt?”

“Yeah, it’s me. We’re going to get you down to the hospital here in a bit. Can you stay with me?” he asked, as Jimmy got into the trauma kit and pulled out the blood pressure cuff and IV setup with a saline solution bag. He carefully reached in and pulled out her left arm, the closest to him and began the process fitting the cuff to her arm and inflating it, watching it intently as he got a reading then called out a low number. He let the cuff deflate and went about the task of finding a vein to get her hooked up to the IV.

Clara didn’t seem to notice Jimmy as he worked. “Matt…,” she said his voice again, her breath rattling as she sat there. “Something…need….have to…,” she seemed suddenly confused as she blinked and turned her head to look around. 

“It’s all right Clara. Look at me and tell me what you had for supper,” Matt asked as Jimmy continued to work, having a hard time finding anything he could use. With as much blood as she’d lost and as sweaty as she had been, she was already dehydrated.

“Supper? Wha…toast…tea. Matt…,” she seemed like she needed to tell him something, that look of confusion again on her face as if she couldn’t remember what she wanted to say.

He heard Jimmy say something that sounded like he’d been successful and he glanced to the side and saw that he had in fact finally found a vein to get her hooked up to the IV. He was taping it down when Clara seemed to jerk upright with a sudden hiss of pain.

“Matt! He shot me…your gun…! And…he...,” she seemed to suddenly be having trouble breathing. “…hair and…my...bed…your gun!” Her right hand snaked out and grabbed at his jacket as she started to gasp for air.

“Shit!” Matt yelped as he watched her eyes roll back into her head. Laying her down as quickly as he could, he felt at her neck. “I can’t find a pulse.” He could hear the panic rising in his voice.

Jimmy dropped what he was doing and quickly moved to tilt her head back then leaned down to listen at her nose and mouth. “She’s stopped breathing!” Both Rangers seemed to suddenly click into autopilot as Jimmy took up a position by her head, already prepared to breath for her.

Matt shifted to the opposite side of her chest as he placed his palms together and set them over her sternum. He sent a silent prayer as he prepared to begin chest compressions on her that those wouldn’t be the last words he’d ever hear her say to him. As he focused on his task, a far back part of his mind wondered what the hell she’d been trying to tell him.

TBC ---


	25. Chapter 25

As Jesse stood there, frozen with the knowledge that a young woman was possibly dying on the floor right in front of him, he had to remind himself that there was nothing he could do. The Rangers had everything under control. He felt Cody tighten and tremble under his hand and he leaned forward and spoke in his son’s ear. “Breathe Cody. They’re doing everything they can to save her. You’re not going to do her any good by passing out.”

He felt his youngest exhale in a gust and the trembling under his hand increased as they continued to watch. Matt and Jimmy both paused and Clara’s pulse was checked. “I got something…,” Matt almost whispered.

Jimmy leaned down and listened to her nose and mouth. “She’s breathing but it’s shallow,” he said as he moved to replace Matt’s fingers on her neck so he could check her pulse.

Matt looked almost faint with relief for a moment and then exhaled sharply, pushing all emotion to the side again. Looking around, he spotted his dad and motioned to him. “Take over for Jimmy and keep her head tilted, keep checking her pulse…,” he paused as he tilted his head, listening.

Jesse knew what Matt had just heard since he too caught the tell tale sounds of an approaching chopper. Before Jesse moved to assist, he gave Cody’s shoulder a quick squeeze. “Go outside. Turn the headlights of the Bronco on to give Avila some light to guide him in.” He knew giving Cody something to focus on at the moment would be better than having him look at the innate form of someone Cody thought of like a sister.

Cody stumbled as he turned and made a quick dash out the door, only too happy to be away from the disturbing scene he’d just witnessed. Jesse moved over to kneel next to Clara’s head and put a hand under her neck to support it and while he moved his other to press his fingers into her carotid artery. The pulse was there but erratic.

Jimmy finished getting the IV hooked up and taped down while Matt moved to check her blood pressure as the sound of the chopper grew closer, only to set down moments later. The motor slowed but Avila obviously knew not to bother shutting things down since he would most likely be taking off within a few minutes.

As Matt checked her blood pressure reading, he heard Robin’s voice outside say something to Cody and he looked up to see her come in, a look of relief washing over his face as she approached them. He knew that all the Rangers had advanced first aid training, but it was always better to have a fully trained paramedic on scene in a situation like this. As Robin set her gear down, Jesse moved away so Jimmy could switch places with him, giving her the space she needed to do her job.

Within moments, Robin had assessed Clara’s situation and the team had gotten her strapped to the backboard, blankets and all. At the count of three, Robin and Jimmy lifted her up and were carrying Clara towards the door. Matt picked up Robin’s kit and moved to follow but stopped to look at Jesse, “Dad…,” he said in a desperate tone as if trying to communicate a thousand things in that one word.

Jesse stepped forward, “Go with her son. Cody and I will get down there when we can. You know you’re Rangers can handle this. You’ve trained them well.”

Matt pursed his lips and nodded, unable to find the words to say anything else. Jesse could tell he hated leaving things undone but he had little choice in the matter at the moment. Matt turned and headed outside as Jesse followed but remained on the porch, watching as they prepared to take off.

Matt ducked a little as he approached the chopper while Jimmy helped Robin finish getting Clara secured onboard. Matt tugged at Jimmy’s sleeve and had to raise his voice to be heard over the increasing whine of the Jet Ranger’s engine. “I need you to stay here. I’m going to send Avila back up for dad and Cody and have them dropped off at the station.”

Jimmy nodded and gave him a thumbs’ up as he stepped back, giving Matt the room to get into the chopper with Robin and Clara. Once they were situated, Jimmy moved forward to shut the door, securing the latch. He stepped towards the pilot’s door and slapped it with his hand twice and gave a thumbs’ up to Avila before turning and walking away, stooped over a little until he was clear of the blades.

As soon as Jimmy was clear, Avila lifted off and was swallowed up by the night sky, the sound of the engine and blades soon fading into the distance.

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Jimmy made it to the porch to stand next to Jesse before he turned to watch the chopper take off with Matt and Robin monitoring Clara. He sent a silent prayer that she’d make it to the hospital and the doctors could take care of her from there. When the chopper was out of sight, he felt Jesse give his shoulder a pat and heard Jesse move back inside the cabin. Jimmy glanced over his shoulder to watch after him for a moment before he turned to move towards the Bronco to shut off the lights and close up the doors. That was when he saw Cody squatting down near a clump of sage brush and dead grass, using a stick to push the offending vegetation away.

“Whatcha got Cody?” he asked cautiously as he moved over towards the youngest Hawkes. He was just within the range of the headlights of the Bronco and as Jimmy approached, he caught a glimpse of light reflecting off of black and silver metal.

Cody looked up at Jimmy, “Why do I get the feeling this wasn’t dropped here by accident?”

Jimmy squatted down and looked carefully at the gun. It was an old .45 that had seen long service but was still in good condition. There was a sinking feeling in his gut as he thought back to Clara’s last frantic words as she tried to grab onto Matt’s jacket.

“Yeah. Let me go get your dad,” he said, rubbing his face in his hands and then stood up, walking carefully as if trying not to disturb too much of the crime scene. “And don’t touch anything.” That got him an exasperated look from Cody that said ‘No duh!’.

Heading back into the cabin, he found Jesse looking around though not touching anything. “Jesse, I think you better bring your flashlight and come see this.”

Jesse picked up the flashlight where he’d left it earlier and followed Jimmy outside to where Cody still hunkered down over the spot where Jimmy had left him. With a flick of a button, a beam of bright light flooded the area and Jesse pointed it down to where Jimmy pointed.

“Cody found that laying there.” He didn’t say anything further, wondering if Jesse would have any input on what he saw.

Silently Jesse looked over the gun and then looked up at Cody and then at Jimmy, “It’s my old service revolver. I’d know it anywhere. It’s got a gouge across the butt, just there…,” he said, pointing to the cut in the bottom of the handle. “Used it to block someone trying to stab me once. Only damage it ever took. I gave it to Matt when I retired.”

Jimmy swore something colorful and stood up, walking a few paces away. Turning back to face the two Hawkes men that were staring at him, he sighed, “Cody, leave it where it is. I’m not going to be able to touch anything on this crime scene.”

Jesse slowly straightened as Cody stood up, both looking at Jimmy as if waiting for an explanation.

“Let’s go inside while we wait for Avila so I can clean up my mess. I’ll bring you up to speed on what happened a few days ago in town,” was all Jimmy would say before he went over to the Bronco and slammed the doors shut in frustration. His gut told him there was only one way Matt’s personal gun could be sitting in the weeds since he hardly took it out of his truck other than to clean and inspect it.

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Avila flew his precious cargo down to Tahoe, calling in the emergency when they were half way there. He looked over his shoulder every so often to monitor the people in the back and saw the pale and pinched face of his Commander. He knew Matt was keeping it together because he had to but something was going on inside his mind that was making things difficult for him to handle all of this stress.

The lights of the city came into view as they came around the last ridge and he called out to Robin their ETA. Checking back with the tower control, he adjusted his flight path to compensate for an updraft before he moved back onto course. The winds were dying down after the storm system had moved on but it wasn’t completely out of the area yet. Finally the rooftop lights of the hospital came into view and he could see the attendants waiting with a gurney inside the sliding glass doors, waiting for him to touch down before they moved to the chopper.

The landing was a little bumpy due to the winds but he got them down and Matt had the door opened immediately. Within moments, Clara had been offloaded to be wheeled away with Robin running along beside them, waiting until they got inside to give them full details and statistics. Matt climbed back inside for a minute and put the headset back on.

“Avila, I need you to go back up to the cabin, get dad and Cody and take them down to the station. Tell him I need him to call Lisa Elliot as soon as her office opens and let her know what’s going on. Once he’s done that, he can use one of the Broncos to get to the hospital. I’ve got to call Hart at the station about something and I’ll tell him to come get Robin when you get back. I’m going to stay here for the time being. Jimmy is going to stay up at the cabin and keep things secure until an investigation can be instigated.” His voice sounded strained, tired.

Avila nodded, “You gonna be ok Matt?”

Matt gave him a look and then shook his head a little, “I don’t know. I need all of this to be kept quiet. Tell the others at the station no using the radio to communicate details on any of this. Only phones. If you use radios to communicate about anything in regards Clara, use code.”

Now Avila was really worried and he frowned. “All right Matt but if you need anything, let me know right away.”

Matt nodded but said nothing else as he took the headset off and shut the Jet Ranger doors, signaling for him to take off as he bent slightly at the waist, moving away and towards the roof entrance of the hospital, looking troubled.

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The phone rang at the Ranger station and Hart jerked a little to become fully awake. It wasn’t his night for phones but he was doing his best to stay awake. “High Mountain Rangers, Officer…”

“Tim, its Matt. We got Clara to the hospital but she flat lined on us up at the cabin. We got her going again. So far she’s holding her own but that’s as much as I know,” came his Commanders voice, sounding exhausted and worried over the line.

“Jesus Matt. Do you know what happened yet?” he asked, grabbing a pen to write down some details.

“Not yet but I need you to do me a favor. I need you to get my keys and a flashlight, go out to my truck and check under the seat towards the middle. See if my personal firearm is still under the seat. Don’t touch anything if you can avoid it, except the door handle. The truck may need to be processed as a crime scene if the gun is missing. I’ll hold while you go check.” The almost frantic sound in Matt’s voice put the hair on the back of Tim’s neck up and he swallowed.

“Alright. Hang on.” With that, he put the line on hold and went into Matt’s office, grabbed up the set of keys out of the top drawer, grabbed a flashlight off the radio desk and without bothering to grab his coat, rushed out the door to head to Matt’s truck.

Unlocking the door, he turned on the flashlight and got down on the floorboards to stick his head down far enough to see up under the seat. There was nothing there except a candy wrapper and a screwdriver.

Swearing a little, Tim got himself out of the truck and headed into the station. He took two breaths before he picked up the line to tell Matt the bad news. “It’s gone Matt.”

There was a soft groan on the other end of the line and Tim was pretty sure that if Matt hadn’t been standing somewhere in the hospital, he would have been swearing rather loudly. “Dammit,” came the only mumbled curse. “Tim, I need to you get me Sheriff McBride’s home number. I need you to also pull the file on my personal sidearm from my office cabinet to have the information he’ll need on it. Avila is going to be bringing my dad and Cody down to the station in a bit….”

“Matt, what’s this about?” asked Tim quickly before Matt could go on any longer.

There was silence for a moment, “I think…I think the night I was attacked at Papa Murphy’s, whoever roughed me up got into my truck and stole my gun. It might have been used to shoot Clara.”

Tim groaned a little, “Oh shit…,” was his only response, the implications to what this might mean suddenly clicking through his head. “Look, I’ll get you Mike’s number but I’ll take care of the rest. You worry about Clara.”

There was an exhale on the other end of the line. “Thanks. I can’t believe I was so stupid as to not check to make sure it was there after that night…,” said Matt and Tim could hear the pain in his voice, the fear, guilt and almost self-loathing.

“Hey! We’re only human. Have faith that it’ll all work out in the end…,” said Tim, trying to get Matt off that roller coaster of doubt as he searched through the rolodex for Mike’s number. “I got that number for you.”

“Yeah…gotta have faith that I won’t lose my mind before this is all over,” came the response as Matt began to write down the number that Tim rattled off to him.

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Jesse sat at Matt’s office desk and rubbed his eyes. It was after seven in the morning. Before Avila had returned to get him along with Cody, Jimmy had brought them up to speed on Matt’s attack outside of Papa Murphy’s. He’d also talked about how just that night it was Jimmy who’d figured out who and what Clara really was thanks to an MTV news brief.

That opened up a discussion between Jimmy and Cody in regards to Clara’s comment about it being Randall who shot her. Cody had let Jimmy know why Clara had come to the mountains in the first place and why he’d gotten Lisa up here to help her. During the whole conversation between the two, Jesse had remained quiet as he listened to their speculations, questions and concerns.

Jimmy had gotten his gear cleaned up and put back in the Bronco and then had gone into the kitchen to make coffee after he was sure he wasn’t disturbing anything that might be part of the crime scene. Since everything seemed to be on the other side of the house, the three of them had taken their discussion into the kitchen.

Avila had finally arrived and taken them down to the station. Once there and with no one to talk to, Cody had sunk into misery. It was obvious to Jesse that Cody was blaming himself for what had happened. Pulling him aside into Matt’s room, he put both of his hands on Cody’s shoulders and made Cody look him in the eyes.

“Want to tell me what’s troubling you?” he’d asked.

Cody had looked up and then away, “It’s my fault. If I‘d just told Matt, none of this would have happened…,” came the reply Jesse had expected from his youngest.

“Even if you had told Matt who Clara was and what was going on with Lisa, no one could have foreseen Randall doing something like this,” had come Jesse’s calm voice.

“I know but…,” Cody had responded as if trying to reason something that there was no reasoning for.

“No but’s. This is ‘not’ your fault Cody. Trust me on this. Alright?” said had Jesse, giving Cody’s shoulders a little squeeze.

His youngest had nodded, still looking upset but right now, there wasn’t much else he could say to him to convince him otherwise. This was something Cody would have to think through on his own. Jesse knew that Clara would, in no way, blame Cody, Matt or any of them for what had happened to her. There was only one person to blame and right now, they had a case to build against him so they could put him away for a long time.

After that, Jesse had insisted Cody take a hot shower and try to rest even though Cody had insisted he wasn’t tired. He didn’t think he could sleep with all of the stress of the night and thinking about Clara. When Jesse had gone to check on Cody half an hour ago, he was sound asleep, sprawled out on his brother’s bed.

Jesse brought his thoughts back to the present and sighed. Picking up the phone, he dialed the number in the rolodex on Matt’s desk. He let it ring and an answering service picked up. He hit the buttons for the prompts until he finally got to the right extension. He was expecting to get a voice mail recording but when a woman’s voice answered the phone he faltered for a moment.

“This is Lisa,” came the woman’s voice.

Jesse hesitated and he heard, “Hello?” on the other end of the line before he jerked himself into motion.

“Lisa, this is Jesse Hawkes.”

“Jesse?” came her voice over the line. He could hear the immediate caution in it. “What are you doing calling me at seven in the morning?”

“Clara was shot last night,” he responded in his blunt way.

“What!?” she nearly shouted in the phone, “Is she all right?” she asked quickly, sounding truly concerned.

Jesse paused for a moment as he collected his thoughts, “She was alive when she arrived at the hospital though she’d gone into cardiac arrest once before arriving there. Matt called an hour ago and said they had just taken her into surgery. They had to get her stabilized with a blood transfusion before they could even think to operate.”

“Jesus Christ…,” came her response as he heard her shuffle a bunch of papers on her desk, “Do you know who did this to her?”

“She said her manager, Randall did it.” His words were exact and to the point.

There was dead silence on the phone for several seconds. Finally she spoke in a calm but cool tone that told Jesse she was anything but calm and doing everything to keep from coming unglued. “Are you sure about this? Who else knows?”

“Yes, I’m sure. She even told me ‘he’s sooo fired’. I didn’t get much else out of her but we’re working to keep things very quiet because we think he may have used Matt’s gun to shoot her. He was roughed up a few nights ago and we found his personal sidearm up at the crime scene. The Sheriff knew about the attack from several nights ago and he’s up to date on this most recent development. He has his people already processing the crime scene instead of the Rangers, just to be safe,” said Jesse, laying it all out for Lisa.

He heard her exhale. “Dammit dammit dammit. This changes everything. Alright, do me a favor. Make sure that the Sheriff talks with the hospital staff about keeping it quiet as well. I’m going to do a little snooping on this end to see if Randall is hiding or walking around in broad daylight. If he’s strutting around for all to see, then he may be thinking he succeeded in killing her. The longer he thinks he got away with it, the better our chances are he’ll slip up or they’ll get everything they need to slap him with an arrest warrant. I’ll contact Sheriff McBride and the local DA to make sure all our T’s are crossed and I’s dotted on this one.”

Jesse thought she was thinking some of this out loud for his benefit. He could almost picture her pacing in her office. “Call the Ranger Station if you need anything. They’ll know how to get a hold of myself or Matt.”

“Thanks Jesse. I’ll be in touch as I know more. Let me know if there are any updates on her progress,” she said in a little gust of air.

“I will,” and with that, he hung up the phone. He thought about what she’d said and then got up to go get more coffee. As he opened Matt’s office door, he found himself almost face to chest with Mike McBride.

“Hell of a night, huh Jesse,” said the tall man who was showing more gray in his hair every time Jesse saw him…not that he could say much for his own looks.

“Yup. Want some coffee?” he said as he stepped past the man and walked towards the kitchen.

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Mike sat down at the kitchen table at the Ranger Station, an expandable folder next to him as he sipped the coffee Jesse had offered earlier. “Got Matt’s call and decided I needed to go up there myself to oversee things. Wanted to make sure nothing got mishandled in a situation like this.”

Hart and Avila had just come into the kitchen followed by Robin, all looking a little tired from the odd hours. Izzy was sitting at the phones and Jimmy was still up at Clara’s cabin until the crime scene had been fully processed.

Since the revelations the night before and the fact that their CO was possibly being framed for attempted murder, the Rangers were all a bit on edge and it was palpable in the kitchen.

“Got any news?” asked Hart as he poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table next to Jesse.

“Just came by to show you something interesting…something that might put your minds at ease a little,” said Mike, looking like the cat who had just eaten the cannery. Mike had obviously just come down from Clara’s.

Jesse sipped his coffee, setting the mug down as he watched Mike, his face unreadable. “Obviously it’s something good or you wouldn’t look like you’re going to bust your seams.”

Mike chortled at that as he pulled out a plastic evidence bag from inside the expandable folder. Inside was a small, leather bound journal, bent open and marked by a pen stuck to the pages by the little clip near the top. The thing that caught the attention of everyone first was that the pages that were exposed were smeared in blood. The next thing that jumped out was a scrawled and scribbled hand writing that seemed to start out legible but got harder to read to the point that the writer had actually used shakily written large block letters to make sure that the words were legible by the end of the message.

“I believe this will clear your boss and damn hers,” said Mike cryptically as he took a sip of his coffee as he slid the plastic bag to the center of the table for everyone to be able to lean in to see it without having to pick it up.

“Is that..?” asked Robin who leaned forward just a little.

“Yup. We confirmed it starts out as her hand writing by other things written in the book but by the latter part of the warning, she must have been in a lot of pain because she was struggling to write the rest of it.” Mike reached inside his coat jacket pocket and pulled out a small pad of paper. He flipped it open and found the page he was looking for then began to read:

_‘kurt randall shot me matts gun for insurance he hired man attack matt’_

There were parts where it was hard to read a few of the words since the blood had softened the paper before she’d written on it.

“Of course I’ll have to make sure we take fingerprints of Clara since she was nice enough to leave us a several visible prints on the pages but I don’t see where there is any doubt about what happened. Do you?” asked Mike.

There was a deathly silence over the kitchen at that as everyone seemed stunned and only able to look from one to the other and back to the journal again.

Jesse finally found voice enough to break the silence. “Where did you find it Mike??

Mike sipped his coffee. “Near where she was sitting was the stack of logs for the fireplace. We found it behind there. I think she set it on top of the pile and it slid down at some time or you guys would probably have found it right off when you’d arrived,” he said with a shrug.

“The forensics team is almost done collecting what they need and then they’ll come down and dust Matt’s truck for prints though I get a feeling they won’t find any. But it’s better to be safe than sorry.” He slid the plastic bag back over towards him and put it back in the folder for safe keeping.

“Well Jesse, I’ll leave it to you to give Matt this bit of information. I’ve got a ton of paperwork to fill out on this and to keep things quiet for awhile as per the DA’s request. I’m also going to have to talk to Clara when she wakes up, so could you tell Matt to call me when she does?” He stood up and nodded to the Rangers “Oh, and thanks for the coffee.”

After the sheriff had left, Hart looked around the room and then at Jesse, “I’m going to fix breakfast. Why don’t you and Cody stay till you can get something to eat and I can fix something for you to take to Matt. Then you had better get going to the hospital to tell Matt the good news, if you want to call it that.”

Jesse grimaced and rose to his feet. “I’ll go wake Cody. He won’t forgive me if he missed out on one of your breakfasts,” Jesse said with a slight smirk.

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One hour stretched into two, then three and after the fourth hour, Matt stopped counting. He paced the waiting room in front of the windows that looked out towards the mountains, his stomach in knots. After the first hour, he’d gone looking for some answers. The answers he got were not what he’d expected. She was on her second pint of blood and they wanted to make sure her vital signs stabilized before they took her into surgery.

Finally by hour four they had decided they couldn’t wait any longer and took her into surgery where she still was when his dad and brother walked through the doors shortly after 10 am. Cody looked slightly depressed and a bit withdrawn. His dad looked like he hadn’t slept since the night before though he hid it better than most. Matt couldn’t imagine what he looked like.

“Any news?” asked Jesse as he crossed the waiting room towards him.

Matt shook his head. “No,” he looked at Cody who had shoved his hands in his jeans pockets and looked away from his brother as if ashamed about something. Matt didn’t have a clue of what that was about but he would deal with it in a bit.

Jesse nodded, producing a bag that held breakfast for Matt and pushed a styrofoam cup of coffee towards him. “Compliments of Hart. One of his famous New York breakfast burritos,” Jesse paused as he let Matt peek in the bag and then continued. “I called Lisa and she’s aware of the situation. She’s already begun doing some investigating from her end of things. She’ll call back when she has some information.”

Matt took the offered items and sat down with an exhale of air. Jesse sat across from him and put his elbows on his knees, leaning forward. “Mike came by the station about an hour ago. They found something Clara managed to write in a journal that basically told what happened to her. Mike was pretty impressed she managed to do that much being in the pain she had to have been in.” As Matt began to eat, though a bit peckishly, Jesse told Matt what the journal had said and what Mike’s plans were.

With a nod, Matt put the rest of his breakfast aside and slumped further down into his chair. He put his elbows on his knees, shoving his forehead into his hands, his fingers running roughshod through his blonde hair. He was quiet since there was little else he could say to his dad.

“Matt?” came Cody’s quiet voice.

Matt took his head from his hands and looked up at Cody who was standing in front of him. “Yeah Coder?”

“Look…I’m sorry I didn’t…that I didn’t tell you, you know, about Clara,” he said, looking ashamed and embarrassed.

Matt blinked and reached out, grabbing Cody’s wrist then pulled him down to sit next to him. He wrapped a tired arm around Cody’s shoulders and pulled him close. “It’s all right Cody. I’m sorry I acted the way I did. She had every right to keep her secrets. I guess I’m just not comfortable having people around me that have big secrets like that and me not knowing. Granted, it was a harmless secret but …,” Matt stopped talking, not sure he could find the right words to say.

He had no excuse for his lack of concentration and checking to make sure his weapon was secure after the attack. He still couldn’t believe that he hadn’t simply made the easy movement to reach under the seat to feel if it was there, tucked up under the center console cushion.

Matt brought his thoughts back to the present and looked at Cody, releasing him after giving him a hug. “I’m glad that you’ve been such a good friend to her. Someone that would keep that kind of secret is a rare kind of friend and she’s lucky to have you. And I’m lucky to have you as my little brother. You were there for her when I wasn’t. That means a lot.”

Cody looked down at his feet and Matt could see the blush that rose up from his cheeks to his ears but before he could respond to Matt there was the clearing of someone’s throat.

Matt looked up and saw a doctor standing in the doorway, dressed in surgical scrubs. “I’m looking for Matthew Hawkes?” he announced to the empty waiting room except for the three men.

Matt stood up quickly and moved towards him, all other things forgotten. He sensed Jesse and Cody following closely behind him. “I’m Matt Hawkes. How’s Clara?” he asked.

The doctor nodded, “I’m Doctor Washington. I’m the attending surgeon on Ms Rogers case. Since I’m not needed at the moment I thought I would come out and give you an update,” he offered.

Matt blinked and looked at his dad and then at Cody, “Go on.”

“In some ways, she’s a very lucky woman. The bullet had to go through several layers of blankets apparently before it hit her, slowing it down some. We know this because we’ve had to pull the pieces of the blankets out of the wound. It also went in at an angle. I’m only assuming she was moving away from her attacker when she was shot. He was probably standing. She was possibly laying flat on her stomach or trying to get out of the bed. I’m only speculating since I’m not a forensic scientist. Anyway, the bullet hit her scapula and shattered into two pieces. The largest piece got wedged between her scapula and a rib, breaking the rib in the process. The bone fragments of the scapula and the smaller bullet fragment are what we’re worried about. They imbedded themselves in her lung tissue and caused a partial collapse of her left lung.” The doctor paused for a moment there and Matt shifted uneasily.

“How do you consider that lucky?” asked Cody in a quiet voice.

The doctor looked over at the young man and frowned a little in sympathy. “Because if the bullet had been half an inch further up and to the left, it would have hit a major artery and she would have bled out in minutes. If it had been an inch to the right and three-quarters of an inch lower, it would have gone through her left atrium of her heart.”

Matt saw Cody blanch at the thought of how close it had been for Clara and in that light, yes, she was a very lucky woman.

“So what does this all mean?” asked Matt finally, wanting to get the full picture of the extent of her injuries.

“Well, we had to call in a pulmonary specialist because if we leave even one small fragment of bone or fiber of a blanket in the lung tissue, it could cause infection or possible collapse of her lung later on. We’ve gone in and removed the largest piece of bullet and cleaned the hole in the scapula to remove any fragments or slivers that might occur later. That will heal calcify over and heal on its own. We’ve cleaned the blanket fibers out and she’s being prepped now for the pulmonary surgery. Unfortunately this will be quite extensive and could take some time since the surgeon needs to be very through,” replied the doctor. “When this is all over, Ms Rogers is going to be dealing with a lot of pain for some time due to the broken rib, the lung damage, the facial bruising and cracked right zygomatic process…her cheekbone,” the doctor offered upon seeing the confusion on Cody’s face at the strange word.

Matt nodded and sighed, “Thank you Doctor. Just let me know when she’s out of surgery and how things went.” There was little else he could say or do. This would take time and nothing he did could hurry things along. The last thing he would want right now would be for the doctors to hurry their work.

The doctor nodded and left, heading back the way he’d come. Silence filled the waiting room and it was Jesse that finally broke the silence. “Matt, since this is going to take awhile Cody and I will stay here. You go back to the station and get a shower then go see Mike for an update. We’ll call if there are any changes or news. I’m sure you’ll be back here before they are even finished.”

Matt looked like he was about to protest but one look from his dad’s face told him that he had little choice in the matter and putting up an argument right now would not be in his best interest.

Cody piped up as Matt slowly gathered up his coat and the remains of his belated breakfast, “Hey, on your way back, could you stop and get us some burgers? I’m starving.”

Matt saw Jesse roll his eyes and he could feel a slight smile ghost his lips. Leave it to Cody to be hungry an hour after he’d just eaten, even in the face of all that had happened.

TBC ---


	26. Chapter 26

The sound of beeping machines seemed to echo through her mind as she floated in a fog of weightlessness. She should be scared…maybe. She had been hit in the face twice with a gun then shot. Was this the in-between of heaven or something? She felt no fear, felt no anger, no resentment. She just…was.

She became aware of a terrible taste in her mouth then how dry her tongue was and thought how nice it would be to have a cold drink of water. As she went to move her tongue, something seemed to be holding it down. She’d have to explore that in a moment but another sensation and thought invaded her senses. Why was her chest hurting? She was in heaven wasn’t she? Her chest shouldn’t hurt, should it? And why was this thing in her mouth, keeping her from swallowing? She wanted a drink and she couldn’t get one if she had this thing in her mouth. Maybe she was in hell and this was some form of torture.

Raising a hand that felt like a lead weight was attached to it, she began to explore what was in her mouth. She felt something tugging at her finger and then it was gone. Her ears were suddenly assailed by a high pitched noise and she winced away from it, only to feel her face awaken with agony and pain. As she tried to move away from the offending noise, she felt a searing agony race across her left shoulder and into her lung, causing her to inhale sharply. That was when she felt that whatever was in her mouth was now in her throat and she began to panic, the sensation arising as if she were gagging. Struggling now in a panic, she tried to remove what was in her mouth.

Cold hands took a hold of hers and she felt them pulling hers away from her face. She tried to breath but her chest hurt, her lungs hurt, this thing in her throat hurt and her whole body was screaming out in pain. Then the fog began to cloud her mind again, she felt the pain beginning to slide away from her body as she floated back down into that blessed darkness as her body felt heavy again. She felt the fog thicken further and she really didn’t care about anything at the moment. All those other thoughts and problems, they could wait until later…

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Waiting was the hardest part. Actually Matt thought at this moment it was pure torture of the heart and soul. He got up out of his chair next to Clara’s bed and stretched a little. He needed coffee and the chair he had been sitting in on and off for over six hours had given him a crink in his neck. Walking out of the room and down the hallway to the waiting room, he knew it wouldn’t be too much longer before Jesse came to relieve him for a shift while Matt went to go get some sleep and take care of business at the office.

Matt truly wanted to do nothing more than sit and wait for Clara to wake up but the doctors didn’t know when that might be. Unfortunately, work at the station didn’t stop and he had to do his part to keep the place running smoothly. The doctors didn’t seem worried that it had been two days now and still no sign of her trying to breathe on her own. They simply said that these things ‘take time’ and just to be patient. He ground his teeth. His patience was wearing very thin at this point. Matt found fresh coffee had been made and he poured himself a cup as he rolled his head and shoulders, trying to get the ache out of his neck.

He had left the hospital upon his fathers’ insistence the morning that they had taken Clara into surgery. He was gone longer than he would have liked to have been due to his meeting with Sheriff McBride and returning a call to Lisa in LA. When he’d finally gotten back to the hospital they were into their fifth hour of surgery with the pulmonary specialist and there had been no updates.

By six o’clock that night, an exhausted looking surgeon had come out to tell them the good news. Clara had survived the surgery and he was confident they had managed to get all of the offending material out of her lung tissue. Now, it was only a matter of letting her heal though he warned them that they had to intubate her because she was too weak at the moment to breathe on her own. With assurances that this was only temporary until she’d regained some of her strength and was able to handle that simple task on her own, it was there to make sure she got plenty of oxygen to her damaged lung.

The nursing staff had finally allowed them to see her one at a time after they’d moved her to ICU a few hours later. Matt had been shocked when he’d entered the room, being the first of them to see her since she’d disappeared into the ER. Her cheeks were swollen and both of her eyes were black from the bruising underneath them. That alone made his blood boil with anger towards the man who could have taken such a thing of beauty and tried to ruin it as he had.

But the marks on her face were heightened by how pale she looked under the tan she’d gotten over the summer and it was only made worse by the stark white of the hospital sheets. She looked diminished somehow next to all of the machines she was hooked up to. For a woman who had been on the go every time he’d seen her, to see her laying there so still and lifeless, shook him to the core.

He’d gone over and taken her right hand, running a thumb over the back of her fingers since an IV was stuck into the back of her hand. He leaned down and whispered softly into her ear, “I’m sorry Clara. You have to get better so I can have the chance to tell you that.” He leaned down, kissing her forehead gently before he’d left, giving his dad and brother time to visit with her.

After convincing the hospital staff that it was in the best interest and safety of Clara at this time to keep an unofficial guard on her, they had moved a chair into the room for whoever was on duty to watch over her. The Rangers, along with Jesse and Cody, had set up a schedule to take shifts during their off hours to watch over her until Mike was able to do organize protection for her in an official capacity. A deputy sheriff had come by the following morning to take fingerprints of Clara to verify that she had been the one to write the message in the journal as they continued to process everything that they’d found up at the cabin. 

Details had been kept from the press but it would only be a matter of time before an arrest warrant was issued for Randall. When he was finally served with the warrant that was when the shit would hit the fan. Lisa Elliot was already preparing a statement about the lawsuit against Clara’s manager and her parents. Sheriff McBride in turn was preparing one about the attack on Shandra Lee’s life and had been warned by Lisa that once the press found out where Shandra Lee was, he would need to have a plan in place to keep them out of the hospital and away from Clara until she was released. 

As Matt slowly made his way back to Clara’s room, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of several pairs of feet rushing down the hall towards ICU as the sound of a heart monitor flat lining brought him to attention. His heart began to race in mild panic as he hurried his steps to get a better look at what was going on and saw several nurses disappear into Clara’s room. A doctor rushed in followed by another nurse and Matt held his breath as he made his way towards the window that looked in at her bed. 

Matt’s heart was hammering so hard that he couldn’t hear anything but its drumming beat within his ears and he vaguely realized if he didn’t breath soon he’d pass out on the floor. Sucking in a breath of air he focused on the activity within the room. He feared he’d see Clara lying there limply as doctors and nurses tried to revive her. What he didn’t expect to see was Clara fighting to get the ventilator out of her throat. Her eyes were still closed as if she was trapped in a nightmare but she was far from dead. He watched as the nurses pulled her hands away from her face and injected something into her IV. It only took moments to work and she soon calmed then quickly relaxed back into sleep. The nurses hurried to hook up her heart monitor again and he exhaled in a gust to hear it beating strongly, realizing he’d been holding it in fear that she’d been dead.

He watched as they carefully began prepping her to take out the ventilator and make her more comfortable as they checked her wounds, her IV’s and everything else hooked up to her. Within twenty minutes things were quiet again on the floor and Clara was sleeping soundly with a bit more color to her features. Matt had moved back into the room now that the doctors and nurses had moved out. He could only stand at her bedside and marvel at the tenacity of her spirit as a quiet smile spread across his face. She was still fighting.

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She woke slowly for the second time, her eyes opening with difficulty as though her eyelashes had been glued together. She roughly remembered a bad dream of choking on something but whatever it had been, it was gone now. The room was dimly lit and she was thankful for it since her eyes hurt as she worked to focus them. Well, in fact, her whole body hurt. Her chest still hurt, right in the center over her sternum, not to mention the throbbing ache from the back of her left shoulder. She reached up a hand absently to rub at the sore spot and noticed the IV stuck in the back of her hand.

Shuddering, she put it back down. She hated needles. Looking around a little more, she realized she was in a hospital room. It was obvious by the sterile décor and lack of anything but equipment around the bed that was monitoring her. Clara turned her head stiffly to look around and winced as that simple act seemed to send a burning sensation to grip her left lung. It caught her off guard and she shut her eyes for a moment as she waited for the sensation to ease. 

When it did, she opened her eyes and saw a tall figure who seemed familiar, standing with his back to her outside the door. As he shifted, she saw the blonde hair in the hallway light, the stubborn set of his shoulders and it made her heart beat just a little faster. Of course anyone dressed in blue jeans, hiking boots and a black leather jacket with a figure like that would make her heart skip a beat but she knew who it was as if drawn to him like a lode stone. He was obviously talking to someone she couldn’t see as he gestured with his hand and nodded several times though nothing he said penetrated the quiet of her room.

She wanted to call to him but as she swallowed, she knew her throat was too dry. Frustrated for the moment, she just laid there and took in the sight of him. She stared at his back, willing him to turn around and look in her direction. Not giving up, she slowly looked around a little more, trying to ignore that burning sensation that was becoming more persistent in her chest. She knew these places were supposed to have call buttons but she couldn’t find one that she could see and as her heart rate increased, so did her breathing. The pain from the center of her chest and left shoulder seemed to be spreading to encircle her lung and squeeze down on it, making it almost impossible to breath.

Finally a whimpered sob escaped her dry throat as she tried to shift to ease the pain, only to encounter more of the same. But for once luck was with her and that slight noise was enough for Matt to notice. He tensed and turned to look into the room, his eyes immediately coming into contact with hers. As if by some unspoken communication, he turned his head and said something to someone out in the hallway and then stepped to the side of the doorway as a nurse came bustling into her room. 

The matronly woman quickly moved to her bedside and began to ask her questions about how she felt and her comfort level. Matt moved silently into the room to stand just out of the nurses’ way but close enough that she could still see him as she tried to answer the questions. Finally she looked at the nurse, “It hurts…here,” pointing to the left side of her chest. “And I’m thirsty,” she said in a dry raspy voice.

The nurse gave her a look and frowned slightly, “I’ll check with the doctor to see if I can give you something for the pain.” Before she left though, she ducked into the bathroom and came out with a glass of water, put a straw in it then handed it to Matt. “Don’t let her drink this too quickly.” With ‘orders’ given and after a final check of all of the machines the nurse turned and left to get an answer about providing some relief for Clara. 

Once the nurse was gone, Matt moved Clara’s bedside and got the straw to her lips. She managed to take a slow drink, then several little sips, desperately trying to rehydrate the inside of her mouth. Finally she felt she’d had enough and tilted her head away just enough to signal she was done. Matt put the cup on the bedside table and rested his hands on the bed railing, his eyes full of concern.

As he did, she saw his leather jacket open somewhat and noticed the gun in the shoulder holster underneath it. She looked at it and then her blue eyes looked up into his green ones with the unspoken question as to why he was wearing it in her hospital room.

“You’ve been out of it for three days. Sheriff McBride was hoping you’d wake up before now so he could get the full story from you but…,” he said, pausing with a shrug. “They’ve decided not to wait any longer and are having Deputies sent to serve Randall with an arrest warrant this afternoon. Until he’s in custody, we’ve had guards on you twenty-four, seven,” he said quietly.

She grimaced and nodded but didn’t say anything for the longest time. His comment began to bring the memories flooding back and she trembled, unable to keep them contained. Tears started to leak down her face.   
“Hey…,” he said quietly as he picked up a box of tissues and pulled out a few to dab at her eyes carefully. “You’re safe.” He was careful not to touch her cheeks, knowing that one cheek bone was broken and the bruising in both alone was probably extremely painful.

“I’ve never felt so helpless in my whole life…or so angry,” she said as she tried to take small breaths to avoid the pain caused by a deeper breath. She worked to get herself under control since this did nothing but make her hurt worse.

Matt was quiet as he stood next to her bed. “But you’re alive, able to testify against him and bring this all to an end. Strangely enough, Jimmy figured out who you are the night you were shot. I was going to come up and talk to you about it the next morning.” Matt grew quiet then for a minute as he looked at her with concern in his eyes. “Cody told me why he went to Lisa for you. When this is all over, you’ll be free to make your own decisions on what you want to do,” he offered quietly.

She thought she should have felt relief that he finally knew the truth, but there was a sense of something unspoken between them, something that was still undone. Clara looked up at him and saw a flicker of what might have been sadness in his eyes. Giving a slight, non-committal nod she changed the subject somewhat. “Why does my chest hurt? Here…,” she asked, pointing tiredly to the center of it.

His face paled and then flushed. “You flat lined while we were trying to prep you for the flight to the hospital. We had to perform CPR on you,” he stated quietly.

Her tired, pain filled blue eyes looked at him for a moment, a small spark of humor emerging within them, “So you finally got to lock lips with me huh?” she offered, trying to joke a little.

Matt blinked and a deep red flush appeared high on his cheeks, “Actually, that was Jimmy…”

Clara tried to make a face, “So…do I get a complimentary bottle of mouth wash to go along with that image?”

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Cody and Jesse had just stepped off the elevator to head to Clara’s room for their turn at ‘guard duty’ when the sound of Matt’s surprised laughter could be heard down the hallway. Cody glanced at his father and both hurried their steps to see what had caused Matt to burst out like that. 

Looking through the window of Clara’s room, they saw that she was awake, though it was obvious by the pinched look to her face that she was in a great deal of pain. However, Matt was standing next to Clara’s bed, chuckling and shaking his head, apparently finding something Clara had said very funny.

Cody exhaled in what could have only been utter relief and leaned against his dad for a minute. Jesse smiled at his youngest, putting an arm around his shoulders as they watched the two. She was awake, talking and was willing to fight whatever came next if the look on her face was any indication of the cast of her spirit.

TBC ---


	27. Chapter 27

Matt sat next to Clara’s bed as he thought back over the past ten hours as he watched her sleep. He’d had the day from hell. He had hated to leave her that morning but within half an hour of Clara waking up, he had to be back on duty at the station. Before he had left, he’d made a call to Sheriff McBride to let him know she was awake and talking. He’d seen the nurse come back with something and injected it into Clara’s IV. Matt had done his best to reassure her that he’d be back as soon as he could as she became groggy from the pain medication.

After leaving, he’d hit the ground running, actually meeting the team at a rescue scene before he’d even made it back to the station to change into his uniform. It had been one call after another all day long, requiring that they even call Hart in on his day off to help. The torrent of emergencies had finally subsided around dark and they had managed to drag themselves back to the station, clean their gear and prepare for the next day.

Having taken a quick shower and changed clothes, Matt had headed back to the hospital to meet up with his dad and brother. The Deputy Sheriff outside of Clara’s room had let him know that things were now ‘official’ and that McBride had already put protections for Clara’s safety into place. Once he’d entered the room, he found Clara sound asleep. Cody had been dozing in a chair next to Jesse who had been watching the news on the television.

Jesse brought him up to date on the events of the day after he’d left. The doctors had converged on her room and she’d been taken away for tests, scans and been brought back utterly spent. By the time her first dose of pain medication wore off, Mike and the DA had been there to question her, and not wanting her medication to influence her answers, the sheriff had asked if she could wait for her next dose. She'd had to suffer through the hour-long interrogation before they were satisfied and she was allowed some relief. She had been asleep ever since then. According to Mike, Lisa had informed them the day before that Randall was out and about LA, clubbing and acting as if he’d done nothing wrong.

But his father had pointed to the TV and growled, “When they went to serve him with the arrest warrant, he locked himself in his office and called several news agencies, saying he was being falsely arrested, made a scene once the cameras had arrived and then finally gave himself up.” But by then the damage had been done. The story was all over the news stations and every station seemed to have its own spin on it depending on whatever lie Randall had decided to tell at the time. It didn’t help that he had called the most controversial and rag reporters either so whatever story Randall had told them would only be skewed further. 

Matt had ground his teeth as Jesse told him that there were already stories on how Clara had tried to kill herself, tried to kill Randall and he shot back in self defense, how she was crazy and self inflicted the wound on herself just to get attention and make him look like the bad guy. No one had yet to report the truth. The news crews were already arriving and the local news was already throwing questions at the DA and had even cornered Sheriff McBride once about the arrest and Randall’s accusations. Since the details of the case were being kept confidential until the case could be brought to trial, they could only state that the evidence and testimony of Shandra Lee was enough to convince a judge to issue an arrest warrant for attempted 1st degree murder.

With a sigh, Matt had given his dad the keys to his truck and told him to take Cody back to the station and get some sleep. There was nothing else they could do for her and that they should consider heading back up to the cabin for a few days due to possible incoming weather. Jesse had grimaced but nodded, finally getting Cody up and moving. With a yawned ‘Good-bye’ from his younger brother, Matt had watched them bid goodnight to Clara’s guard and disappear down the hallway.

Matt’s thoughts turned back to the present as he saw a young nurse come into the room and quietly go about her duty of checking the monitors, writing down several numbers, resetting several machines and then left, giving Matt a nod and little smile.

Standing up, Matt stretched his tall frame and winced as he heard several joints pop and crackle. Yawning, he went over to stand in front of the windows of the hospital room that looked out over the mountains. It was dark outside and he could hear the cold northern wind whistle past the windows signaling that the weather was truly beginning to change. It wouldn’t be too much longer and they’d be up to their eyeballs in the first stranded ‘snow bunnies’ of the season.

The sound of the rustling of sheets behind him and a slight pained sigh brought his thoughts back to the occupant of the room. He turned, expecting to see that Clara had just shifted in her sleep. Instead, a pair of tired blue eyes watched him through half closed lids.

“Hey there Sleeping Beauty,” he teased lightly as he moved over to her bedside.

“Don’t tease,” she said in a voice that matched the tired look she gave him, “I’ve seen my reflection today. I look like I could give the undead a run for their money.”

Matt smiled softly and reached back, pulling up his chair to sit down next to her. “Well I wasn’t going to say anything…,” he joked, not finishing the sentence.

Clara rolled her eyes a little and stuck her tongue out at him a little. “Smart ass....”

“Better than being a dumb ass,” he replied as he picked up her right hand and kissed the back of it gently, giving her a wink as he saw the slight curl of the edges of her lips. Anything more he knew would hurt her bruised face. He wanted to give her something else to focus on for awhile because all too soon the real world would come intruding back in and bring with it the stress that would take away that touch of a smile on her face.

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Clara did her best to keep from frowning as Matt told her about what Randall had pulled when the deputies had gone to arrest him. She sighed a little then shifted as that alone caused her a bit of discomfort. “Great,” was all she said to it when Matt had finally told her the last of what Jesse had informed him of.

“Listen Clara, he hasn’t a prayer in the world. Once the truth is out there and people realize what he’s done it will do nothing but make him look like a complete ass in the public eye,” said Matt, trying to keep her spirits up.

She was quiet for awhile as she thought these things out. There was little to nothing she could do about it right now laying in this bed and so she bit her lip, her mind turning to other things. “Matt, listen. I…I want you to know that I was planning on coming down to the station that following morning to tell you everything. But I got a bit…distracted,” she said, trying to joke just a little.

Matt grew quiet as he watched her face, his hand still holding to her right one. “I know. Cody told me everything but…,” Matt hesitated and when Clara turned her head slightly to look a little more fully at him, his green eyes looked up at hers. “I already knew who you really were by the time we got dad’s call that night.”

There was a look of confusion that crossed shown in her eyes, “How…I mean, how did you know if you were so determined to find out two days before?”

There was a slow flush to his cheeks that she could see in the semi dark of the room. “Blame Jimmy and his idle interest in keeping up with what’s going on in Hollywood and the entertainment industry. Apparently a news story about you going missing, similar to the one that caught Cody’s attention and got him doing his research on you, caught Jimmy’s attention and he swore he saw a picture flash by on the screen that looked just like you.”

Clara blinked slowly, “Oh…,” was her only response. 

“We all thought he was nuts as he started hollering and pointing at the screen like a madman, saying it was you. He went and got a copy of the ‘People Magazine’ that had that article on you going from a TV Star to a Rock Star. Then he went and got that picture Cody took and showed us that the face was the exact same one.” Matt grew quiet as he stroked a thumb over her knuckles. 

She let out another soft sigh, “Leave it to Jimmy to burst my bubble,” she tried to joke. “Is he as big of a pain in the ass as he seems to be?” she asked slyly.

Matt chuckled softly and then grew silently. “Actually, he’s one of my closest friends. For all his screwing around he’s the one I can truly rely on to have my back when things get hairy. That night after he proved to us who you were, I had a lot of thinking to do. We talked for awhile after everyone else went off to bed. I wasn’t sure of what to make of it all and he talked me into going up the next morning and letting you know that I knew what your secret was.”

She raised an eyebrow minutely since anything else was painful but she waited for him to continue, wondering where this was leading to. She could sense that it was going somewhere but she just wasn’t sure where.

“Before he left though, he gave me some good advice. He said that before I went up there, I had better be sure of my feelings for you. Not about what you are or who you used to be or what you kept from me or why. He said that I needed to be sure of my feelings about who you are now. If I went up there and I wasn’t sure of myself and what I felt for you, you’d sense it. It would most likely be my one shot to make things truly right with you…if that’s what I wanted.” Matt finally grew quiet as he watched her face.

Clara was silent for a long moment as she pondered Jimmy’s advice to Matt. Finally she took in a slow breath until she felt the beginning of the pain that told her she’d gone as far with it as she could. With a slow exhale she steadied herself for the answer to what she was about to ask next. 

“And are you sure of your feelings for me and about who, what I am?” came her voice, soft and a slight tremor she hoped he wouldn’t hear.

In answer, Matt stood up slowly and instead of answering in words, he leaned down over the bed railing, gently kissing her on the lips. She could smell the scent of pine and wood smoke on his clothes, could taste the hint of mint on his lips and she closed her eyes for a moment to take in every sensation that that one simple kiss exuded. She wanted to remember everything about it, down to the last detail of the roughness of the healing cut on his lip from where he’d been assaulted a week before.

When he finally broke it off and put a little distance between them so he could look down at her, he smiled softly at her. “Does that answer your question?”

She opened her eyes slightly and quirked her head, “I don’t think I heard you right the first time. You better repeat that again so I can make sure I understood you correctly.”

Matt’s cheeks showed a soft flush but he didn’t seem to mind repeating himself.

TBC ---


	28. Chapter 28

The media frenzy had been exactly what she had expected it to be. Due to her disappearance and now the arrest of her manager, things had been turned on their ear. It didn’t take long for the paparazzi to figure out which hospital she was in. Within six hours of Randall’s arrest, the news vans began to arrive and set up camp outside of the hospital. 

The city police had been called in to station off duty police officers at every entrance and exit of the hospital to keep all unauthorized personnel that didn’t either work at the hospital or have someone they were visiting, out. Within twenty-four hours, the parking lot was overflowing with news media and fans holding up get-well signs while working to get their fifteen minutes of fame by being at the right place at the right time. 

People kept trying to sneak into the hospital to see her but thankfully she was listed under her real name and not her stage name. Everyone that came into the hospital had to give the name of the person they were there to see and if the person was not on the roster or the person trying to get in was not on the list of expected visitors for that patient, they were escorted off site. This often caused a ruckus in the front lobby until police could escort the individual off site with a verbal warning that the next time they entered the facility under false pretences, they would be arrested for trespassing. No one seemed willing to try it twice but there were at least twenty people that tried it daily.

Flowers began arriving by the dozen and finally it was all Clara could do not to scream from the interruptions as orderlies brought them into her room. When there were no places left to set anything on, they had begun to put them on the floor. Her room began to have a cast of a sickening sweet scent and she was beginning to develop a headache from it all. 

Matt finally made it back to the hospital two days after he’d been there last, only to peek into her room to find her propped up in bed with a drained, pale look to her face. A folder of papers on the adjustable table across her bed in front of her sat ignored as she rubbed absently at her forehead. Her left arm had been secured across the front of her chest to keep it as immobile as possible, minimizing her movement of that side of her body.

He knocked on the door and as she looked up a little, he felt his cheeks flush at the look of utter relief on her face at seeing him. If he could do anything for her to relieve the stress lines on her face, he would. Walking over to her bed, he looked at the folder on the table. “Looks like some heavy reading. You sure you’re up for it?” he asked as he realized it was the paperwork from Lisa on the lawsuit against Randall and her parents.

She groaned a little. “My eyes hurt. My nose hurts…,” she complained softly as she shut the folder and pushed it slightly away from her.

Looking at her curiously, he leaned down to kiss her forehead, “Why do your eyes and nose hurt?” he asked cautiously.

“Because of these damned flowers…,” she growled. “They just keep coming and there’s no room for them. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want them…well, I don’t want most of them except the ones from people I really know, like my band members and the few others I can call friends from my ‘old’ life,” she said as she used her right hand to rub at her forehead again as if to ease a headache.

“Are you allergic to flowers?” he asked cautiously.

“I have no idea. I’ve never been around this many before in my life. But I think anyone stuck in a room 24/7 with this many could become so,” she grumped softly. “I could open a flower shop with the stock I have in here at this moment…and this is probably just the beginning.”

Matt raised his eyebrow. “Well then, let’s see what we can do about it then. Can’t have you buried under an avalanche of flower petals now can we? I’d have to be called in to rescue you,” he said with a wicked little grin as he moved over towards the closest basket of arranged flowers.

She gave a slight huff, “Oh no, can’t have that…not at all,” she snarked back. “What would I ever do? I’d be indebted to you for rescuing my sorry ass twice.”

He turned to look at her for a moment with a charming smile on his face, “That wouldn’t be all that bad now would it?”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour later, the room looked a lot less cluttered and didn’t smell so sickly sweet. Running the bathroom fan helped clear some of the air. Matt had gone through each bouquet and flower arrangement, reading the cards aloud to her. If it was from someone she knew and cared about, he put them to the side. If they were from someone she didn’t like or didn’t know he had put them close to the door though he kept the card and wrote on the back what had come with the card in case she needed to reference it later.

As he was about to finish with the last few vases of flowers, one of the nurses came in to check Clara’s readings and take her temperature and blood pressure. The nurse looked around with a raised eyebrow.

“Excuse me?” asked Clara as she waited for the nurse to take care of her duties. “Do you have any patients in the hospital that don’t have any relatives or are elderly with no one to bring them anything to cheer them up?” she asked quietly.

Susan, from what her name badge read, looked up at her. “Yes, we have several here who fit that description. Why?”

Clara gestured towards the flowers. “I’m getting overwhelmed here and in the end, when I finally leave, I can’t take these with me. I’d rather they go to someone who it might brighten their day or make them smile.” She felt the blood pressure cuff tighten down around her arm as the nurse listened to her heart beat.

When she was finished, Nurse Susan took off the cuff. “I think that could be arranged,” she said with a smile. “Should I tell them who they came from?”

Shaking her head slightly, Clara smiled back, “No, just tell them they are from someone who thought they needed something to brighten their day.”

Susan smiled, “All right. I’ll send an orderly to collect these and distribute them. There’s also a nursing home next door to us. I can make sure that some get taken there too.” She paused for a moment thinking, “What about any others that might get delivered?”

Clara tried to smile at the nurse, “Bring me the card first. I’ll let you know if I want them. But most of the people I really would want anything from have already sent something and we’ve kept those here,” she said, indicating the couple of vases of roses and few baskets of flower arrangements. 

The nurse nodded, “I think we can manage that. Do you want me to bring you anything for the pain?” she asked then, knowing that Clara was beginning to suffer from the strained look on her face.

“Not right now. I’ll send Commander Hawkes out to find someone when I’m ready for something,” she said as she tried to convey that she wasn’t quite ready to go to sleep just yet.

With that, Susan nodded again and headed out to find the orderly to remove the large amount of flowers. Matt remained quiet, putting the flowers she wanted to keep up on the tables and window sill as an orderly came back with a cart a few minutes later and began to load it. It took the man several trips but finally the room was much emptier and Clara felt a bit more relaxed.

“Oh thank god…,” she said as the last of the unwanted flowers were removed. “I didn’t realize how claustrophobic I was beginning to feel.”

Matt made his way over to the door and shut it most of the way, coming back over and moving the table away from her bed. He sat down in the chair next to her. “I would have come earlier today but the higher elevations finally got a heavy snow and we’ve been busy with the people that just had to be the first ones out into the first new snow of the season…and got stuck or stranded.”

Taking a slow, even breath until she felt the twinge of pain in her lung, she exhaled slowly. “Think there’s snow up at my place?” she asked, aching to be up there, alone or with Matt, having something hearty to eat other than the soup broth and jell-o they kept trying to feed her. She wanted to be next to a warm fire and not sitting here, in pain and feeling chilled half of the time.

“Dad radioed down this morning that they got three feet up there. So if he got snow, so did you. They were going to go over tomorrow and clean your cabin now that the forensics teams are done with anything they might need up there and Sheriff McBride has released the scene for any cleaning that needed to be done.” Matt watched her face carefully. He recognized the look of home-sickness almost immediately and wished he hadn’t said anything.

“They don’t have to do that. I’ll take care of it when I’m up there next time,” she said, though she had no idea when that would be. Lisa had just been in there that morning and after a bit of a heated argument, had finally convinced her to go back to LA until she was needed to be at the trail to testify. Lisa had had a valid argument and Clara had only been thinking with her heart and not her mind in the matter of wanting to stay here in Tahoe. Now she had to find a way to tell Matt what had been decided.

Matt reached out and took her hand, “Clara, dad doesn’t mind. It’ll give them a chance to go over and check things out for you. Cody said it’ll give them a chance to burn some of that nice wood you worked so hard to cut up this year since he didn’t think you’d be able to be up there by yourself for at least a few months. He said it would be a shame for all that hard work to go to waste.” He smiled, hoping the teasing from his little brother would lighten her spirits.

Clara bit her lip and looked away some. “I need to talk to you about that Matt,” she said quietly.

Matt felt his heart drop into his stomach at those words and he looked at her with growing concern. “Talk to me about what?” he asked, trying to get her to spit it out.

She was quiet for a few moments as if trying to collect her thoughts and finally she turned her head and looked at him, her eyes almost desperately sad. “Lisa was here today to talk to me about the upcoming trials and about going back to LA until the murder trial started.”

This last bit caught Matt a bit off guard as he had thought that after Clara left the hospital, she would perhaps rent a place in town or maybe he could convince his dad to let her to stay with them for the time being until she was healed up enough to be on her own again. “Going back to LA?” he asked as if to confirm he’d heard her right.

She grimaced slightly, “Yeah. I wanted to stay here but Lisa convinced me to go back to LA until I’m needed to appear at the trial. She doesn’t want to chance me getting snowed in but…,” she paused and looked over at him, “Her main concern is about the Rangers and you. You don’t know the press and paparazzi like we do. You’re taking a chance already by being here, being seen in a room with me and for no real reason. All it will take is one person willing to make a few dollars to go to some rag reporter or news agency that will pay them for the exclusive on my ‘love’ interest and you and your team will be hounded by those vultures. They will get in your way, hound you for information, go through your garbage for anything interesting they can get on you and will dig into your background looking for dirt. They will even go so far as to make things up about you just to sell papers and magazines. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. You’ll spend years suing them for damages but in the meantime it will take your focus away from your work, put a strain on your relationship with everyone around you, maybe even between us. In the end, it’s better if I go back to LA and ‘pretend’ that there’s nothing going on between us and put some distance between Tahoe and I, as if I could care less. They will follow me back to LA and only wander out this way for the trial dates.”

Matt was quiet as he listened to her, trying to envision what she was explaining to her. “These people would seriously go through our garbage?” His mind seemed stuck on that one in particular.

“They do mine and many, many other famous Hollywood and music stars. That’s why many of them have to hire special garbage services that will come in and collect their garbage and destroy it, shredding or incinerating it as soon as it gets back to the processing plant. They sign agreements that nothing in what is collected will be taken to the public otherwise they could be liable for millions of dollars in damages.” She grew quiet and Matt got the feeling there was more so he remained still, trying in a silent way to encourage her to go on. 

“I might not be able to call or write very often either, if at all. These people have ways of bugging phones, paying your staff to go through your mail or monitor your phone calls. Unless you can catch people at it, you can’t prove anything. I’ve even heard of postal workers being paid off to let someone see a celebrity’s incoming or outgoing mail. It’s sad really. We have no privacy though the outside world thinks we have it made. The public has no idea the freedom we lose by putting ourselves into the public eye like we do and all for the purpose of their entertainment.” He could see that she was trying not to clench her teeth in frustration at the memories her words were bringing back. 

“Matt, it’s a strange and bizarre world that I’ve lived in all these years. That’s why moving up here to Jake’s was so…exhilarating. I didn’t have these worries, these fears of someone trying to make stuff up about me, trying to make money off of something I said that was taken out of context or trying to make me look bad to the public just so they could make money off of selling their magazines and rag newspapers at the supermarket checkout lines.” She looked away and then up at the ceiling. 

He rubbed his eyes before running his hand up over his forehead then through his tousled blonde hair. Finally he sighed as he ground his teeth in frustration. “Would you be coming back? I mean, I don’t want to lose you and I know this sounds selfish, but I’m not willing leave Tahoe or the Sierra’s to follow after you.” 

There was a sad tiny smile on her lips, “I would never ask you to leave here. You ‘fit’ here. Not there. Hell, I don’t think I ‘fit’ there anymore either. I got too used to the pace of life here in the last six months. I don’t think I want to go back to a faster pace for too long. I promise I’ll come back but I don’t know how long it’ll be. It could be six months, it could be a year. It’ll all depend on how long it takes for Randall’s attempted murder trial and then for the lawsuit against Randall and my parents. My record company may not let me out of my contract and that alone required I stay with them until I’m twenty-five. I won’t know until things settle down a little and play out.” She squeezed his hand, her blue eyes looking steadily into his. “But I promise that I’ll come back to you as soon as I can.”

Matt nodded, trying to hide his frustration and show her his understanding. His mind was whirling around with the knowledge that he might lose contact with Clara for some time and he wasn’t sure if he could handle seeing her at the trial and act like there was nothing between them. Intellectually he knew she was right and that she had to do it this way, not only to protect him but to be able to finish what had been started. However, his heart was aching already from wanting to hold her and knowing he couldn’t, not just from her injuries but from the chance someone might see them. It was frustrating, infuriating and all he could do was nod in agreement and go along with it.

He kissed the back of her fingers again, “I promise I’ll wait,” was all he could say in response.

TBC ---


	29. Chapter 29

Jesse came through the doors of the hospital, having followed Cody inside and brushed the snow off his coat. Winter was finally coming down out of the mountains and into Tahoe proper. It had begun to snow early that morning in town and had been coming down at a steady pace since then. The forecast was talking about a possible two feet of snow in Tahoe before this storm system moved on. Thankfully it had deterred a number of the press from stepping out of their vans and had actually driven many of the last remaining away.

Clara had been in the hospital for over three weeks and with statements by Sheriff McBride and Lisa Elliot, the press got as much information about Shandra Lee’s side of the story as they were going to get. After multiple attempts to reach her in the hospital, many of the news stations had begun to leave after the first week, by the end of the second, a majority of those remaining were paparazzi from magazines and they too were now gone. The only ones left were a few rag reporters that seemed to want to do nothing more than cause problems. But thanks to the snow and cold, even they seemed to have had enough.

Jesse and Cody had spent two days at Clara’s cabin scrubbing the blood stained floor, cleaning up the fingerprint powder that was everywhere and putting the cabin back to rights. Jesse spent time patching the bullet hole in the quilts and blankets that had been damaged when she’d been shot through them. He’d had to bring two of them down to be washed to get the blood stains out of them but they were now back at her cabin and the bed freshly made. They’d tried to make it look as though nothing had happened. They had closed up the cabin for the winter with shutters over the windows since they didn’t know when she’d be able to get back to the cabin. Jesse had sent Cody over to get her horses and what few chickens she had left only a few days after she’d been shot. They had made short work of the chickens, canning what they didn’t eat, since the birds weren’t meant to be kept alive during the winter in the higher elevations. 

They’d managed to make it down twice off the mountain while she was recovering. Matt had been swamped at work and the weather had changed in the higher elevations, bringing several large snow storms that had buried Jesse and Cody in for a few days until they could dig out enough to get the snow mobiles out and get down the mountainside to the station. 

The doctors had finally given Clara a clean bill of health the day before and planned to release her today if there were no further complications. She was still going to be dealing with the pain of the broken rib and the damage to her lung but she had healed well enough that the doctors were in agreement that any further progress was just a matter of rest and letting her body heal. With a sigh of relief, she had called Matt see if he or Jesse could bring her a change of clothing so she could leave wearing something that fit and was at least warm.

Matt was to meet up with them in a few minutes with a duffle bag of clothing for Clara since he had been the one to make the trip up there to fetch what she had needed. Lisa had told them last night that Clara was headed back to LA once she was released. There were issues she had to take care of back there legally as well as needing to recover while waiting for the attempted murder trial to take place before going after Randall and her parents for stealing her money. Matt hadn’t said much last night during the conversation but he seemed a bit too quiet about the whole situation for Jesse’s comfort. 

Clara hadn’t said anything about going back to LA when they had visited with her but the reality of it was she was from a different world and Jesse knew it. Cody had known her secret the longest but Jesse knew Cody had been silently hoping that she’d give up that life and stay at Jake’s for good. With her attempted murder by her manager, she was now more or less free of his influence to return to her home in LA, return to her music or acting and able to continue on with her old life without the stress of what had driven her away from it in the first place. Jesse had been quietly hoping for his sons’ sake she’d want to stay in Tahoe but after hearing what Lisa had to say, he knew his hopes weren’t enough to make it a reality.

Matt came through the front doors of the hospital carrying a light gray duffle bag and brushed the snow from his hair. “Hey,” he said as he came up to them.

Cody said nothing, just stuffing his hands into his coat pockets and looked at the floor. Jesse raised an eyebrow at this as they made their way to the elevators that would take them to the floor Clara was on. Once they were inside the elevator, Matt gave Jesse a ‘look’ that said he’d caught the change in Cody’s mood too. A few moments later, the doors had opened and they stepped out, heading down the corridor towards Clara’s room. 

The bodyguard that Lisa had hired for Clara’s protection when they left the hospital to head back to LA wasn’t standing guard outside of her room as they approached. Upon looking in the door of the room they could see that many of the remaining flowers and arrangements were missing. A nurse was working to pack up several of the machines to begin putting the room back into order for the next occupant after Clara left.

“Excuse me ma’am,” called Jesse, “But where is Clara Rodgers?”

The nurse looked up, startled and blinked. Recognizing the three men, she relaxed and smiled. “She’s up on fifth. If you want to see her, you’ll find her there. Otherwise you can wait for her here. I’m sure she’ll be back down in a bit.”

Jesse raised an eyebrow, “Can we leave her clothes here?”

The nurse nodded, “Sure.” She came over and took the offered bag from Matt and set it on the bed, going back to her duties.

Matt looked at Jesse, then Cody. “I wonder what’s up on fifth floor….”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

As the three Hawkes men stepped off the elevator on the fifth floor, it was immediately obvious what this floor was for. The entire hallway was done up in bright colors with pictures of bears, bunnies, rainbows and balloons. 

Matt and Cody exchanged startled looks but Jesse simply walked down the hallway, looking for the bodyguard he was sure would mark where Clara was. Spotting the man outside a sliding glass door, Jesse made his way down the hall towards him.

The doors looked automatic but the man sat to the side, keeping somewhat out of the way and watching those who came and went as far as staff and family. Inside the glassed in room was a children’s ward. Outside the glass doors was a long nurse’s desk that was obviously set up that way so that the staff could easily keep an eye on the children without having to leave their posts. 

The three men walked over to the bodyguard and looked inside. Ten beds inside all showed signs of being occupied, though only four still held the children assigned to them. The other six children and several adults that must have been relatives were with them in chairs in front of a small dais near the back of the room. 

Sitting in a chair there, dressed in scrubs was Clara. She still looked pale, her left arm in a sling though she used her left hand finger tips to hold the edge of an oversized book with big pictures while using her right hand to turn the pages. She was obviously reading to the children in the ward who seemed in awe that she was there at all.

“You three must be Jesse, Matt and Cody. Lisa said you’d be by.” He jerked his head a little towards Clara in the room. “Kids saw on TV that Shandra Lee was in this hospital and several begged one of the nurses to see if she’d come see them before she left,” supplied her bodyguard who remained sitting, looking relaxed, yet his eyes assessed everything going on around the area. 

Jesse nodded to the man. He was glad that Lisa remembered to tell the man they were stopping by to see Clara. His eyes watched the kids and he smiled. He knew how persistent kids could be when they wanted something. He looked over at Matt to see that he was simply staring at Clara, his eyes never leaving her. Cody seemed dumbstruck for a moment then blinked as if coming back to himself.

“One of the nurses asked her if she’d come talk to the kids, maybe sign a few autographs, that sort of thing. Instead, she came up here and spent time with each kid in the ward, getting to know them. This is their naptime story she’s reading to them,” the guard said, looking up at Jesse with a slight smile. “She’s been up here all morning…”

Jesse returned the smile and nodded, “Seems she’s pretty good with kids, wouldn’t you say son?” he said teasingly to Matt.

Matt blinked and looked over at his dad before rolling his eyes, knowing his dad was perhaps trying to hint at something. “Yeah,” was all he could say as his eyes moved back to watch her. As she turned the page, she feigned an exaggerated gasp then scrunched up her face to look scary as she read the part from the evil stepmother in the story, causing several of the kids squeal with laughter. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

“I don’t see why you have to move back to LA...,” Cody said for the second time. “You could just stay with us. We’d help take care of you until you can be on your own.”

Clara was sitting on her hospital bed waiting for the doctor to come to give her one last check up before releasing her. She frowned a little, a touch of sadness to her features.

“Because having me around right now Cody would make your brother’s job three times as hard with all the press trying to find where I was staying and getting lost in the snow or pestering the Rangers to take them up there or finding some way of getting into trouble. Besides, you and Jesse have already been snowed on twice so far and with the upcoming trials and court dates I have to be sure I can get out and be to court reliably every time. I can’t guarantee that if I get snowed in,” she tried to explain.

Matt had kept quiet about their discussion on the whole subject matter of her leaving Tahoe for LA. He thought it would be best if he didn’t tell the others the real reason she was leaving or of her promises to return. He didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up in case she couldn’t follow through but it was best if no one knew how much it really hurt him to see her go. 

She looked suddenly crest fallen. “I want to stay guys. I just….I…,” before she could finish, the doctor entered the room, breaking off her statement. 

“Come on you two. Let’s give the lady some privacy. Matt, you’ve got your shift coming up in an hour anyway,” said Jesse as he moved over to Clara. He put a hand gently on her right shoulder. “You call us if you need anything, even if it’s just to talk. You need us for anything you know where we’ll be.” With that, he leaned forward and gave her a kiss on her forehead since her cheeks were still swollen and bruised. 

Cody went up to her still looking a little sullen, “Write to me?” he asked her quietly. 

Her only response was to lean forward slightly and give him a kiss on the cheek, “I’ll try,” she whispered. 

Jesse put his arm around Cody’s shoulder and they left together, leaving Matt standing there as the doctor waited patiently. She looked up at Matt, wanting to say a thousand things to him and found her tongue not willing to cooperate. He moved over to her and she absently rubbed the spot on her chest above her sternum. “Don’t know if this is heartache I’m feeling or leftover from you doing chest compressions on me…,” she tried to joke.

He smiled with a touch of sadness in his eyes. “Take care of yourself,” he said as he leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. Before she could respond with one of her own, he had stepped back, turned and walked out of the door. Her eyes followed him with desperation as she watched him walk out of sight. She had to force her body to sit where it was and not leap off the bed and go running after him. This left her alone with the doctor who had watched all of it with a neutral eye as if this were something he saw every day. 

The doctor came over to her after a moment and pointed to her chest, “I would suggest that if that pain doesn’t go away in a few months, you should come back and have him check it out.”

She tried to smile at his joke but was too busy blinking her eyes quickly to keep the tears from falling to make it convincing.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Clara was sitting in a chair an hour later when Lisa arrived, staring out the window of her room. It had already been stripped of all of the flowers, machines and even the bedding, leaving only the occupant left to vacate it. She hated the fact that the snow was keeping her from seeing the mountains for the last time before she left Tahoe. She had been at war with herself for the last hour, telling herself that she was a fool for letting Matt walk away like that then turning around and telling herself that she had to do this to protect him and the others until things died down and the newness wore off the scandal. 

“Are you ready to head back to LA?” said Lisa in a cheerful voice as she walked into the room, taking in the lone figure of the woman silhouetted by the thick layer of snow falling outside the window.

Clara turned her head to look at Lisa. “Not really,” was her only reply as she got up out of her chair.

Lisa looked over the clothes she was dressed in. She was wearing her old faded blue jeans, her worn out work boots and an old, thick flannel shirt. Clara pulled the oversized denim jacket, lined in lambs wool, off the back of her chair and put her right arm in it and draped it over her left shoulder, buttoning it closed over the top of her left arm. All of her motions and the way she held herself seemed to speak of someone who was defeated.

“Hey, you’ll get to come back. This is just a temporary setback,” said Lisa as she motioned the bodyguard to come forward with the wheelchair. It was hospital policy that outgoing patients be taken to the front doors in a wheelchair. Why, she didn’t know but if they insisted on it, they’d abide by it. She moved over to Clara and helped finish buttoning the old coat. “We’ll need to get you a different wardrobe on the way back. Can’t have you getting out of the limo at your place looking like this.”

For one moment, Clara felt panic rise up in her throat and threaten to choke her. “No! I’m fine. I’ve got clothes at home. It’ll be dark by the time we get there anyway,” she tried to reason out. These were the last link she would have back to ‘home’. She wasn’t willing to give them up just yet.

Lisa blinked, “All right. No new clothes for now.” With that, she let Clara get into the wheelchair and saw the pained expression on her face. “When was the last time you had a dose of pain medication?”

“Not since last night. They make me feel funny,” said Clara a little crossly and she motioned for the bodyguard to hand her the gray nylon bag Matt had brought her earlier. Most of the things in her bag were bandages and medications the hospital had given her as well as prescriptions and directions on cleaning her wound and re-bandaging it. But tucked away, hidden amongst the papers and bandages in the bottom of the bag were a couple of Cody’s scenic pictures, including one of the three Hawkes men together. On the back of that one was written ‘Don’t forget us’ in Matt’s handwriting. That alone had almost undone her when she’d seen it. She’d cried for some time and had to stop herself from calling him to tell him to come get her. 

As the bodyguard pushed her out into the hallway, Clara kept her eyes down on the bag as if afraid it might disappear. Lisa spoke up as they walked. “I’ve made arrangements for your place to be cleaned and I’ve had the security company go in to sweep for bugs and any other monitoring devices. They’ve installed a state of the art security system since you insisted on letting all of your staff go. I made sure your fridge and pantry were stocked as well with things you could easily make yourself until you’re able to use your left arm a little better. I’m having one of their security guards stay on the premises for the first few days until you can get some rest and settle back in. I’m sure the press will be trying to get a glimpse of you or get to you so it’s best to have someone on hand to keep them away so you can focus on getting better.”

Clara only nodded, “Thanks,” was all she could manage. She was sure that once she got back to LA and managed to get some sleep, she’d be in a little better spirits but until then she felt drained and with the thought of leaving her cabin, Matt, Cody…it felt as though she was being drained a little more with each step the bodyguard took toward the exit.

As they reached the main level and came to the front door, Clara could see how deep the snow had gotten and watched as snow plows worked to keep the parking lot clear as more continued to fall from the sky. A baby-limo sat in front of the hospital and she let out a slight groan as the remaining reporters seemed to have sensed that only one person was classy enough in the hospital to warrant a limo, which meant she must be leaving. There must have been fifteen of them all with cameras at the ready, surrounding the front doors and the limo.

Lisa murmured something to the bodyguard and he let Lisa have the handles of the wheel chair as he moved to stand in front of Clara, saying something into a small radio he pulled out of his jacket. Lisa tapped her on her good shoulder. “Come on hon. Let’s get you into the car. As soon as the driver gets the door open, we’ll take you from here straight into the open back door.”

Standing slowly, her hand gripping the nylon bag tightly, she sighed. “As my Great Uncle Jake would say, ‘This ain’t my first rodeo darlin’.” 

Within moments, the driver had come around the front of the car and had opened the back door and then moved in a way that would block extra space between the car door and the front of the hospital. Already cameras were flashing as they took his picture and that of the limo. Her bodyguard moved out ahead of them and the automatic doors of the hospital slid open, letting in the cold mountain air.

Clara took in a slow, deep breath of the snow and pine scented air until she felt that twinge of pain and then exhaled. She walked forward and as soon as she passed the threshold, the questions began to be shouted at her as several of the paparazzi tried to get closer to her even though her bodyguard and driver did their best to keep them at a distance. 

“Shandra Lee! It’s reported you tried to shoot your manager? Is this true? 

“Did you try to take your own life?” 

“How did you get those bruises on your face Shandra Lee?”

“What do you have to say to the allegations that your manager says he’s been falsely accused of attempted murder?” 

One question stumbled and blurred onto the other as she walked to the back of the limo, not bothering to look at any of them though she could feel them staring at her face and taking in her appearance. The flashes of light were almost a constant as picture after picture were taken. 

Once inside the limo, she slid over so Lisa could join her and the door was shut quickly behind them, sealing out the noise of the questions. The driver moved around to the front and her bodyguard got into the passenger front seat. Within moments, the car was moving and they slowly pulled out of the parking lot as more, fainter flashes of light flickered behind them as a few last photos were taken of the retreating limo.

Lisa let out a slow breath, “Well, that went as expected. Let’s just hope that when we get you home, we can keep them behind closed gates and hopefully you can get some much needed rest.”

Clara didn’t respond as she turned her head to look out the window at the falling snow that was obscuring her view of anything but the trees closest to the road. Perhaps it was for the best that she couldn’t see the mountain that was her true home. It might be the one last thing needed to make her change her mind…but would that be such a bad thing?

TBC ---


	30. Chapter 30

_Early March_

“Hey Cody!” called Jimmy as Cody came in the station door, stomping the snow off his boots. “Long time no see,” he joked.

“If you call a week a long time Jimmy, I’d hate to see what you consider a month,” snarked Cody as he pulled off his coat.

Robin looked up from her desk, “Hey Cody. Got some mail for you,” she said as she pulled out a thick padded manila envelope from under a stack of paperwork.

“Yeah, Matt radioed me last night and said I had something,” he said, taking it from Robin.

Matt’s door was shut which was usually a sign that he was busy doing paperwork or dealing with something that he didn’t want interrupted. Cody went over to the pool table that was empty for the time being and looked over the package.

“Heard the latest on Clara’s lawsuit?” asked Jimmy from where he sat on the couch, reading one of his romance novels. He knew Cody hadn’t so he just kept talking. “Sounds like the case is still dragging on. They’re speculating it could drag on as long as another month.”

Cody looked over at Jimmy and grimaced. It had been just over six months since Clara had been shot in early October. They had already found Randall guilty of attempted 1st degree murder in early January. He had been sentenced to life in prison and now he and Clara’s parents were being sued due to issues with the contracts they had signed on behalf of representing Clara’s interests while she was underage and working as an actor and a singer. They had basically taken her money and had worded it so that it left her with barely anything by the time she turned twenty-five. Randall and her parents must be fighting tooth and nail to keep their money but Cody had a feeling that if Lisa had done things right, Clara would get pretty much everything her parents and Randall had left after the lawyers were done taking their share. She’d probably be a very wealthy woman even after it was all said and done.

As he flipped the envelope over, he thought about what that might mean for her. He still wondered if she’d ever come back to live here or if she’d go back to the life of a rock star and actor. He’d heard about how she had ignored Matt and the Rangers when she’d been in town for the trial. She hadn’t come by to say hello and she hadn’t bothered to even call. From the grumblings around the office, this had obviously ruffled quite a few feathers until the Rangers had received a short note from Clara, slipped inside a Christmas card from the Law Offices of Shapiro, Miller, Vanana and Elliot. She apologized for her actions and explained that she didn’t dare do anything that would draw attention to the fact that she had some form of connection to them for fear that the press would get wind of it and act like sharks with the scent of blood in the water. She’d signed it by saying she missed them all. This had calmed some of the mutterings but feelings were still a little hurt at the lack of communication from her.

Cody thought it was more for their feelings about what had gone on between Matt and Clara, seeing how it was tearing Matt up not having her around and they were being protective of him in their own way. Matt was moody lately and Cody felt for his brother. He worried about him and hoped that Clara would give it up and come back here to live. He liked having her around and he’d thought she and Matt would make a good couple. Hell, he wouldn’t mind having her as a sister-in-law but that was a thought he kept closely guarded.

Bringing his thoughts back to the present, he focused on what was in his hands. Seeing nothing special about the thick envelope, he opened it and pulled out the contents. Inside were a number of things from a prepaid padded envelope, a letter, a nature magazine and a stack of 8”x10” photos in protective sheets. Curious, he picked up the letter and began to read.

_To Cody Hawkes,_

_A mutual friend of ours, Shandra Lee, contacted me a few weeks ago and told me all about you and your passion for photography and nature. She said she gave you some advice on putting a few more items into your portfolio and told me to send you some examples of what else you might need to flush it out._

_I’ve known Shandra since she was twelve and she has always been a remarkable young woman, very attentive during photo shoots and always asking questions. So when I say she has a good eye for spotting someone with talent, I take her seriously. And she said, and I quote “Cody has it in spades.” So, that being the case, I thought I would take her advice and give you some advice as well as some encouragement._

_Included in this package is one of the magazines I photograph and layout the design for. I’m sure you may have seen it around if you are an avid nature nut like myself. I’ve also included the examples of shots that she felt you could use as examples to see what else you might need to flush out your portfolio. The last item is a padded envelope. When you’ve got your portfolio completed, send me a copy of it in the enclosed pre-paid postage envelope and I’ll look it over for you._

_I would love to see your work and if it’s as good as Shandra says it is I have lots of resources and contacts at my disposal to help you out with either scholarships or getting some of your work published._

_Good luck,_

_Roger Fornell  
Photographer and layout designer of ‘Nature Digest’_

_P.S. Shandra said to tell you have her permission to send me a copy of the picture you took of the ‘scenery on the roof’? She wouldn’t explain what that meant but said someone named Jimmy would know. She thought I’d be impressed by it._

Cody re-read the letter twice before he looked up and realized his mouth was hanging slightly open in surprise and Matt was standing across the pool table watching him.

“Well?” Matt asked casually. “What is all of that?”

Cody closed his mouth, his cheeks heating a little as he looked down at the items on the pool table and then back up at Matt, then back at the letter. “I…,” he faltered some. “Here I thought she’d forgotten about us…me…,” he stammered a little.

This had the others attention and they came over to stand near Matt who spoke up, “Who forgot about us…you…and what’s all of that?” he asked again, keeping his tone neutral.

“Clara. I showed her my portfolio months ago and she gave me some pointers on things I should look to add to it if I wanted to get noticed or published…or apply for scholarships,” he paused for a moment. “She knows Roger Fornell…THE Roger Fornell.”

Robin made a little noise, “Wow…really? He’s done work for National Geographic and Wild Kingdom…My dad’s got a couple prints of his work on his office walls.” She pointed to the letter, “So is that from his office or something?”

Cody shook his head, “No, it’s FROM Roger Fornell.” He handed the letter to Robin and then picked up the pictures from the packet and the magazine. “She told him about my work…,” his voice said in a bit of an awed whisper.

Jimmy gave Matt a ‘look’ who in turn looked at Cody as the young man examined the photos he’d received. Matt looked back at Jimmy with a quiet smile on his lips. “Apparently she doesn’t forget her friends,” said Matt gently.

“Yeah…,” was all Cody could say to that as the others looked over the magazine and picture with him as he marveled at this sudden turn of events and good fortune.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

After the excitement of Cody’s package wore off, the two brothers had gone out for pizza. Cody had tried to get Matt to talk about Clara but he didn’t feel like he could handle dealing with his ever growing raw emotions in front of a room full of strangers. He also didn’t want his little brother seeing how much this was getting to him.

He joked around with Cody and got him back onto the subject of applying for scholarships, what he’d been doing with his dad during the winter months and if, by chance, he got into one of the colleges he was applying to, what would he do with himself in a big city. This seemed to have taken Cody’s mind off of Clara all together and Cody expressed his nervousness at being away from dad and the mountains. Matt did his best to reassure Cody that it was only for a little while and that he’d make sure to keep an eye on dad while Cody was away.

When they’d gotten back to the station, Cody had headed back up the mountain with his envelope from Roger Fornell and Matt disappeared into his office once again to try and focus on his paperwork. Unfortunately that was easier said than done. He sat there staring at Clara’s picture, wondering what she was doing, who she was with today and if she was thinking about him. They had barely managed to admit to each other that they had feelings for one another just before she’d left to go back to LA. Should he really be having feelings this strong for her, even now after all these months apart? Did she feel the same way?

He had no way of knowing. His mind kept playing over the times during the trial that he’d seen her, been close enough to speak to her and she’d done nothing more than nod and say a polite ‘hello’ before being shuffled away by Lisa and a crowd of press with onlookers. When he’d been on the stand testifying, he had to school himself into giving nothing away when he talked about how he knew Clara and his ‘relationship’ to her as being nothing more than a passing acquaintance. He had to force himself to keep from looking at her though he felt himself drawn to her as if she were a magnet and he a piece of steel.

Yet when she was on the stand, she seemed cool and collected. She hardly looked at him at all and there was no passion in her voice when she spoke about him. Was it all an act, or was this how things were now between them? The note in the card they’d received from her as a way of apology was addressed more to the Rangers than to him because several of them had been called in to testify to certain parts of the proceedings on Matt and Clara’s behalf. But she had acted towards them like she had towards him. Was the card her way of sending him a message or was it just for all of them in general?

A thousand questions rolled around in his mind and his stomach turned in knots every time his mind filled with doubts and confusion. He wanted to talk to her, see her, hold her and he couldn’t. Lisa had insisted on it when he’d called her the last time to get Clara’s number so he could talk to her. She said they didn’t want to take any chances on anyone learning there might be more to their relationship than just a nodding acquaintance. He hadn’t slept at all that night and since then the questions where two fold in his mind as he wondered if Clara was using Lisa as a way of avoiding him.

His thoughts were broken when a knock came to his door and Izzy poked his head in, “We’ve got a car that’s slid off the side of the road and is hung up on the guard rail. They need us to help get the driver out.”

Matt stood up quickly, all thoughts of Clara slipping hesitantly from his mind as he worked to focus on the business at hand. Sooner or later his questions would be answered and he’d either be able to deal with the hurt of something that wasn’t meant to be, or she’d fulfill her promise and come back. But right now, he needed to focus on his job and he headed for the door to gear up for the pending rescue.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Clara banged her head against the glass between the recording studio and the control room. It was more out of frustration for the time it was taking the audio geeks or controllers, as they liked to be called, to get their act in gear than it was for the band to get back into the groove of playing together again. It seemed like every time they got started on their new song they had to stop due to some technicality. She could see the frustration on the other band members faces and finally she motioned to the others. “Take half an hour guys. Go smoke or get some coffee. I’ll work with them on their sound and maybe we can get this song recorded before the end of the day.”

Marcus, her bass guitar player came over and kissed the side of her cheek, “Thanks hon. Be back in a bit.” He was the smoker of the group and she could tell he was jonesing for a nicotine fix. She smiled at him and shooed him away.

As the others made their way out to find coffee and flop onto the couches in the rec room for a few minutes, Clara spent a few minutes waiting for the audio geeks to get their systems reset. Picking up a guitar, she slung it over her shoulder and adjusted the strap, tuned it a little to her liking and then put on the head phones so she could hear herself singing through the equipment in the sound room.

“All right guys. You ready to do some tests?” she asked as she stretched her left arm and then her right. Her wound had healed months ago but if she didn’t stretch out her arm and shoulder every now and then, as well as keep up with her breathing exercises, she got stiff and then paid for it later.

She saw the thumbs-up sign a few minutes later and taking a few deep breaths she moved forward some and positioned herself near the mic. With a stroke of the guitar pick, she began to play the melody of the song she’d been working on for the last few weeks to go with the words she’d written months ago. Leaning into the mic, she closed her eyes and began to sing in a low throaty alto, “To find this love of mine, I’d walk through wind and fire, forever and always. Hollow hands reach out, for you to touch me now, forever and always….” Her fingers flew over the strings of the guitar as she sang the words and felt her body moving to the drum beat in her mind. She lost herself in the song as she found herself thinking of the blonde headed, green eyed man the words reminded her of. Her heart ached with a deep pain at the need for him as she sang the lyrics she’d written all those months ago…the lyrics he’d accidently found and said he liked, thinking them a poem and not realizing what they truly were.

When the song ended with a final strong stroke of major chord, the guitar strings ringing out as she let their sound fade, she opened her eyes to find herself staring at her three other band members and the two controllers staring at her with varying expressions of surprise, awe and wicked humor. The intercom popped on from the audio room as Marcus leaned forward to speak into the studio mic, “So…does lover boy know that’s for him and it’s most likely gonna be our new number one hit single?” he teased her playfully.

Apparently the flushed expression on her face made the other two band members burst into laughter. They had figured out within a month of her being back in town that she was serious about someone. They had managed to pull every detail out of her about her time in the mountains and about Matt but only with the promise that they wouldn’t say a word about it to anyone. It didn’t hurt either that she had threatened them with great bodily harm at the end of a sledge hammer or splitting axe if they spoke to anyone about it. Since they’d seen the muscles she’d built up while she’d been gone, she was pretty sure they knew she could deliver on that promise.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said throwing him a threatening look since the controllers didn’t know anything about it. “Now get you’re asses in here so we can record that song we were working on. I’d like to get back to my place sometime tonight if you don’t mind?” she groused, then looked at the controllers, “That is, if you guys have got your act together.”

With quick nods from the two controllers, she motioned to the rest of the band’s equipment, “Well?”

This was followed by grins, laughter and the opening and closing of doors as the rest of the band came back into the studio.

TBC ---


	31. Chapter 31

_Mid-May_

Spring came late that year to the higher elevations but snow was beginning to melt quickly in the bright sunlight. Flowers were peeking up under the thin crust of snow left in some areas. In the higher elevations, snow still clung greedily to the sides of the mountains but it wouldn’t be long before they too succumb to the onslaught of warmer weather.

Cody was in a panic as he rushed around the cabin looking for the last book he needed before he and his dad headed down to the high school. It was barely five in the morning but he had a two and a half hour ride to get into town so he could take his finals. It might barely be spring in the mountains but it was already late spring in Tahoe.

“Cody, I thought you had all of this stuff packed up last night,” called his dad from downstairs.

“I did but I pulled out one of the books to study before I went to bed,” came back the answering voice.

Jesse sighed and finished his cup of coffee and put together a sandwich for Cody to eat on the way down, knowing the boy would be too nervous to bother eating before they left. He tossed in an apple as well.

He smiled to himself. Cody was taking his senior finals today and on the way home, they were going to stop by the station, get Matt and come back up to the cabin for some R and R. He had planned a little fishing trip with Matt ahead of time to make sure he’d take the time off.

Who knew what lay ahead in the next few months before Cody went off to college and Jesse decided to make the most of the time he could. Cody had started applying for scholarships last November as well as putting in applications to several colleges that focused on photo journalism but thanks to the high recommendation of Roger Fornell, Cody managed to land himself a full ride scholarship to the Academy of Art University in San Francisco. Jesse was nervous about his youngest going away to a big city but Matt had promised that he would make sure that Cody would be ready to handle the big city by the time classes started this fall.

His youngest had grown into a fine young man and though he was the youngest, he too would soon leave the ‘nest’. But before that happened, Jesse would do his best to get in a few more months of time with Cody before life took him off in other pursuits.

Cody came down the stairs and put the last book in his saddle bags then looked at his dad nervously. “All right. Guess I’m ready.”

Jesse handed him the sack breakfast and smiled, “You’ll do fine son. Have faith in yourself.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

A newer model blue Dodge pickup with a topper on the back pulled into the parking lot of the Ranger Station. Behind it was a two stall used horse trailer carrying at least one horse from the dark brown nose that stuck out slightly through one of the slits to sniff at the air. Robin looked up from her desk and out the front window of the station after noticing the flash of light coming off one of the mirrors of the truck. She noted the California license plate but due to the sun glare off the front window she couldn’t see who was inside. Since nothing rang any bells with her as far as the truck description or license plate number, she said nothing to the others who were scattered around the inside of the station. It was only 8:30 in the morning and everyone was working on their list of tasks that Tim had just handed out to them earlier.

Matt normally would have handed out their assignments to them but he was upstairs in his room sleeping off a dose of pain killers and already working on his ‘time off’. They’d all had a scare with him the evening before during a rather tricky rescue of a stranded hiker that had fallen and slid down a shale cliff side. Matt had been the one to go after him and after securing the hiker to the harness, one of Matt’s ropes had frayed and snapped under the strain. Thankfully the hiker had stayed attached to the spare rigging secured to him but Matt had ended up sliding half way down the incline with loose shale around him. He was all right as far as no broken bones or serious injuries but he was black and blue down one side of his body with rock abrasions and small cuts.

Jesse and Cody would be stopping by later this afternoon after Cody’s senior final exams were done and they were planning on taking him back up to the cabin to make him take some down time and possibly go on a fishing trip with them. Lord knew he deserved it with the hell he’d been through the past few months. The Rangers were all in secret agreement that he was working himself to the bone just so he’d be too busy to think about Clara. She had only sent them one note and it was mainly to the whole group, not to Matt. They knew he was frustrated by her silence and it worried them. Cody had received a short letter around Thanksgiving but it didn’t say much in it other than she was doing better and nervous about the upcoming trial.

Looking back down at her own work and clearing her thoughts so she could focus she didn’t see the woman that got out of the truck. The sound of boots on the front porch was followed by the sound of the two doors opening and closing.

“Guy down at the store told me I had to check in if I was gonna go up into the mountains,” came a familiar voice. The usual sounds of activity slowly stilled and Robin looked up to see who had come in.

“Clara?” called Jimmy from across the room before Robin could recognize the woman standing there dressed in a nice, comfortable looking wool lined denim jacket, unlike the oversized thing she’d worn the first time they’d seen her. She was dressed in blue jeans, a thick sweatshirt and a pair of good hiking boots, all well suited for being in the mountains. Her hair had grown out some more and now hung down to her shoulders and around her face, tossed a little from the wind.

Activity in the Ranger Station had gone silent as she stood there looking at them, arms crossed. With a raised eyebrow, Clara tilted her head slightly. “What? Were you expecting the Playboy Bunny?” she asked with a slight glint of mirth to her eyes and the curve of a wicked smile to her lips.

That broke the tension and with a laugh, Jimmy leapt over the back of the couch and came over to her, wrapping his arms around her, giving her a big hug. “Bought damned time you came back,” he stated with a grin.

With a look of surprise and an ‘oof’ at being hugged so fiercely, she blinked when he let go of her. “I…yeah. I had some things I had to finish taking care of before I could sneak away.”

“Sneak away?” asked Avila as he came over, taking up a corner of Robin’s desk to perch on, smirking as if she were trying to joke.

Her blue eyes looked at him, a slight look of discomfort in them, “Yeah. Sneak away. Run away…whatever you want to call it. I’m still a hot item to the paparazzi. I couldn’t go anywhere without being followed, photographed, asked questions. I know for a fact my phone lines were tapped though it’s illegal to do so without a warrant. I’m certain that any mail I sent from my home was scanned over by postal workers paid handsomely to be shown what was in it.”

These words sobered them into silence. Significant glances were cast from one Ranger to another. “So…is that why you only wrote to us once and never called?” asked Izzy in his innocent way of asking things.

She looked over at him and then nodded, “Matt and I talked about this when I was still in the hospital. I didn’t want you guys bothered by people snooping around and asking questions. You have a hard enough job without trying to avoid those nut jobs. The two times I tried to get away to come up here when in town for the trail, I had to change plans half way here because I couldn’t shake my ‘tail’ and ended up going past this place to head into the next town over like I was going shopping or something. It really sucked,” she said with a slight frown.

Clara sighed softly then there was a glint of wicked mirth to her eyes again. “But…for the past two months, I’ve been playing a huge Shell Game on them…trying to organize things so that they never knew if I was coming or going, moving in or moving out of which house, my rental or my parents, moving vans in and out, going here and there. The things I wanted to keep and bring back up here were all moved onto a truck over time and put into storage. Of course they all think I’m on a plane for the Bahamas right now and that I’m having my parent’s house remodeled so I can move in. When in fact they will soon find out it’s been donated and turned into a halfway house for abused women. When they try to find me at my old place, it was a rental and all the furniture was rented and the lease is up on everything that wasn’t mine. I don’t live there anymore.” She grinned then. “Like I said…a big shell game.”

Tim, who grew up in the Brooklyn and had seen plenty of Shell Games played on the street corners of his neighborhood, was well aware of how slick the masters of those games could be. He laughed aloud, “Oh man! I would love to see their faces when they realize you’re nowhere to be found,” he paused to look at her seriously, “So are you here to stay for good then?”

While Tim spoke, her eyes were looking around the station. She looked back at him and nodded, “Well as part of the agreement with the record company, I have to produce one more album and go on one more tour across America with the band which is to start in about three months. Otherwise, this is my home now.” She grew quiet and then finally looked at Jimmy. “Where’s Matt?” she asked quietly.

Jimmy looked at Tim who shifted uncomfortably then frowned a little, “He’s upstairs….”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Matt was in a half dream state when he felt the bed shift along his left side as if someone was sitting next to him. Some part of his brain told him it must be his dad coming to get him to haul him up to the cabin. He vacantly wondered if he could convince him to let him sleep for another hour.

The feeling of delicate fingers brushing the hair from his forehead made his thoughts freeze in his head. His dad’s hands were never that soft and the touch was almost that of a lover’s. When those fingers ran several knuckles down his cheek, he pried his eyes open and he worked to focus them in the half dark of his room.

The feminine outline sat on the edge of his bed, only visible enough due to the mid-morning sun coming around the edges of the blinds over his windows. “Who…?” he struggled to ask. His brain was still foggy from the pain killers the ER had given him the night before. He normally didn’t like taking them but his body ached everywhere.

“The doctor told me that if the pain in my chest didn’t go away in a few months, I should come back and have you check it out,” came a soft voice that sounded familiar. Fingers brushed through his hair as his brain worked to try and connect the pieces together.

“Clara?” he mumbled, one hand going up to his eyes to try and rub away the sleep clinging to them.

“Mmm hmm,” came the affirmative. The soft hand came down to run her knuckles along his stubble roughened cheek. “I’m sorry for not writing to you or calling. I tried to make it up here twice but couldn’t shake my ‘tail’ either time.”

The words seemed to make only a little sense to his befuddled brain but he pushed himself up on his elbow and looked at her shadowed form. “Couldn’t you get word to us through Lisa?” he asked.

Her hand stilled on his cheek, “She’s the only way I was able to get what little I got out to the station and to Cody,” she said quietly. “I didn’t want to take any chances. I wanted to come back here to a place where no one would be ‘waiting’ for me to show up.”

Reaching up slowly, he found her fingers and took hold of them, gripped them gently. “I was ‘waiting’,” was all he could manage to say, this throat catching on the raw emotions he felt deep inside at seeing her again, being able to touch her once again after all these months. The pain medication he’d taken was causing the normal emotional barriers he kept up to slip and he struggled to get control of himself.

There was silence from her for a few moments, but then he felt her shift next to him. There was pressure on his shoulder as her hand pushed him back against the mattress. He gave in easily enough since he ached everywhere. He sensed her leaning over him. “You have no idea how much I missed you and these damned mountains…,” she whispered against his ear. Lifting her head a little, she found his lips with hers and kissed him tenderly, putting as much emotion into it as she could.

A little groan escaped his lips and his hand reached up, his fingers running along the back of her head, trapping her against him as he returned the kiss, showing her without words how he had missed her and the way he truly felt.

TBC ---


	32. Chapter 32

By the time Jesse and Cody came to collect Matt for his much needed R&R, the Rangers were out on calls, leaving Izzy to man the radios. Matt could tell that it was all Izzy could do to keep himself from blurting out that Clara was back in town. Thankfully Matt didn’t have to pack much and with Cody’s help, he had his horse saddled within a few minutes and then they were on their way up to the cabin.

Matt felt every ache and bruise of his body as they rode the uphill terrain and when Cody suggested stopping by Clara’s to check it out on their way through, Matt had to do his best to keep from reacting in knee-jerk panic. Clara had asked him to not tell Cody that she was back in the mountains since she’d like to get settled before she sprung the surprise on the new high school graduate.

“Coder, normally I’d say yes but I just want to get to some place warm and flat,” Matt groaned. “We can go in a few days to check it out. I’m sure it’ll still be there just like it’s been the other twenty times you’ve checked on it this winter and spring.” Matt could see the disappointment in Cody’s face but felt a touch of relief when his brother’s features turned more towards concern for Matt and his injuries.

The sun had begun to set by the time they arrived at his dad’s and it was all Matt could do to swing his aching body down out of the saddle. That slide down the shale cliff had really banged him up and the cold had made his muscles tighten even though he’d been riding for several hours. Jesse took the reins from his son and nodded towards the cabin, giving him silent permission this once to go inside without having to unsaddle his own horse. Matt made to protest but a stern look from Jesse told him not to argue.

Matt drug himself through the door and upon entering went to the fireplace and exposed the coals from the morning fire before placing several small pieces of wood on them to get a small flame going. He straightened slowly and went around the room lighting the lamps then went back to add several larger logs to the growing fire as Cody and Jesse came in, bringing their packs with them.

“Go clean up Matt. I’ll reheat some of the stew Cody and I had last night. Then you need to get to bed and sleep for a few days. We’ll go fishing when you feel a bit more alive,” his dad joked softly. Matt could see the tinge of worry in his father’s face as he felt the older man’s faded green eyes assess him carefully.

Nodding, Matt took his saddle bags from Cody. Before he moved off towards the shower, he opened one of the flaps and pulled out a padded envelope with an address written on it. “Here, this came to the station by courier today,” he said as he held it out to Cody.

Cody blinked as he took the padded envelope and looked at Matt, “What’s in it?”

Matt shrugged, “I don’t know. Open it and find out.” Matt watched out of the corner of his eye as Jesse came to the kitchen door to see what was going on.

Looking over the package, Cody carefully opened it up and pulled out a white square wrapped bundle with a rubber band around it. Putting the envelope to the side, he pulled off the rubber band and unfolded the paper around what appeared to be a cassette tape.

There was a momentary look of shock on Cody’s face as he stared at the piece of paper and then at the cassette tape. “It’s from Clara!” he exclaimed as he looked up at Matt. “She sent me one of the first cuts of her new album,” he said in a bit of awe.

Matt raised an eyebrow while desperately trying to hide his smile. “Must be nice having friends in high places,” he teased lightly. “And she sent it to you by courier. She must have thought you were someone important or something.”

“Really? I mean, someone actually brought it to the station…it wasn’t delivered by mail?” he asked as he looked over the note again.

Matt shrugged, “Yeah. A lady showed up at the station with it late this morning and said to deliver it to you.” Matt didn’t want to give any more away so he quickly changed the subject, “What’s the note say?”

Cody blinked and looked back at the paper and read it aloud, “It says, _‘Dear Cody – You should have taken your senior finals by now and if so, congratulations on finishing high school! I know you aced them all, ‘Ace’. So here’s a little early graduation present. It’s one of the first cuts of our new album. They don’t even have a name picked out or even cover art finished for it yet. Enjoy! - Love Clara’_

Matt smirked at Cody and reached out to ruffle up his kid brother’s hair. “I’m going to get that shower, eat some of dad’s food then I’m going to bed. Don’t stay up all night listening to that or dad will have your hide.” With that, Matt moved towards the bathroom but not before catching a look from Jesse that left him wondering at the expression of guarded worry he’d seen cross his father’s face. Maybe Jesse was worried about how he would react to Cody receiving something from Clara and not him.

As Matt closed the bathroom door, he let loose the a huge, sly smile he’d been holding in as he wondered what his dad would say if he only knew that ‘courier’ had been Clara herself and Matt had gotten something better than Cody ever could.

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Clara couldn’t have been happier if she’d been a pig in shit, as the saying went. Well, it was a disgusting saying but hey, she was thrilled to be ‘home’ and that’s all that mattered. She’d been back at the cabin for two days when the delivery truck had arrived with a few choice pieces of new furniture, a piano, books and an assortment of other things that she’d wanted to keep with her from her travels and time acting and singing. It really wasn’t much but they were hers and these things meant something to her.

It didn’t take long to get the new things arranged into the grand scheme of things so that everything looked again like it ‘belonged’. The next morning saw her making a trip into Tahoe to get supplies. Wearing her ‘grungy’ clothes and old worn boots along with an old cowboy hat she’d glommed onto somewhere in her travels a couple of years ago, she went unnoticed amongst the others in the grocery store. It was exhilarating to be able to take her time shopping for supplies and to not be stared or gawked at by anyone.

She made a final stop by the feed store to pick up hay and grain for the two horses she’d purchased and brought with her. She knew she’d have to reclaim the two old nags that resided at Jesse’s that she’d originally purchased when she’d first come escaped to these mountains, but not right now. With a pleased little thrill, she headed back to the cabin, knowing that within a few days, Matt would be helping her with something she had been planning for months. She just hoped she could pull it off.

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Jesse watched as Matt and Cody made a mad dash across the sand of the beach next to a mountain lake and plunge into the cold water. Both surfaced with a gasp and then began swimming for all they were worth towards the opposite shore. Jesse simply shook his head and grinned. They’d tried to talk him into joining the ‘festivities’ but he’d declined saying the only way he’d get into that lake was if he was on fire or someone needed rescuing.

Matt’s bruises were turning a nice ugly shade of yellow and green with a few of the deeper ones still centered with purple along the left side of his body. His cuts and abrasions had all healed over and were more angry red marks than anything else. That was one of the many things he was thankful for that he’d passed onto his sons. They healed fast like he did. Most of it was due to good food, fresh air and being healthy but some of it Jesse liked to think was due to the tenacity their old man had passed on.

As he watched the two swim farther out into the lake in the warm late May sun, he heard horses hooves coming up the path near where they had set up camp to go fishing for a the day. Turning to look into the line of trees, he saw a beautiful chestnut mare weaving its way through the tall pines, keeping somewhat out of sight of the lake. As the rider came closer, he saw that it was a woman and it wasn’t until she was within twenty feet of him that he realized he recognized her.

“Clara?” he said surprised voice, though keeping it low enough so that it only carried to her. He slowly stood up and moved towards her as if not believing what he was seeing.

“Hello Jesse,” she said in a warm voice, full of enjoyment at his surprise. She leaned down in the saddle as she brought the mare to a stop to keep herself somewhat out of view of the brothers in case they looked up from their invigorating swim.

“Does Matt know you’re back home?” he asked, wondering if his oldest knew and if not, he’d want to know why she hadn’t told him yet.

“Of course he does Jesse. Who do you think brought Cody his graduation present? I’ve asked Matt to keep it quiet that I’m here since I want to surprise Cody…,” she said with a warm smile to her lips.

“Oh? Care to join me by the fire? I’m sure seeing you as he gets out of the cold water of that lake will be one hell of a surprise…,” he offered with a chuckle.

She shook her head, “No. Actually I had something else in mind.” With that, she let him in on the plan as the sound of laughter could be heard coming from across the lake while two brothers rough-housed in the water.

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Cody couldn’t have had more fun in the last four days if he’d tried. After Matt had spent three days sleeping and recovering at home, they’d made plans to try out a few different fishing holes and camp in nearby caves if possible each night. Each day saw perfect weather, cool nights, warm days and plenty of photo opportunities between the wildlife, scenery, his brother and his dad. The days found the brothers goofing off on horseback, swimming or just exploring the area they were in. Jesse seemed content to hang back and do nothing more than to read or fish.

Cody wasn’t fooled since he caught his dad watching them more times than not, perhaps remembering days gone by or maybe trying to store away the memories for the days he found himself alone while Cody was gone away to college. It was thoughts like that that made Cody almost want to call the whole thing off but he knew he couldn’t get the education he needed on the mountain and he knew he’d be back as soon as he could. Nothing could keep him away from his home and a place he loved with all his being.

Nights found them sitting around the campfire reminiscing about the years that had gone by, things they’d seen and done, people they’d met and generally being a family. They avoided talking about the future and Cody avoided talking about Clara. He was still worried about his brother and how her absence and lack of communication with Matt was affecting him. He’d spent the night he’d gotten the tape listening to her new album and knew the first song was one she had written and somehow knew instinctively that it was about Matt. There was something about the song that called to him, told him that there was a longing, a need that came through in those words and he could only hope that it was true and not his imagination.

On the final night that they were planning on camping out, Matt pulled out Cody’s travel chess board and challenged his little brother to multiple games of chess. Matt wasn’t a bad hand at the game and won about half of the time. Jesse finally gave up and went to bed, shaking his head and grumbling something about the two of them being determined to see the sun rise the next morning.

When Matt finally looked up to see his brother sound asleep, his head propped up on his hand and elbow as he waited for Matt to make a move, he knew he had finally won the game of patience. Nudging Cody, he got his little brother awake enough to crawl the rest of the way into his bed roll and Matt spent a moment packing up the chess board. Banking the fire, he sat and watched his brother sleep for awhile as he quietly marveled at the innocence his brother still held to. He silently hoped that when Cody returned from the big city and college, he’d still retain some measure of it. It’s what made Cody…Cody.

Matt was lost in thought when the sound of a footstep outside the cave drew his attention and he tensed….

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Jesse was the first person awake the next morning, up before dawn was more than a hint on the horizon. Stepping outside of the cave, he reveled in the crisp morning air and stretched a little. As he prepared to take care of his morning business, he looked towards the horses that were picketed near the mouth of the cave. It took him a moment to realize that he wasn’t seeing double of Cody’s horse but in fact, there were two chestnut colored horses tied next to each other, drowsing in the cool morning air…one mare, one gelding.

With a slight smile, he made his way back into the cave and through the darkness of the interior he caught a vague outline of there being something more to Matt’s bedroll than just his long frame. Looking over to Cody’s bedroll, he saw that his youngest was still out like a light. Matt had worked hard to keep him awake longer last night in hopes of making him sleep late this morning.

Going over to the ring of stone, he stoked the coals in the middle of them and placed a few small logs on them to start a fire to fix breakfast. He worked quietly to keep from waking Cody who usually was a light sleeper. Once the fire was going, giving light to the immediate area, he looked over towards Matt’s bedroll to see a pair of blue eyes peeking out from under the covers. There were a few fingers curled around the edge of the blankets and they wiggled in a slight wave of acknowledgement.

Jesse grinned and nodded then went about getting things set out for breakfast. Clara had been nice enough to bring the supplies for a hearty breakfast with her the night before though he’d like to know how she got here in the dark or even knew where to find them. He was sure Matt or the other Rangers had something to do with it but he’d have to wait until later to find out just how.

Clara shifted and slipped from the bedroll, looking rumpled in her jeans and sweatshirt. Taking a moment to pull on her boots, she went outside for a few moments and when she came back, she looked a little more awake as carried an armload of wood with her from the pile the brothers had cut the day before. No words had to be spoken between the two who were upright and mobile as they watched the two brothers sleep for a bit longer. The sun slowly began to rise in the east, casting long shadows over the mountains and into the valley below.

When it was obvious that Cody was most definitely going to sleep late, Clara went over to Matt knelt next to him, kissing his lips tenderly then touched his face to wake him up slowly. He responded by rolling onto his back and staring upward, rubbing his eyes and looked up at her with that slow, charming smile of his though it was a bit lopsided with the edges of sleepiness. Smiling down at him she put a finger to her lips to indicate that Cody was still sound asleep.

Nodding in understanding, Matt got up and took care of folding up his bedroll before taking it outside. Clara picked up a pot with a handle from next to the supplies she’d brought in the night before and headed outside, a grin plastered to her face. Today was going to be a great day.

By the time she returned, Matt was sitting next to his dad with a camera in his lap. Jesse simply sighed and rolled his eyes. Walking carefully over to where Cody lay sound asleep she knelt down near his head and shook his shoulder with one hand while holding onto the pot with the other. “Cooooody,” she called out in a soft singsong voice. “Time to wake uuuup.”

With a groan, Cody shifted, yawned and let out a soft groan. No one said anything and remained still, making no noise so not to alert Cody to their presence. Within moments, Cody had drifted back to sleep. Reaching out again, Clara gently touched Cody’s shoulder. “Cody…wake up,” she whispered in a ghostly sounding voice this time.

Cody’s eyes began to flutter open and his head turned to look at where the voice was coming from. Before his brain could fathom what he was seeing, Clara upended the pot of glacial stream water over his head.

The shriek that sounded almost too high to have come from a man’s throat was followed by “What the…!!!” as Cody came up off the floor of the cave sputtering, trying to get away from the freezing cold water. The sound and flash of the camera taking pictures was repeated frequently for a few moments and then all was silent as Cody stood there in his jeans and soaked flannel shirt, shivering as he tried to take in what he was seeing.

“Gotcha…,” said Clara as she brandished the pot from where she ended up sitting to avoid the thrashing, spluttering young man as he came up off the cave floor.

“You…that…,” he tried to articulate. “Clara! What are you doing here? That’s…that’s not funny!” he stammered through chattering teeth.

“Oooooooh, I think that’s hilarious and I’ve got pictures to remember this moment by for the rest of my life.” Clara stood up and walked over towards Cody, “I warned you I’d get even,” she said then quickly wrapped her arms around him, giving him a hug as she kissed his cheek, oblivious to him being wet above the waist. The camera clicked and flashed again.

Cody stood there looking a bit dumbstruck as she moved away to go sit next to Matt who decided to take one more picture of the sodden, bewildered Cody for posterity sake.

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Lunch was spread out on the table in Clara’s kitchen as she stirred the soup on the stove. While she’d been laid up in LA with her injuries, she spent part of her day getting cooking lessons from a friend of Lisa’s. She had a better handle on how to do more than just the basic things now. The three Hawkes men had each taken a turn in filling her in on the news of the mountains, things that had happened while she’d been gone and brought her up to date on the local ‘gossip’, if you wanted to call it that.

She paused for a moment as the three discussed something amongst themselves at the table. She suddenly knew that all of this felt ‘right’. The sense of the cabin filled with good friends, with life and the feeling of freedom…the freedom to breath, to freedom to be oneself, to live, to love and to enjoy life, all rolled into one, no one could ask for anything more perfect. She smiled to herself as she began to ladle up the bowls of soup to go along with the salad greens she’d picked up at the store. Her garden had only been planted the day before and it would be a few weeks before she had anything worth harvesting for salads of her own.

“So Clara, I never heard what the court decided on about the case against Randall and your parents,” said Jesse as she brought over two of the bowls and set them down on the table.

She raised an eyebrow, “By the time the decision was made, the news agencies had lost interest. It wasn’t heavily publicized. It was rather ‘complicated’ and so the news summarized it more than anything.” She brought the other two bowls over and then sat down at the table with the three men. “Basically Randall lost just about everything except a small percentage for his position as my manager but it was based off the industry standard for his line of work. They went back and figured out through his financials what he owed me and what he would have gotten from the time the first contract had been signed and I got a good chunk of what he had left in his accounts.” She smiled at the thought of how his lawyers were pretty much getting the rest of what was left. “He won’t need it in prison anyway.”

“As for my parents, they are a different story. I negotiated with that a little differently. They are my parents and I’m not going to toss them to the street just because they are assholes. Their finances were consolidated, their goods sold and they were allowed to keep enough furniture to furnish a nice two bedroom apartment and several sets of clothes and some jewelry, that sort of thing…basically what a normal person should have. The rest was sold and the funds put into the general account. After that they are allowed a stipend every month to pay for their rent and utilities, groceries and general expenses but they have an accountant overseeing their money. They aren’t allowed to handle it themselves anymore.”

Cody blinked in surprise at her, “But…why?”

Clara tasted the soup and then took a spoonful, swallowed then answered. “Because my parents are both substance abusers of alcohol and drugs, they can’t be trusted not to take that money, go out and buy their next binge or hit. Of course all of this is contingent that when they come out of rehab, they stay clean and sober. They can live very comfortably off of what I’ve set up for them and will never have to work a day in their life. But if they want something, they’ll have to get it approved through the accountant for the funds first so they can’t squander their money. My parents were reasonable people before my ‘fame and fortune’ but they’ve now been living for too long getting whatever they wanted and not using their brains to think about the consequences of their actions. What I’ve done forces them to make careful decisions in regards to their finances and lifestyle. If they start using drugs or drinking heavily again, they chance to lose their ‘free ride’. I can only do so much to save them from themselves before I’ll have to cut the cord.”

Jesse nodded as he ate quietly, listening. He was proud to hear that she hadn’t just cut her parents off and left them to dangle. Granted, from the sounds of it, they probably deserved it but who was he to judge. It was a different culture, a different world out in LA. But from what Clara had said, it showed what kind of person she was in that she was willing to try and help her parents get their lives straight, even if it was through tough love.

Matt ate for awhile and then smiled over at her, “So you’ve got one more concert tour to do, then you’re here to stay for good?” he asked, sounding a little hopeful.

She chuckled softly and nodded, “That’s the plan. My tour starts about the time Cody heads off to college. So I’ll get to hang out for the summer at least,” she said with a wink at Cody and grinned at his expression of anticipation. “After that, I’m a free woman unless I want to sign a new contract or go to a new record company…which before you ask, the answer is ‘no’. I’m quite sure I can find something around here to occupy my time with after I get back.” Her eyes drifted over towards Matt as her cheeks colored a nice shade of pink.

Matt’s cheeks flushed with a touch of red and he looked down at the bowl of soup in front of him. “Oh, I’m sure you could,” he said as he looked up with that charming smile of his, his green eyes flashing with a hint of mirth. His hand reached across the table and took a hold of hers, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Jesse raised an eyebrow at this, though he smiled in quiet relief as things seemed to finally be settling down and working out for his oldest son and Clara. Cody, however, grinned like a fiend who’d just gotten away with all the gold in Fort Knox.

Fin -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was meant to 'set the scene' for future 'books' in this series as well as introduce Clara onto the scene. I wanted to make sure I had the background set up as to where everyone was in reguards to the timeline/background of the TV show. (This story ignores the Jesse Hawkes series) There will be a second part to this coming in the future. 
> 
> If you liked this story, please let me know. Comments fuel the muse.


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